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@poplitealqueen – more for you! 🙂
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Holding Pattern | Escalation
Warnings: referencing ongoing torture, psychological torture/induced hallucinations
He doesn’t know how long he is in chains, in a room where the light never falters, never changes. The only measure of time is when his captor meditates, when he feeds Qui-Gon, when he allows him water, when he allows him to relieve himself into a chamberpot.
When he allows Qui-Gon to stand, muscles cramping and struggling to hold him upright. Never to lay down, never to have that much comfort. Barely allowed to sleep, and even when he is, he can never sleep well, crouched as he is, with every joint and muscle aching at best.
Sometimes he would activate some mechanism that Qui-Gon can’t see, sending electricity darting along his nerves, leaving him twitching and unable to keep his emotions under as much control as he would prefer. Uncertainty is a constant companion, and fear rarely far away.
When he slips into sleep swiftly after eating – he doesn’t bother trying to fight it, preferring to save his strength for when he’s given a chance to stand – Qui-Gon wonders where he will wake this time.
He’s not sure if it is an improvement on his captivity to be once more in the first room, in the dark and the damp and the chill, or not. At least here he can move freely.
Qui-Gon tries to speak, hoping perhaps this move also means he is given his voice back, but still nothing emerges. No voice until and unless his captor allows him to speak.
After that, time begins to blur. Back and forth between the lack of sensation in one room, and the overabundance of it in the other. Never allowed to speak, never addressed by his name – he is only Jedi. Sometimes he forgets he has any other name, and it takes him longer to remind himself that he does have a name. To remind himself that there is something beyond this endless captivity, that someone must be searching for him, will find him.
When he wakes on a cot, instead of stone or crouched in chains, he startles, trying to roll off and away. He can’t move, though, and he hears a quiet laugh. The twi’lek again, the master of this place.
“I had you washed, pet. You were filthy. Rest.”
Darkness washes over his vision, and though he fights not to fall back into sleep, it drags him under. He’s still on the cot when he wakes later, though now he can move. Something feels different, though it takes him a while to realize what it is.
His skin feels tight in places, itching like it’s healing, and tender. And he can move, can roll off the bed, and stand on the stone floor. It’s cold, almost icy under his feet, and the air holds a chill not entirely unlike the dark room. There is light here, though. A door, that he doesn’t even bother to try to open – it will be locked.
There is nothing in the room beyond the cot, with its thin mattress and no blankets, and a light panel that is seamlessly integrated into the wall, fused to the stone to prevent access. No access to water or food, even the pellets or goop he’d come to expect.
He sits on the cot, watching the door, and waiting for any sign of the twi’lek. How long he waits, he doesn’t know – the light never dims, never brightens, never changes, and nothing else in the room does either. All he can do is wait and count his breaths, his heartbeats. Eventually, he begins to pace, just for something to do, counting his steps from wall to wall. It doesn’t soothe the agitation, the niggling maybe-fear that claws at the back of his mind.
Nothing changes before he passes out, curled up on the cot and facing the door, and nothing has changed when he wakes again. He repeats the same cycle three times before he tries the door even though he’s certain it will be locked. Except it isn’t, and he stares a moment at it, and the bit it’s shifted.
When he pulls it open fully, there is nothing outside but yawning darkness. Even the light from the room doesn’t go beyond the door frame more than a few inches. A draft comes through it, icy cold that makes him shiver before he closes the door again. Without knowing how far it is through the cold, he can’t go out there.
Yet, if he stays, he will starve, or die of dehydration. Perhaps should have already.
He paces the room until he passes out once more, hoping perhaps there will be something different when he wakes this time.
Luck is not with him.
Taking a deep breath, he opens the door again, looking out into the darkness. Trying to decide which direction to go. He leaves the door open behind him, to be a light to guide him back if he can’t find anything out there.
There’s nothing to see, even once his eyes adjust to the dark, and all he can do is slowly shuffle his way forward, looking over his shoulder periodically to make sure he can still see the light of the room. He’s not sure what it is he’s walking on, other than something cold. Not sure if he’ll find anything.
No time, nothing but the darkness and the dwindling point of light, and the cold. He’s not even sure how far he goes before he stops, turning back to look at the light. Trying to decide if he’d rather go back to the warmth and the light and starve there, or die faster out here, from the cold.
Dropping to his knees, he takes a deep, shuddering breath. Staring at the light, his hands resting on his thighs, for a long moment before he closes them. Trying to listen for anything from the Force. Any sign that he should go back or remain where he is.
Silence.
He takes another shuddering breath, splaying his fingers out over his knees a moment, and opens his eyes. Staring at the light in the distance without moving. What does it matter if he dies here or there when he cannot even reach the Force?
Closing his eyes again, he waits for the cold to do its work.
Smiling to himself, Joru steps away from the couch, feeling the despair and resignation that radiates from the Jedi. No. Not a Jedi, not any longer. His Apprentice.
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