On the subject of “The Muse,” and with the caveat that I haven’t seen much of the last three seasons and am obviously not up to them yet in my rewatching, I just want it noted that I will live and die for the Odo/Lwaxana ship.
She is herself and always herself, but she responds to Odo’s seriousness with her own gravity. She is REAL for him in a way she is for no one else. In three meetings, Odo knows her better than Picard ever did (not that Picard would mind – he didn’t want to be pursued).
And she makes him PLAYFUL. As said, I don’t know where the Odo/Kira relationship goes, but is there anything better than Odo and Lwaxana playing hide and seek in his quarters? He becomes humanoid with this jauntiness that you only really see from him when he’s caught Quark at something. And when she falls asleep on him after saying she hasn’t slept well in days he just makes his arms into a pillow and blanket.
What he says when he’s convincing her husband that he loves her. Lwaxana saw his differences and wasn’t put off by them and didn’t act like they weren’t there. She saw his differences and wanted to know more about them. Finding the Founders showed him that there was more to being a shapeshifter than being liquid in a bucket every 16 hours, but it’s Lwaxana who teaches him FUN.
He’s not physically attracted to her (but is he to Kira? I don’t think so). But when he asks her to stay, it’s because he wants to take care of her and talk to her and play with her. And damn me if that isn’t him being in love with her.
(And my god, I want Odo helping to raise small boy fic.)
Tag: odo
if you’re still interested in prompts/requests: garak catching julian in his clothes bc he and garak are almost the same height but julian is such a lanky thing n it would be ten shades of adorable
YES PLEASE.
A Piece Of Comfort
Six months away from the station, and his dear doctor, proved to be more difficult for Garak than he initially presumed it would be. He was grateful, though, that it was only six months. Given that he’d killed a number of Starfleet personnel on Empok Nor, it could have been for far longer. Having a chemical component mixed in with the violence helped shorten his stint. Pleading guilty hadn’t hurt matters either.
Garak returned to the station during the late night hours. He was greeted by Odo, who seemed happy to see him, though there was something mixed in his expression that could have doubled as concern. Garak doubted Odo held such an emotion for him, regardless of their past together.
“Doctor Bashir started sleeping in your quarters while you were gone,” Odo said. That explained the concern. Garak offered a soft smile.
“I imagine he was quite lonely,” Garak said, “We do spend quite a lot of time together when I’m on the station, Constable.”
Odo grunted in response. He knew. Likely, he knew far more than Julian would ever be comfortable with him knowing. Garak hardly kept their relationship, or any matters involving their relationship, a secret from the Constable’s prying eyes. Garak rightfully suspected that the Constable was both curious and watchful for the sake of the entire senior staff. They wanted the good doctor to be safe. So did Garak. He hardly blamed them for their rather poor attempts at spying. He simply ignored them and allowed their prying to continue. Given his absence, Odo likely continued to observe his quarters on a regular basis to ensure no one entered and took to thievery while he was away. No one but the good doctor, at least.
“I trust he’s been his usual optimistic self,” Garak said as they walked to his quarters.
Odo grunted again. An affirmation this time. Garak sighed.
“There is far too little things that would alter that dear man’s optimism, I’m afraid.”
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing,” Odo answered. Garak mulled that over for a moment. His smile faded and then returned as contentment over the idea pressed against his heart.
“Perhaps you’re right.”
do you ever imagine if changelings are like cats, in the sense that if they can get into a container they will
like imagine if quark’s counting stock or some shit after hours and he puts down a large empty bottle, and turns his back on it for a second
of course he realises his mistake almost immediately and whips around, but odo’s already gotten in there in liquid form and goddamnit odo i was going to put watered down wine in that and charge double
I always thought it was interesting and a bit sad that Odo did not experience a traditional ‘childhood’. Could you write a ficlet in which someone has Odo take part in something that they enjoyed when they were young?
Yes, of course!
This probably isn’t what you had in mind, but I thought it would be adorable and I’m all for adorable.
