Tag: this
“If you are a monster, stand up.
If you are a monster, a trickster, a fiend,
If you’ve built a steam-powered wishing machine
If you have a secret, a dark past, a scheme,
If you kidnap maidens or dabble in dreams
Come stand by me. If you have been broken, stand up.
If you have been broken, abandoned, alone
If you have been starving, a creature of bone
If you live in a tower, a dungeon, a throne
If you weep for wanting, to be held, to be known,
Come stand by me. If you are a savage, stand up.
If you are a witch, a dark queen, a black knight,
If you are a mummer, a pixie, a sprite,
If you are a pirate, a tomcat, a wright,
If you swear by the moon and you fight the hard fight,
Come stand by me. If you are a devil, stand up.
If you are a villain, a madman, a beast,
If you are a strowler, a prowler, a priest,
If you are a dragon come sit at our feast,
For we all have stripes, and we all have horns, We all have scales, tails, manes, claws and thorns
And here in the dark is where new worlds are born.
Come stand by me.”— A Monstrous Manifesto, by Catherynne M. Valente (via handsagainsthearts)
things i didn’t know were caused by adhd
I wanted to make a list of things i do or used to do, of things i often blamed or hated myself for, got into trouble for or made me feel like a failure. hopefully it helps someone ❤
- I know I must do the thing but I can’t do the thing – I never knew executive dysfunction was something/I had it, but it explains everything. I know people will get mad if I don’t do x, or I’ll have issues if I don’t do it, but I just can’t get up and do it. I always just thought I was lazy, but it’s entirely different.
- Not going to classes. Partly because of exectuvie dysfunction, just not being able to go through the 20 steps to just even get out of the house no matter how much I know I need to. Partly because of all the things around me towards and on the train, to class, the mere thought of these was exhausting. I skipped a lot of classes feeling horrible, guilty, worthless,, stupid, you name it. This was a big issue for me and probably will still be once I go back, but now I at least know the reason why.
- Getting too emotional. I cried all the time as a child. I still cry really easily. I can break down within a minute from being completely fine to an absolute mess. Negative attention is murder- RSD is a big issue. Thought I was just whiny and weak.
- Not cleaning my room. It’s a mess, I hate the mess. I can clean some areas sometimes, and it’s been clean, like… months ago. I know I need to handle it. I just… don’t.
- Stop hobbies, projects, things that I liked, just out of nowhere. Always felt guilty about letting go of stuff so fast.
- Lying. “I watched that movie.” “I did the homework.” “I watched what you sent me.” Even if there was nothing negative happening if I was honest, I still couldn’t accept that I “simply didn’t do the thing”.
- impulse. buying.
- “why the fuck am i drained from energy all of a sudden, i feel like i’m gonna crash and literally any sound will destroy me rn”
- talking too fast. this was the 1 and often only complaint I get at presentations.
- oversharing, then hating myself for it.
- “how the fuck am I bored with this already i was obsessed ten minutes ago.”
- “i’m going to the store.” *three hours later*. “I think I’m ready- wait what was I buying again.”
- losing my important stuff???? like always????? dk where anything is ever
- as a kid I was always preached at because “you always want to be able to do everything right away and if you don’t you get frustrated and stop.” I never knew why this was until now.
- my dad also always got mad because if we’d be looking at a site together I’d already click the button or do stuff before he got the chance to read and it pissed me off
- hyperfocusing on either negative things like triggers or buying things that are extremely expensive so i end up feeling egoistic and self-centered.
- “wait so you should actually feel like… more energy after you drank caffeine?”
- and so much more.
other great things about being a smart kid: anytime you ever struggle with anything your parent/teacher/authority figure’s reaction is an irritated “you’re smart! i know you can get this!”
YES. THANK YOU. THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT INSTANTANEOUSLY AN EXPERT IS THAT I WANT TO MAKE IT SPECIFICALLY HARDER ON YOU. AND MYSELF! I LOVE MUTUAL AGONY AND TORTURE. IT BRINGS ME JOY TO FRUSTRATE VENGEFUL ADULTS.
I was thinking about this recently because as glad as I am that I wasn’t put down, I don’t like this being the reaction every time I go for help.
“I’m struggling with this, help!”
“No it’s easy! Youre capable! You’re just not trying hard enough!” *doesnt help or give advice* *lets person take full consequences of subsequent failure or even punishes them for it*
Results in
a) believes asking for help is not acceptable and will just make other people resent you
b) interprets “you can do it” as an ultimatum, eg. “Failure will not be tolerated!”
c) on that note, difficulty accepting genuine encouragement because it feels like a threat
*circles “a”*
Sleepover Saturday – what originally drew you to Loki?
His black suit, haha.
