Tag: ptsd

Harry Potter: Tarnished Silver: Better Moments

Fandom: Harry Potter
AU: Tarnished Silver
Series: Fireside Tales
Word Count: 368
Characters: Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Sirius Black

“He might never be sane again.” Neville sits with Hermione on a balcony overlooking a walled garden with a single occupant. “It’s a madness that’s all too common with those who’ve been in Azakaban for longer than a year. For some it’s greater, for others, less, but most of them are like that.”

Hermione sighs, watching the black-haired man who is sprawled in the middle of a patch of lawn, eyes closed as he naps in the moonlight as if basking in sun. At least right now he’s a man, and not a dog. Those are the moments when she – and everyone who works with him – know are the worst. When nothing will stop the nightmares save being in a form that doesn’t suffer them as greatly.

“Harry won’t like that prognosis.”

Harry will probably spend nights going back and forth between her bed and Ron’s, depending on what he wants at any given moment. It hurts them all to see him in that sort of mood.

“I know. That’s why I’m not telling him.” Neville’s hands tighten around the railing he’s leaning against, his face set in a distinctly worried frown. “Doctor Whitaker has some recommendations for long-term care options, but most of them aren’t viable.”

“Are any of them worth it?” Hermione is certain that Neville will give them the best advice possible on the care of Sirius. How to make him as sane as is possible, to keep him as happy and comfortable as can be.

“Hire a psychologist and a full-time caretaker to stay here.” Neville is watching Sirius, his expression still troubled. “Any of the rest are options Potter won’t like.”

Medications, or institutionalizing Sirius. Hermione’s done some research herself, and she knows Harry won’t accept putting Sirius back in a cage, even if it’s a comfortable one. And he’s never liked taking potions – of which medication is simply a Muggle sort. No, neither of those ideas is worth even mentioning to Harry.

“I’ll talk to Harry.” Hermione reaches out to rest a hand on Neville’s shoulder a moment. “Go on home. You need to rest.”

And she needs to talk to Harry about what they’re going to do to help Sirius further.

Originally Posted: 19 December 2013

AO3 | DW

precioustranswoman:

The effects of trauma don’t really hit peak bad until later, when you’re out, and you’ve had time to process it. You realize how bad it actually was, and then the PTSD sets in, and the panic disorder sets in, and your triggers develop. That’s when it finally hits peak bad.

PTSD: A Layman’s Guide

shadowcharmed:

Let’s talk a little about PTSD. Since this will be a theme on this blog, I want to dispel some misconceptions and myths. Hopefully this will help people understand such a complex disorder.

–

1) PTSD not what you think. It is not what the media thinks. You can have it and not know it.

2) Trauma is not what you think it is. Trauma is not what the media thinks it is. Trauma does not have to be a death; it does not have to be explosions; it does not have to be cancer; it does not have to be a near death experience, and it does not have to be witnessing a horrific thing such as gang rape. Trauma can be someone yelling at you; trauma can be someone ignoring you; trauma can be intense humiliation; trauma can be deep rejection, and trauma can be horrible betrayal. Trauma is that which wounds us so profoundly that we are permanently changed creatures.

3) There are two types of PTSD: Complex PTSD and PTSD. C-PTSD results from multiple traumas or multiple forms of abuse. PTSD is typically centered around just one event. C-PTSD is an accumulation.

4) You can get PTSD (or C-PTSD) from emotional abuse. This is possible. There are studies backing this up. Just because you weren’t “abused as badly” or “it was just words,” it doesn’t mean that you aren’t at risk or possibly suffer from PTSD. You can get it without being physically hurt.

5) Flashbacks don’t really work the way most people think they do. Every flashback is different. Sometimes you see things and sometimes you hear things. Sometimes a traumatic memory is played on a loop in your head, and the thoughts and feelings consume you for days. Sometimes you just feel like you’re emotionally re-experiencing the traumatic event. A lot of survivors of traumatic events don’t recognize those feelings as a flashback and therefore do not process upsetting events very well.

6) One of the most prominent symptoms of PTSD is avoidance. This can manifest as avoiding a single person or location. This can also be doing things like constantly distracting yourself so you don’t have to dwell on very upsetting memories or developing unhealthy habits such as constant drinking. This can lead to things like agoraphobia or other anxiety disorders.

7) PTSD develops because you experienced a very real threat to your safety and your brain wants to protect you from experiencing that again. It’s trying to remind you so you can avoid being in harm’s way again. This is your body’s attempt to save you. Don’t resent it too much. It’s trying to help.

8) People with PTSD startle easily and are hyper-vigilant in seemingly benign situations. This is because, as stated above, your brain is trying to protect you. Don’t get too upset or frustrated with yourself when you experience this. Respect your body. It wants to help.

