Queer is actually different word with a different history than some words in a similar category. It’s been used politically as well as personally and it a word with a militantly inclusive and affirming background – whatever it may or may not have had in other countries years ago.
The ‘queer is a slur’ crap was started by TERFs, apparently in the 70s and 80s – although I can only find examples in the 90s and 00s. I had to learn about its history too – because in Australia, it’s not a slur at all! It only surfaced as ‘a slur’ and something to demand people tag and to attack people over about a year ago on Tumblr. I will not buy into that loaded rhetoric.
Please think critically about why you are asking ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE to slur-tag their own identities because it’s a really transparent power-play and logical fallacy. Why? Because Xkit and a couple of the other add-ons with blacklist etc remove posts with key words in them ALREADY. WITHOUT you needing to tag them. If someone is hiding ‘queer’, there is NO REASON for them to ask a blogger to ALSO tag ‘q slur’, unless their reason has nothing to do with being protected from triggers at all.
it’s a powerplay. It’s coming to someone’s blog to subtly let them know that you don’t like the fact they use the word. It’s a subtle move to make the word less acceptable. To make someone else feel ashamed of a word YOU don’t like and YOU don’t have good associations with. For some people it’s, “My pain and experiences are more important than anyone elses, and everyone is required to change their lexicon for ME.”
Nope. Just nope. This is a queer blog, I am queer, and I’m not tagging ‘q slur’ for someone who doesn’t want to research their history, think critically, and would rather be a mindless attack mob for TERFs, aphobes, truscum, and other exclusionist groups of people that benefit from an inclusive word like ‘queer’ becoming a no-no in our community.
This is exactly why I won’t tag it – if you need the word to be tagged, that BY DEFAULT means that you are using a blacklisting service, which means YOU CAN JUST BLACKLIST THE WHOLE WORD.
Like, I blacklist the word “diet” because I need a little buffer between myself and the concept sometimes when my eating disorder is acting up. I blacklist things like ‘fitness’ and ‘weight loss’ – because that’s what I need to avoid to keep myself healthy. I don’t ask people not to post about their fitness goals when there is a perfectly easy way for me to avoid it.
There’s even! a browser extension! that replaces certain words! You may have seen people jokingly using it to replace “Millennials” with “Snake People,” for example. You could also use it to replace “queer” with “gay” or some other word if you needed to.
There are lots of ways that people use every day to protect themselves from easily avoidable words and topics – so coming onto someone’s post, when they are using the word as self-identification, especially, and calling it a slur? That’s fucking RUDE. The first time I self-ID’d as queer in the mid-00s, do you know what happened? A straight TERF came onto my LJ post comments and told me I couldn’t use it because it was a slur.
You know what I did? I fucking blocked her. My sentiment has not changed in 12 years. It’s my word, the only one that really fits me, and if you don’t like it, I’m all right with you leaving to protect yourself. You do you. But I’m gonna do me.
Tag: language
autistic people using big words and “clinical” sounding language because they feel it to be the most effective means of communication is so often perceived by allistics as pretension. autistics are then made fun of for this use of language which can be incredibly damaging and often causes autistics to retreat further into themselves as any attempts they make to communicate with allistics cause them to be punished
so in general if you don’t like the way someone speaks (especially if you know for a fact that they’re autistic) maybe don’t make fun of them and instead do your best to understand and communicate with them in a way that’s beneficial to you both
Fact: Deaf babies, when exposed to ASL, start to babble with their hands and learn to produce handshapes just as hearing babies do. They proceed through a similar linguistic acquisition process.
Fact: When children have early language input of any type, they later develop better reading skills (in English) then children prohibited from learning language. Children who learn ASL early learn to read better.
Fact: Extended language deprovation causes children to be at risk in other areas of physical and emotional development
Fact: Language development lies at the core of human-emotional and mental development.
Fact: The brain processes signed languages just as spoken language. Signed languages are in no way inferior to spoken languages.
