Set aside some time, to allow yourself to work through each step. Don’t rush or skip ahead. See care is important, and you deserve to devote some time to it.
You may want to go through this routine as soon as you wake up, as a preventive measure.
1 – Have you eaten in the last four hours?
If you haven’t eaten in a little while, your body needs fuel. It’s time for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
If there’s a specific food you want, it’s okay to eat it! You don’t have to eat perfectly healthy all the time– no one does! Just also use your brain a little, and notice the quantity you’re eating, and how healthy it is for you. You’re probably just fine at trusting your gut and knowing what your body needs.
Making a meal is hard for you right now, and that’s okay! Everybody struggles with cooking sometimes.
You have some options: – You can cook a meal for yourself. – You might have ready-made meals in the fridge. – You can get take-out or delivery. – You can go to a restaurant.
Take-out, delivery, and restaurants are a little more expensive than cooking on your own, but how you spend your money is your decision. It’s okay to treat yourself!
If you’re going to cook on your own, you have to decide what to make. A friend, partner, or family member can help with this. Here are some ideas for easy foods you can eat right now: – Pasta with butter, sauce, cheese, vegetables, and/or meat – Ramen noodles – Sandwiches – Rice – Grilled cheese (This can have meat on it, if you want!) – A smoothie or milkshake – Baked or fried potatoes – Eggs, pancakes, and/or bacon – Macaroni and cheese – Canned soup – Salad – Vegan – Boxed mashed potatoes
2 – Have you taken any medication you need to take?
Medication needs to be taken on schedule, or your body might react negatively.
Take some time now to take any pills, do any tests or injections, or apply any ointments prescribed by your doctor.
If this is a persistent problem for you, you may want to set a smart phone alarm so you remember to take it at the same time every day.
3 – Are you keeping yourself hydrated?
Drink a glass of whatever liquid you like best. Water is ideal, but don’t beat yourself up if you’d rather have tea, soda, juice, or milk. Soda will actually make you feel thirstier, but if it’s easier for you, then that’s okay!
4 – Can you take a guess at how many hours you’ve slept out of the last 24?
Everyone is an individual with different sleep schedules, but most people need 8 hours of relatively uninterrupted sleep. If you had less than that, and/or woke up frequently, and/or had nightmares, it might help you to take a nap.
Take a nap. You can finish this self-care guide when you wake up.
Ideally, let yourself sleep naturally, and sleep until you wake up. Obviously, this isn’t always possible. Otherwise, set an alarm for yourself, with plenty of time to wake up and get yourself together between your nap and your responsibilities.
5 – Are you in pain?
If there is something your doctor has prescribed you for pain, you should take it or do it.
For aches and pains, take an aspirin. You may also want to apply a heating pad or a cold pack on whatever hurts.
If you have a stomach ache, there are medications for that, like Pepto Bismol, and hot tea may also help.
Be nice to your body, and try to do “replace” the unpleasant pain with some pleasant alternative sensations, like good smells and pleasurable textures.
6 – Is something about your environment distressing or uncomfortable? Are your surroundings the right temperature?
If you’re too cold, you can try putting on some warm clothes, using a space heater, turning up the heat in your home, putting on a blanket, and/or snuggling with a pet or another person.
If you’re too hot, you can try putting on cooler clothes, turning on a fan, or turning up the AC in your house.
7 – Are your surroundings dirty or smelly?
It’s hard to feel okay in an environment that is unfriendly for whatever reason. If your surroundings aren’t clean, set a timer for five minutes and take care of the biggest problems, like leftover food, pet messes, or dirty clothes.
Chores can be scary and exhausting, but that’s not what we’re doing here. We’re just taking a little five-minute clean up to make ourselves and our homes happier!
8 – Do you feel unsafe because of the people, or lack of people, in your surroundings?
If you can, try to remove yourself from situations that are overwhelming or feel unsafe. If you can’t relocate entirely, take frequent breaks, or tune out with headphones.
9 – Does your body feel uncomfortable, sweaty, or dirty?
If you have the energy and ability to take a shower, it may be a good idea. If you are unable to take a shower, here are some things to do instead: ⁃ Wash your face ⁃ Put on lotion ⁃ Change your clothes ⁃ Use dry shampoo ⁃ Whatever physical self-care activity you like best!
10 – Do you know why you’re in a bad mood, or not feeling well emotionally?
(Remember, any answer is okay!) If there’s something on your mind, we’re going to do our best to take care of it.
11 – If there is something in your mind, set a timer for 15 minutes, and work on a solution.
If it’s something you can change, then great! If not, do your best to reach out to someone and talk about it.
12 – Remember, 15 minutes and only 15!
You can go back to whatever it is after we’re done working through this together. We’re just taking baby steps in the right direction.
13 – Sometimes, we don’t know the source of our bad feelings, and that’s okay.
14 – Do you feel anxious, nervous, keyed-up, paranoid, scared, or on edge?
If you’re generally anxious but don’t know why, that’s okay!