Pink Petals
Odo spoke with Miles O’Brien about their canceled plans briefly.
“Keiko’s coming back to the station with Molly and Kirayoshi for a short visit and I want to do something with them.”
Odo didn’t mind. Although having those hours absent would be unusual, he was certain he would find some productive way to fill it. Likely, part of that time would involve watching Quark. He said so and it made Chief O’Brien smile just a little.
“I doubt Quark will give you a refund on the holosuite hours,” Odo said.
“Oh, I still plan on using them,” Chief O’Brien answered, “Thought I’d take the family on a picnic.”
“A picnic.” It was more of a statement than a question. In truth, Odo hadn’t meant anything by it. It was needed more for clarification than anything else.
“Is there something wrong with that?” O’Brien asked. He didn’t sound offended but his shoulders did stiffen.
“No,” Odo answered, “I’m just unfamiliar with the term.”
“A picnic’s where you go outside and eat on a blanket, usually. Keiko used to go on picnics all the time with her family as a kid. I bought a holosuite program with scenery that matches a certain time of year in Japan. She used to go to the cherry blossom festival as a kid. It’s when the trees are blossoming. It’s a sign of spring. Those trees made her want to become a botanist. She hasn’t seen them in years, though. I thought Keiko would like it.”
“I’m sure she will.”
Miles seemed to relax after that. Their conversation continued for a couple more minutes before the Chief left. Odo didn’t think much of it.
The next day – one day before their canceled holosuite hours – Odo was sitting in his office when Keiko walked through the door. She was smiling one of her polite “I’d like to invite you somewhere” smiles. Odo regarded it with a sense of warmth. They passed pleasantries before Keiko finally let him in on what that smile was for.
“Miles told me you didn’t know what a picnic was. Have you never been on a picnic before?”
“No.”
“Oh, then you have to come with us.”
“I’d hate to intrude.”
“I insist! Miles said it’s alright and I’m sure the kids would love to see you. If you’re that worried about being the only one outside the family there, we can always invite Julian. I’m sure he’d love to join us.”
Odo knew there was no getting out of it. Even the “I don’t eat” excuse wasn’t going to work. So, he agreed, and Keiko’s smile widened. They talked for a little longer before Keiko left.
The next day, Odo arrived at Quark’s a few minutes before the holosuite reservation. Quark wasn’t surprised to see him. Neither was Julian, who was waiting by the bar for them to show up, no doubt. Julian greeted him with a polite, kind smile. A norm for the doctor, no matter who was moving to greet him. A constant, friendly face.
“Afternoon, Constable,” he said, “Ready for the picnic?”
“I suppose,” Odo answered, “Though I’m not sure what I’ll be there to do, since I don’t eat.”
“I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
Honest enough. They made idle chatter about station gossip before the O’Briens arrived with a large basket, a blanket, and the holosuite program. They said “hi” to Quark before they all moved up to holosuite two for their reservation. Miles put in the program. The holosuite doors opened. The family moved in first and then Julian followed with Odo coming in last.
The program was beautiful. The trees that Chief O’Brien had mentioned were petaled with pink flowers which started to sprinkle onto the grass, which was barren of all other people. Odo watched the petals twist and dance under the ocean sky and land with grace onto the wind brushed blades of green. His eyes wandered to Molly who began to gather some of the pink shards in her small hands. Nearby, Miles unfurled the blanket and laid it out. It’d fit twelve. Far too big for their small group. That, likely, didn’t matter to them.
“It’s not quite the same,” Odo heard Keiko say as she stared at the trees, “But it’s really close.”
“It’s the best program I could find,” Miles answered.
“And it’s wonderful, even if it’s not perfect. Thank you.”
They shared a kiss. Odo flicked his gaze from them to Molly again. Julian had started to help Molly collect the petals. She wanted more than her little hands could carry so Julian cupped his together in a small bowl and watched Molly place more inside. Even the doctor’s hands weren’t large enough, though. Some of the petals began to slip free and land in the grass with little effort. Odo walked over, knelt down, and formed his hands into a large bowl without a word. Petals were transferred to his care. Molly added more. Julian only watched.