Fact: Just as everyone has the right to speak, everyone has the right to sign.
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
things linguistics has taught me: do not fuck with the welsh
Seriously though do not. This is welsh nationalism in a nutshell.
So like, 150 or so years ago, nobody cared about Welsh. Not even the welsh. But then, one day, some folks got sick of paying the tolls at toll gates. Citing bizarre biblical precedent, they dressed up as women and started seizing toll gates, at which point the (also welsh) gate owners went “WTF?” and called in (english) magistrates to resolve the dispute.
The English Magistrates looked at the situation and went “WTF?” and commissioned an inquiry loosely titled “WTF is wrong with Wales??”
Well this commission did a ton of work and looked at schools and politics and people on hillsides raising sheep and all that jazz and came to the thrilling conclusion: What’s Wrong with Wales is that Ridiculous Backwards Language they all speak there.
There was a moment of dead silence, broken only by the loud scrape as Wales, collectively, as a nation, in a fit of unity not seen since the castles came to subjugate the native tribes, pushed back its chair, stood up slowly, and said “what you just say bout me?”
And folks who’d never heard it spoken started teaching their children Welsh, and the old sheep herder on the hill became a cultural icon, and the rioters and the gate owners high fived each other and said “suck it, England!” (only in Welsh this time).
And now Welsh is a protected language, there’s a strong Welsh nationalist movement, with its own flag and spelling conventions, and there’s a Welsh channel on television (which is doubly impressive when you remember that Britain only has like three channels).
And that is how the Welsh saved their language from extinction by sheer force of spite
Just gotta add those toll booth riots were called the Rebecca Riots, the rioters were known as Rebeccas and I am named after them. It’s the one consolation to an otherwise boring name.
Also my great grandad lived to the age of 101 and never spoke a word of English that wasn’t forced out of him through threat of unemployment. Despite being fluent and having 5 great grandchildren who have the Welsh vocabulary of toddlers.
I LOVE THIS
IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A NB PARENTAL TITLE FOR YEARSthis means the world to me
I love this.
As someone who headcanons Harry Potter to be of Indian descent it pleases me to think that his name is actually Hari, and that Aunt Petunia just Anglicized it because foreigners.
According to the interwebs, ‘Hari’ is a Sanskrit name meaning… Lion.
So yeah. Hari the mixed race savior of the Wizarding World.
“you make my heart beat in iambic pentameter.”
no you don’t understand shakespeare literally writes to the beat of your heart
- that’s why shakespearean actors will sometimes pound their chests in time to the words during readings
- that’s why you use fluctuations in the rhythm to track your character’s emotional state – any irregularities in the scansion are like the character’s heart stuttering or jumping or skipping a beat
- that’s why when characters share the rhythm – switching off in the middle of a foot – those characters inevitably have an extraordinarily intimate connection
shakespeare fucking writes viscerally, he is literally in your body, and that, my friend, that is why the best shakespearean actors don’t posture and emote
you have to be fucking alive and passionate and electric – it can’t be intellectual, in the end, it has to be about connection and the sweating, cheering, jeering, bleeding masses you’re performing to, because make no mistake, shakespeare may go to lofty heights, but he only works if you’re just as grounded in the earth. he has to be in your body. he has to be in your body.
holy motherfucking shit i love shakespeare so much, get him in your bones, breathe him in, stomp and rage and pine, dadum dadum dadum dadum dadum, it is literally to the beat of your heart
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple,
But one thing you’ve missed:
The concept of “purple”
Didn’t always exist.Some cultures lack names
For a color, you see.
Hence good old Homer
And his “wine-dark sea.”A usage so quaint,
A phrasing so old,
For verses of romance
Is sheer fucking gold.So roses are red.
Violets once were called blue.
I’m hugely pedantic
But what else is new?