9) Respect your trauma. Respect. Your. Trauma. So many people feel guilty bringing up something “benign” because “someone has it worse.” That is a normal reaction. People – and the media – tend to minimize things like emotional abuse or neglect. Those have scientifically been proven to be very traumatic. Respect your trauma. Just because someone has had a shittier situation, it doesn’t mean that yours isn’t shitty as well. Respect that. Know that your pain is real and your trauma is real. This is how healing from PTSD begins.

10) You don’t have to be a soldier to have PTSD.

If you constantly think about a traumatic encounter, constantly /avoid/ thinking about that encounter, have triggers such as seeing someone or going to a certain location, have anxiety or panic attacks when thinking about the event/person, feel unsafe all the time, or are easily startled, please see a mental health professional. You might have more than “just” anxiety. Your quality of life can be improved with treatment and medication. Respect your body. Respect your trauma. Respect your healing. Respect your worth.

rolohaliiburton:

I don’t often see abuse posts about the opposite spectrum of post-abuse behavior, and it’s. Kind of a bummer bc those are still things people experience.

So shout out to :

people who feel like they have to aggressively defend the things that are important to them because they’re so used to it being torn down and taken from them – even if a friend was just kidding, it’s so hard to see it as just kidding.

People who are constantly on high alert for a fight and had to learn to treat everything like a debate because it was the only way they could stand up for themselves. People who have a hard time rationalizing not everything is an attack because everything used to be an attack.

People who are mad and furious over what happened and get completely consumed by rage no matter how hard they try to let it go. And who have to deal with people telling them they’re making it bigger than it was.

People who have to constantly front as being a badass or aloof because they can’t be seen as vulnerable in any way.

People who constantly fear they’re just like their abuser because they lash out at a moment’s notice to defend themselves

There’s a ton more things but I’m on my break and these are just things I experience that I know a lot more people relate to omg. It’s hard to unlearn aggressive means of self preservation and it hurts to hurt people after you’ve had to experience that hurt and it seems impossible to get over or unlearn those things but you’ll do alright it just needs time and patience and there’s nothing wrong with being angry.

kyraneko:

cinnamonrolltoogayforthisworld:

gaelissfelin:

accio-shitpost:

tbh people mock harry for going back to rescue fleurs sister in the second triwizard task but harry knows dumbledore better than anyone else. he probably looked at the situation and thought “would dumbledore let an eight year old drown just because fleur couldnt do this bit? yes. yes he would.”

it’s also possible he was acting off of the lessons he learned in the abusive dursley household. that’s why he does a lot of his so-called “hero complex” shit. he takes a lot of personal responsibility for other people bc he learned growing up that “no one’s here for you, no one will help you, you will not catch any breaks”. he helps bc if he didn’t, who would? certainly not the dursleys, and that’s what he grew up with.

he does things by himself and the two people he actually trusts, bc he’s learned that authority figures are no help and will only make things worse. he takes situations at face value bc he’s never seen other options in his life, he’s never HAD other options in his life. speaking very personally, that was a serious marker of abuse that i saw in myself – i never thought abt escape, or what i could do to improve my situation, bc i didn’t even see that as an option. the options were survive or don’t, deal w it or don’t, acclimate or implode.

maybe he wasn’t thinking abt what DUMBLEDORE would do, what anyone at hogwarts would do. maybe he was acting off what he knew the dursleys (his main authority figures) would do. the dursleys would let the girl drown. and harry was there, and harry could do something, and so harry did. he took personal responsibility for fleur’s sister’s safety bc all his life he’s learned that authority figures cannot be trusted to do so.

people characterize these aspects of harry as a “hero complex” or a “stupid nobility” or a “lack of common sense”, but i don’t agree with that. i can’t put my finger on exactly what it is. it’s not completely unhealthy; it’s even very useful and responsible on occasion.

it’s called “complex ptsd” and if you get out of the abusive situation before you’re old enough to understand how fucked up it was, like Harry did, you don’t end up with the classic flashbacks so much, just atypical behavior patterns and a high risk of other shit. That’s why Harry is so fucked up by everything that Umbridge does, it’s because he’s being retraumatized in his safe space.

Seriously, the Dursleys would have not only let her drown, they would have let her drown so they could blame Harry for it afterwards. (Although the loudest “Potter, too busy winning to care about anyone else” voice in his head would probably be Snape’s.)

Incidentally this is even more clear in the first and second books, to me. Because Harry DID go to adults and say someone’s trying to steal the stone, and what did the adults do? Did they say, yes, we know, we’re taking precautions, real, good protective measures? Noooo. Did they say, thank you, we’ll look into it, even? Noooo. They said, don’t be silly, it’s not your concern, nothing to see here, little boy, run along and do your schoolwork.