If you’re feeling anxious about something specific. That’s okay! Set a timer for 15 minutes and do something to take care of that worry. Maybe chip away at a task that seems insurmountable. You can do it!
15 – Here are some ideas for grounding activities:
⁃ Take deep, calm breaths. ⁃ Notice and list things in your surroundings. ⁃ Expose yourself to strong, pleasant sensations, like a pleasing smell or a favorite blanket. ⁃ Say out loud your name, your age, the date, and your location. List some things you’ve done today, or are going to do. ⁃ Splash water on your face or run your hands under the faucet. ⁃ Do a body scan meditation, or pay close attention to each of your body parts one by one. ⁃ Make tea. Feel the warmth of it in your hands, and the taste as you sip it calmly. ⁃ Listen to music. ⁃ Play a categories game, and name some types of dogs, or clothing items, or gemstones, or countries, or anything else you can think of. ⁃ Write in your journal. ⁃ Take a mindful walk, either inside or outside. Pay close attention to your body and your surroundings. ⁃ Squiggle. Wiggle around. Dance. Stretch. Be silly and active for a few minutes. ⁃ Any other favorite grounding technique you’ve heard of or can think of. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting!
16 – Do you feel triggered? Are you having flashbacks? Is something traumatic or upsetting from the past weighing on your mind? Did you have a vivid nightmare?
If you’re feeling triggered, see if there’s a practical action you can take to lessen your distress. Can you block that unsafe person from your Facebook, for example?
If not, reach out and tell someone safe how you’re feeling. Just express yourself! Human contact works wonders when you’re not feeling well emotionally.
Remember that you’re here in the present, and nothing from your past can hurt you. If you like, you may want to try some grounding exercises to reinforce that idea.
17 – Are you feeling dissociated, depersonalized, or derealized? Do you feel far away, foggy, or unreal? Are you not sure who you are?
Go back to number 6 and try the grounding activities.
18 – Are you feeling depressed, sad, or upset?
Feeling depressed isn’t fun, but it doesn’t last forever! Don’t be mad or disappointed with yourself for feeling depressed.
Take 15 minutes and accomplish something small, like loading the dishwasher or making a friendship bracelet. You are not a failure, and your situation is not hopeless! You are a superhero, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
19 – Are you feeling lonely?
Everybody feels lonely sometimes. If you’re feeling lonely, there’s ways to reach out to people!
You can talk to someone in your house, or call someone on the phone. You can also use texting or Facebook messenger to speak to someone. You may want to talk about how you’re feeling, or you may not. Anything you want to talk about is okay!
If that isn’t or doesn’t seem possible, you can post a general message on Facebook, Tumblr, Vent, or another internet service, about whatever you want!
20 – Are you feeling foggy?
If you are feeling foggy, you might need some exercise.
21 – Do you have the energy and ability to go for a walk?
If you can’t take a walk, that’s okay!
Here are some alternatives: ⁃ Jumping jacks ⁃ Bouncing on the bed ⁃ Dancing ⁃ Push ups or sit ups, if you like doing them ⁃ Walking up and down the stairs ⁃ Yoga ⁃ Wiggling, squirming, jiggling around; being silly and active and having fun!
If none of those are or seem possible, just sit outside for some fresh air!
22 – Do you have pets at home?
Playing with pets can be a great way to take the edge off when you’re not feeling well. It doesn’t matter what kind of pet you have, just take some time to interact with them. Pet your cat, take your dog outside, feed your fish, hug your lizard…
23 – Take half an hour and do whatever you want to do right now.
This can be anything: crafts, watching TV, laying on the couch, taking a walk, playing Farmville… your choices are literally endless!
Obviously, don’t do anything that’s bad for you, like feeding addictions or harming yourself or others
24 – It’s time to reassess.
Maybe now that you’ve done all this self care, you feel better– great! Maybe you don’t, and that’s okay too. But hopefully you’ve cleared things up and you know what to do next to take care of yourself.
You deserve self care, so even if it’s hard, do your best!
I know what you are meaning but I can’t remember the exact term for it, but I think what you mean is activist exhaustion. It’s happening to quite a few people right now, especially this year, and little wonder considering all that is going on.
It sometimes feels like everything is a fight at the moment, which is why it’s important to stay active and woke, but to also take time for yourself and just try to shut your brain off for a while. Like I’m doing right now by watching reality tv and zoning out cause otherwise I’ll just start screaming at the thought of all the things I have to do tomorrow so instead I’m sitting here watching a bunch of idiots freeze their asses off in the middle of nowhere Canada dressed as pioneer settlers.
I often hear the word “slacktavist” thrown around the describe people who share things on social media outlets, but honestly I hate that term. Not everyone has the mental or physical capacity to volunteer and be boots on the ground when it comes to activism.
And that’s okay.