The Courtesy Rules Of Blindness
from The Courtesy Rules Of Blindness
“When you meet me don’t be ill at ease. It will help both of us if you remember these simple points of courtesy:
- I’m an ordinary person, just blind. You don’t need to raise your voice or address me as if I were a child. Don’t ask my spouse what I want–“Cream in the coffee?”–ask me.
- I may use a long white cane or a guide dog to walk independently; or I may ask to take your arm. Let me decide, and please don’t grab my arm; let me take yours. I’ll keep a half-step behind to anticipate curbs and steps.
- I want to know who’s in the room with me. Speak when you enter. Introduce me to the others including children, and tell me if there’s a cat or dog.
- The door to a room or cabinet or to a car that is left partially open is a hazard to me.
- At dinner I will not have trouble with ordinary table skills.
- Don’t avoid words like “see.” I use them too. I’m always glad to see you.
- I don’t want pity, but don’t talk about the “wonderful compensations” of blindness. My sense of smell, taste, touch or hearing did not improve when I became blind, I rely on them more and, therefore, may get more information through those senses than you do–that’s all.
- If I’m your houseguest, show me the bathroom, closet, dresser, window–the light switch too. I like to know whether the lights are on or off.
- I’ll discuss blindness with you if you’re curious, but it’s an old story to me. I have as many other interests as you do.
- Don’t think of me as just a blind person. I’m just a person who happens to be blind.
- You don’t need to remember some “politically correct” term, “visually impaired”, “sight challenged” etc. Keep it simple and honest, just say blind.
In all 50 states the law requires drivers to yield the right of way when they see my extended white cane. Only the blind may carry white canes. You see more blind persons today walking alone, not because there are more of us, but because we have learned to make our own way.”
How was squick used? Like would you tag something you didn’t want to see or comment “X is my squick because of Y”?
For the original ask, requesting the definition of squick, please see this post.
Squick is a fun term that was often used as both a noun and a verb. Either X was one of your squicks, or X squicked you, or squicked you out, or squicked you hard.
It was often used in fic exchanges. They would ask for a list of your squicks so that the gifting author would know not to include any hint of them. It was also used in casual conversation with fandom friends, authors, artists, etc. It could be left in comments, or as a reason you just didn’t read your best fandom friend’s latest fic. “Sorry, bff, you know I love your writing, but you have X tagged at the top, and that just squicks me out.” “Hey, no worries, best reader friend! I totally get it. Give this one a pass, but I’ll send you a note when I post my next one! I promise it will be totally X-free!”
Here’s the thing though. In your example, you explain why X is your squick with Y. But the beauty of squick was that (at least in my experience) no explanation was necessary. Not only was it not necessary, it was rarely asked for. A squick is a squick, and there doesn’t have to be any rhyme or reason. In fact, why would you have a rational, bullet-pointed, well-thought-out argument as to why something squicked you out? Very often it’s a visceral reaction, and if you don’t like the thing, you’re likely not going to sit and do deep meditation on why not.
Squicks were respected by fandom. You don’t like the thing, okay, we will tag the thing appropriately, you do not have to read the thing, no judgments on either side. There was no fandom policing, only respect.
And this, I think, is super important, because fandom policing is a problem, especially when it comes to triggers. “Trigger” has become so overused, so all-encompassing, that people feel they have to defend their legitimate triggers. If X triggers you, it triggers you, and you DO NOT need to provide an explanation. But because “trigger” is so often used in place of “squick,” some people feel they have the right to “call out” those who use the word. They want explanations, they want you to tell them what that triggering concept does to you, so they can call bullshit and feel superior. You don’t have to explain either your squicks or your triggers, but using the correct word stops the fandom police from feeling as though they have the right to ask.
Bring “squick” back, people. Don’t devalue triggers, which are horrible, nasty, dangerous things.