And they said this to a boy whose entire life experience has never involved an adult that can be depended on. And they lied, lied about their own knowledge, said “that’s silly” when they know “that’s true.” And they were too convincing: since he as well knew the truth, what they ended up convincing him was that they didn’t know. And it fit right in with his expectations. Adults, whether actively malicious (the Dursleys, Snape) or well-meaning but oblivious (Mrs. Figg, Harry’s primary-school teachers, the other Hogwarts teachers), can’t be depended on. If anything’s got to be done, Harry and his friends have got to do it himself.

Second book, same thing—they’re headed for the teacher’s lounge to tell the teachers it’s a basilisk, and overhear the teachers saying that Ginny Weasley’s been taken by the monster, and they need to close Hogwarts, and their only plan to rescue Ginny is to send Gilderoy Lockhart—knowing full well he’s a fraud, a coward, and no match for a Cornish pixie, let alone a basilisk. Once again, the adults are flat-out useless and if anyone is going to save Ginny, it’s gotta be Harry and Ron. 

Notably, this is after another ball-drop on the part of the adults: when Harry’s been framed for underage magic and locked up in his room and starved by people who have every intention of keeping him out of Hogwarts forever, it’s other kids, Ron, Fred, and George, who go rescue him, and when the adults find out, one of them punishes and scolds and the other is only interested in how his car worked.

In book three, we meet a couple of adults that are competent, helpful, and willing to listen—Sirius and Remus—and the other adults come in and the end result is, one’s fired and the other has to go on the run lest he have his soul sucked out by dementors. Dumbledore does listen and give them the necessary hints, but it’s Harry, and Hermione this time, who have to do the work.

And then in Order of the Phoenix, in comes the smothering bullshit about how he’s too young to be in the Order and needs to leave everything to the grownups, after the grownups have dropped the ball four years running and are batting zero on the trust-and-listening factor—no wonder he threw a tantrum, I would’ve thrown a tantrum, he was fucking entitled to one.

the-last-hair-bender
replied to your post “Brain, can we please maybe save the frustration for things actually…”

So, I don’t know if this will help for you but it helped me. Physically yell at your depression and tell it to fuck off. As loudly as you can get away with.

If that doesn’t work, than know that I adore you and if you need to talk I’m around.

Yelling isn’t an option, more for my own anxiety/probable PTSD than because of other people. I do find that saying something, even if all I’m doing is grumbling into the void of the internet, does help, at least a little.

Right now, there is also hot ramen with extra ginger to help encourage whatever is trying to inhabit my respiratory tract to fuck off, plenty of water, and attempts to figure out what Julian is up to in my raised-by-the-Obsidian-Order AU, because so far I’m not entirely sure it’s going to add up to a plot.

(Other than Julian has decided that he’s going to keep two Obsidian Order spies, two Bajoran ex-resistance cell members, one half-Cardassian teenager, and possibly a handful of Starfleet officers. They’re his, they chose him, he’ll keep them, thank you, yes he knows they have jobs to do, they can do them, that’s awesome, they’re still his, and name a god to fail to help you if you hurt them.)

Also, thank you. I’m sitting here grinning because compliments and talking, and it’s an awesome reinforcement that my brain is lying to me a lot. 🙂

a professor that accommodates ptsd? what is this??

icedcatte:

pacificnorthwestdoodles:

thatweirdsister:

Today I was talking to my professor about my ptsd and how it may affect class performance, because it’s a very participation-heavy class. The system that my professor came up with is kind of beautiful, so I want to share it with you guys.

She gave me some neon pink post-its, the kind that can be seen for miles because of how bright they are. If I’m having a flashback, dissociating, panic attack, etc., I can just put one of the post-its on my notebook, or somewhere in front of me on the desk. She’ll take that as a cue to not call on me and not expect me to participate. When I’m ready to engage in class again, I’ll just move the post-it out of sight.

I definitely appreciate having this accommodation, and I plan to use it with my future students someday. It’s simple, works when I’m non-verbal, and it doesn’t look like anything weird or attention-grabbing to classmates.

That’s a great idea!

@jadeskyewalker

Folks with CPTSD can often exhibit the outwardly signs recognized with PTSD such as anxiety and avoidance behaviors, but they have literally developed their identities within the containers of trauma and neglect, unable to make external changes to their environments to bring relief. Because there was an inability to create external changes to protect or remove onesself, the person learns to make deep internal changes, often absorbing as fundamental truths the insidious lies of the traumas in order to survive.
Because of this, relationships can be some of the most challenging and in fact terrifying things to navigate as they are the actual battle ground where the original traumas occurred. Imagine if all the ways you learned to understand yourself, what you can expect from others and your role in the world was shaped through neglect, gas lighting, manipulation, shame, physical,  sexual and psychological boundary violations and isolation. At the core of CPTSD is the very real struggle for trust, especially trusting yourself. The primary relationship that is most damaged in ongoing developmental trauma is the relationship we have with ourselves AND it is the one we have to fight the hardest to get back.

CPTSD, Allostatic Load and Giving No Fucks
(via optais-amme)