In seriousness, I think it was just … his utter complexity as a character? There are so many layers to Loki, you can keep peeling them back and peeling them back and still never quite reach the core of what makes him tick. He is mercurial and callous, he is insecure and damaged, he is jaded and cynical, he is intelligent and witty, he is mischievous and sly. He feels things so deeply, though it is often to his own detriment, and he has an enormous capacity to love, but sabotages it by his equally enormous capacity for self-loathing. He wears so many masks – villain, anti-hero, savior, trickster – but for all of his layers and identities, there isn’t a bit of true, unrepentant evil in him. Not at all. His villainy lacks conviction, as Coulson pointed out, and comes from a place of deep pain, not true cruelty. He is not irredeemable. He’s like a puzzle piece that never quite fits anywhere, but has not yet discovered that this is what makes him so preciously rare. He has yet to find value in himself, but there’s the sense that he could, eventually. He’s made strides in that direction. And I think all of these factors just culminate in a character whose complexity makes him achingly relatable, because in a world full of superheroes, some of us are just the insecure, strange puzzle pieces still trying to figure out where we fit.
Thank you for the ask!
Protip: if something’s tagged as an AU, maybe don’t complain when you read it and it turns out to not be canon verse?
i’m
HERE
and i’m
QUEER
and
IT’S MUCH EASIER TO SAY I’M QUEER THAN TO LIST OUT MY ENTIRE FUCKING IDENTITY
I just wanna let y’all know that you do fanfic tropes all of the time, we just don’t describe them like beginning writers do. You:
- Push your shoes off with your toes or with the tip of your shoe, most likely. Props for drama if you yank your converse or your vans or your boots off like a soldier in a scyfi drama, but otherwise, you’re “toeing your shoes off”
- Humans are much better at dissecting scents than we give ourselves credit for. If you sit there long enough, you could dissect how your friend smells. I smell like “old, beat up cars, the sour citrus he isn’t supposed to have, and something musty and natural and unique to him that clings to all of his clothes.” In order that’s old flannel, three day old hair mousse, and fish tank water. Smells like cigarettes and oils cling to your clothes, stuff like fishtanks and the food in your kitchen seeps into your belongings. Don’t feel bad about describing scents, people carry our houses with us everywhere.
- Have you ever pet someone else’s hair? That’s “carding your fingers through.” That’s it. It’s the same thing.
- Ever walked around barefoot? Its three am and you’re trying to make Dark Lunch? You’ve padded around. You signal to other people nonverbally whether its coughing or sighing that you’re there so that you don’t scare them.
- Smirking is a thing most of us do with our face. Grinning, looking cheeky, and raising our eyebrows are also all things your face does. Sorry
- You might not get this if you’re a straight girl whose never had sex, but sometimes that little strip of skin between ya shirt and ya hips? The mouth can go there. That’s an intimate place to touch and its a vulnerable place to be exposed. Overused maybe, but a valid way to show a shift in the situation.
- We all sigh!! Are some of y’all really saying that sighing isn’t a thing you do ten thousand times a week?? You don’t sigh when someone says something stupid as shit?? You don’t sigh when you gotta get up??
- SAID IS A VALID WORD
- Everything on your face casts shadows, I’m sorry you have weak eyelashes, or that somehow your brows are flat with your eyeballs
- People laugh silently! I’m sorry you’ve never laughed that hard!! People giggle! People snort! People double over and move and flail! Have you ever fucking laughed?
- For that matter how do y’all not blush and can you teach me
- I’d also like to say sorry if: your heart has never skipped a beat reading something terrible, or when you saw someone you liked even platonically, or if you’ve never been so surprised all you could do was blink, that you never looked at someone like you loved them, and that you somehow never fucking show any emotion in your voice or your posture at all
Tl;Dr: Some of y’all are dragging people for shit you don’t know how to describe and damn if you ain’t still reading things and then telling beginning writers that they’re describing impossible things and writing weirdly when y’all don’t even write shit, its obnoxious as hell. To y’all that do write and are aggressively against this post, I bet you sure as hell use EPITHETS INAPPROPRIATELY ANYWAY, DON’T YA?
You look up through your lashes when you half-lid your eyes to obscure your expression, sneak eye contact, or be coy.
People’s eyes darken and lighten because of pupils contracting and expanding. They brighten or sparkle because of same, or b/c of moisture building in eyes from laughing or being emotional.
Eyes shift colors in different lights and based on the colors around them.
Also (many) people are just really fucking good at reading microexpressions from the muscles around the eyes, we’re a uniquely social animal, yes your emotions show in your eyes.
Damn! This is a good post.
holy shit there is a name for it
Well damn. Explains a lot.
Suddenly I understand some of my fan base a LOT better. That is Awesome.
“holy shit there is a name for it” was my reaction before I even scrolled down to the comments.
I just need to keep reblogging this because I cannot even begin to tell you how profound a feeling of YES and THIS and THERE IS A WORD FOR ME OMG I get every time I see this, and I hope it helps others too.
seriously, anytime you see a post with a comment saying “theres a name for it?!” reblog that post because even if it doesnt apply to you any of your followers could be waiting for that revelation.
i was waiting for that revelation
you know how if you’re getting disability benefits, you get cut off if you have too much (even if it doesn’t bring you out of poverty)? Same with a lot of welfare benefits?
Why can’t we reverse that expectation?
If a household has more than (and I’m being generous here with this number) than 100 million dollars in all assets – that’s both wealth AND income – the rest is seized by the government as taxes and invested in social security.
If a corporation has more than (again, being generous here!) 1 billion dollars in profit, the rest is seized and invested in UBI
There's a Mirror on the Wall 