#the beauty of squick was that it offered no moral judgement#merely a statement of personal taste#and let you estate when something just wasn’t your cup of tea#without having to justify it#plenty of things squick me out in fic which are absolutely not triggers#but now there’s a real culture of having to justify not liking stuff on a moral basis (via clarias)
the culture of justifying dislike on an ideological/moral basis in part one: chapter one of my novel, Let Me Show You My Issues With Tumblr Fandom. the requirement for ideological purity has become so impossibly strict, and is valued so highly, that tearing the thing you dislike from an ideological standpoint is the quickest way to shut it down. it’s a cheap, disingenuous shortcut that exploits social justice language for personal leverage. it’s not like we were free of wankery and ship wars back in ye olde lj days, god, far from it, but at least the insults we flung at each other were subjective: A is so bad for B and if you can’t see that you’re an idiot!!! B/C OTP!!! (i should also disclaim that we did have moral policing as well, it was just FAR less extensive.) leveraging social justice concepts is an attempt to gain a kind of objective superiority. “they’re a dark ship and i don’t like that” holds little power; “they’re abusive and you support abuse by shipping this” is a trump card to shut down the content you don’t like and the people who fan it. that kind of rhetoric is all over the damn place and it continues to be propagated because it works and it has created a culture from which a variety of problems like the trigger issue explained above consistently arise.
…i would go into further chapters on my novel but i am tired now
As an additional data point, as far as I know the term “squick” comes from the BDSM community, originally. At least that’s where I first encountered it, on BDSM message boards on usenet in the mid-90s – yes, I was on BDSM message boards in the mid-90s; long story. As such, the implicit lack of judgment is important to the meaning of the word; you need a word to mean “I really don’t want to do that, and I don’t want to watch you doing that, but I don’t judge YOU for liking that and I don’t mind if YOU do it … somewhere far away from me.”
I can’t really think of any other words we have for the same concept that aren’t judgmental to some extent. Anything I can think of to try to define “squick” using non-slangy words (disgusting, unpleasant, etc) have a judgy sort of vibe. And we really do need a word to talk about tropes and kinks in the same kind of way we can talk about how you like that ship and I like this ship but that doesn’t make your ship bad.
(Er, ideally we’d be able to talk about ships that way, obviously, in a perfect world … XD)
I was also thinking about how the original ask implies a very modern fannish mindset that’s just … not there, in the original fandom milieu that the squick concept came out of. Not that I’m saying fandom was better in the old days or anything, god no. But trying to explain why you have a squick, or asking someone else why they have theirs, is just not a thing you’d generally do. Squicks are irrational; that’s baked into the meaning of the word. Squicks aren’t something you explain. They just are. I mean, you could obviously try to figure it out, just like you can try to figure out why you have a particular kink, but in both cases, you don’t have to explain or justify it in order for other people to accept it as valid. I don’t need to explain that I like h/c for X and Y reasons in order to request it in an exchange. And squick functions the same way.
All of which makes it a very useful word for talking about fandom concepts without implying that someone else’s tastes make them a bad person!
My tired old soul reflecting on how ideas, concepts, sensibilities, can just disappear.
Squicks are not triggers. I have both: much better as I’m feeling these days, certain visuals can trigger my OCD. Once triggered, my OCD must be handled or it will fucking impair me.
This is so utterly different from encountering a squick. Look, dude, Omegaverse dynamics are a squick of mine. Stumbling over Omegaverse Turkfic will not force me to get my CBT and exposure practice going on. It will make me feel icky and I will stop reading and move on, grateful for all the kind souls who tag their Omegaverse fiction.
Now I live in this world where no one, apparently, should produce content that squicks anyone else, because squick=trigger, and triggering people is immoral. I can’t figure out how we landed here, as fans.
An important distinction like the difference between “squick” and “trigger” should not disappear in the name of protecting people from culture.
Squick is such a great word and really necessary. I have zero triggers, but there’s stuff that, as Judy said, makes me feel icky and I stop reading/watching.
I took a ten year long black out from fandom anything online (life happened) and when I got back, I was so confused. Bring back squick. Use it, own the expirence you want without the need to judge or demand or label what other people want from their expirence.
Hail to the squick.
There's a Mirror on the Wall 