A lot of posts going round demanding people do XYZ to save the country/world or they are Bad People, tend to be incredibly ableist and neurotypical in their expectation and wording. Not all of us can do these things, not all of us are able to be physically present at rallies or give up time and energy for hours on end, either due to physical limitations or otherwise. But what they can do that day is reblog something or share something on facebook or retweet it and perhaps spread a message a little farther than it might haven gotten without them. And sometimes maybe you don’t want to reblog that post, sometimes the wording on it is guilt tripping, or maybe right there in that moment you don’t have the mental capacity to deal with making sure the post is a) accurate b) informative and c) offers valid resources.
The amount of stuff I get tagged in on a daily basis to signal boost? I spend time researching them before boosting them, and about a third of them turn out to be misinformed or just downright fake. Now I could just blindly reblog them and hope for the best, but honestly, that’s just one way to further stoke the fear, panic and feeling of being overwhelmed that so many people are feeling right now. So I take my time and try to vet things. Some days I don’t have the energy for that, and those are the days when you’ll see no signal boosting from me, but several fandom ramblings in quick succession. Because I am taking that day to self care and ensure that when the time comes, I’m not completely worn out and worthless for the big fights.
You need to do what you can do. Sometimes you will do more than you thought you ever could and you will be part of what saves the world.
Sometimes you’re gonna watch that same cat gif on a loop for five hours. The two things are not mutually exclusive.
Pace yourself and accept your limitations do not make you a bad person, they merely mean you are involved in other ways that enable you to take part.
And just as you learn about the world and your place in it by observing and interacting with other people, other people learn about the world and their place in it by observing and interacting with you. Remember, you are also a mirror in which other people see themselves reflected.
When you say vile, hateful things about your own fat body, you are reflecting and reinforcing the vile, hateful things that our society thinks and feels about fat bodies. And that is not okay.
Expressing self-directed fat-hatred is harmful to others, especially fat people. And especially children. Don’t do it.
There are a number of people in the notes of this post who are angry about what I have written. They feel that my words are victim-blaming and especially harmful for the neurodivergent and mentally ill people who can suffer the most from internalized fat phobia. These reactions are valid.
I want to share that I am also a fat person with mental illness who struggles every day with internalized fat phobia. I have lived this struggle for 25 years and my perspective is based on my lived experiences.
Neurodivergent and mentally ill fat people suffer the most when we are exposed to other people’s internalized fat phobia. We can suffer intense anxiety and pain when other people express self-directed fat-phobia to us, especially if they have not given us a warning or asked if we are willing or able to provide emotional support at that time. We need to be protected from other people’s fat phobia, internalized or otherwise, most of all.
So this post is urging everyone in the fat community – and across the weight spectrum – to think about the effects their words can have on others before they speak. We all need to take care of one another if we are going to survive.
It’s a tough question to answer, Anon, and kind of requires a lot of discussion, but I think the most important thing to remember is that you are not personally required to defend all things to all people at all times. Even if you are from a group that needs defending and are by necessity forced to defend yourself, you are allowed to defend only yourself on occasion, and you are allowed to withdraw and take breaks.
Traction takes time. And we will lose a lot of the small fights because they have all the power and money on their side. The trick is accepting a loss without accepting its inevitability – allowing yourself to say “okay, we lost that one, here’s how we can work to soften the blow, here’s how we can fight so we don’t lose the next one”. And to put faith in the people who are fighting, to hear their stories and draw inspiration from their fight, whether or not they won.
There’s a lot of debate in many circles over the definition of self-care, but this is one of them: when you feel burnout coming on, you have the right to withdraw, to look after yourself for a while, to take a break so that you can return refreshed. If a loss knocks you back, take the time to acknowledge the loss and the knock, let your bruises heal a little, and then jump back in so someone else can tap out. That’s why we organize in groups: so that someone is covering our six when we need it, and we can have someone else’s six when they do.
So your job is to do what you can, to know the signs you’re burning out however those manifest for you (fatigue, anxiety, issues with work/life balance, too many unwashed dishes in the sink, whatever and however it shows for you) and to know what will refresh you – taking a day to rest, buying yourself something small that you normally wouldn’t, spending time with friends, a vacation, whatever.
It is okay to turn off the news and to blacklist things that will upset you for a few days. It’s okay to say “I can’t talk about this” and walk away sometimes.
This is a marathon, not a sprint, which is a tired saying but true. Sprinters run fast and steady and don’t stop because they can’t, because the goal’s in sight. Marathoners can’t see the finish line, and can’t possibly run their fastest the whole way, because they’d drop from exhaustion before they reached it. So they pace themselves, they eat along the way, they walk it off if they get a cramp. Know when to walk it off for a while.
It’s normal to be anxious in the situation we’re in, but we have to learn to manage it somehow. Uneasy sleep makes for tired people who aren’t going to help as much as they could – so you have to find a way to take all the anger and fear and put it away so that you can rest. How you do that is a matter of trial and error; try things until something works. And if you have a few sleepless nights, well, that’s a sign you need to take some time.
Nobody will die because you, yourself, personally and alone, took a day off. We are all responsible for each other precisely so that nobody bears that burden alone. And the fight will be stronger tomorrow because you took a nap today. 🙂
There's a Mirror on the Wall 