“Molly, honey, come eat,” Keiko called. Molly looked at the collection of petals before looking up at Odo.
“I’ll keep them safe,” Odo said. He smiled. Molly smiled in return before running to the blanket. Odo glanced over at Julian. They exchanged smiles before joining the O’Brien family. Everyone else started to eat except for Odo, who let his hands remain in that bowl form, with the petals still inside. Some drifted from the trees above and joined their captured companions.
“I used to collect the petals too,” Keiko said, “I thought I could keep them from dying if I took them home and put them in water.”
“It didn’t work, did it?” Julian asked.
“No,” Keiko said, “I cried every time. Hopefully that’s not what happens to Molly.”
“If it is, we can always bring her back,” Miles said, “I’ll always have the program.”
“That’s true,” Keiko said.
Light chatter continued. Odo interjected small bits of conversation but mostly observed the family unit, the smiles, the laughter. Once she was done eating, Molly took to collecting petals again. Odo let his hands expand into a larger and larger bowl as her collecting progressed. The two hours went by quickly. Odo knew Quark would be coming in within the next few minutes. However, it was Julian who warned everyone of the Ferengi’s near approach.
“We’ll have to pack up before Quark shows,” Julian said.
Molly didn’t stop her collecting as the basket, the dishes, and the blanket were stored and secured in Julian and Keiko’s arms.
“Okay, Molly,” Keiko said, “We have to go. The petals have to stay here.”
Molly stopped then and looked at her collection. Odo could feel the weight then. It wasn’t unbearable by any means but there was no way any human could carry this many petals without them slipping through their fingers. He hadn’t bothered to count but he wished that he had. Next time, then. If there was ever a next time.
“But I wanna take them,” Molly said.
“No, they stay,” Keiko said, “We can come back tomorrow and see them again.”
“Okay,” Molly said. There was a disappointment there, though. Odo looked at the petals and then back at Molly. He considered his next move. Then he extended the bowl slowly above her head and let holes form. The petals showered down on her. She smiled and put her hands up. Pink pooled against her fingers and her face before sifting away and drifting to cover the grass. He smiled as the last of the petals drifted to the ground. He pulled his hands to him again and let them form into the familiar shape he was used to. Molly floundered in the petal pile before leaping away and running to Miles.
“Daddy, Odo made it rain,” she said.
“I saw,” Miles answered, “You be sure to thank him for that.”
She turned and looked at Odo. Odo made eye contact with her as he stood.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered with a smile.
They left the holosuite. All traces of the pink petals disappeared from their clothing. A shame. But Odo didn’t really mind. While the images couldn’t stay, the memories always would.
[It’s interesting, in retrospect, the similarities between Bashir and Odo’s predicaments after “Broken Link”; both of them had had their bodies, and therefore their identities, radically altered by people close to them without their consent. I understand that no one knew Bashir was genetically enhanced yet, but it would have been an great connection to explore. ]
If you’re still taking prompts can you write some damsel in distress julian with garak (and maybe odo) saving him?
Damsel in distress Julian, omg. I. Just. Love. DiD!Julian.
Programming Glitch
“Computer, locate Doctor Bashir.”
“Doctor Bashir is in holosuite two.”
Garak sighed. Of course. There was a station wide electronics issue hooked directly to the holosuite and his dear Doctor Bashir is stuck inside one of them. They already couldn’t turn off the holosuites, no they had a more pressing issue to deal with. No doubt his new program was partially to blame for the whole fiasco.
The good doctor had kept his new holosuite adventure a secret, much like he did with the secret agent program months ago. Only, this wasn’t the secret agent program. Julian had asked for a new costume – something regal, refined. Garak was delighted to make such a thing for him, and was even more delighted to see it on him. He was curious as to what story would call for such a wondrous outfit, but Garak decided to bring up the matter with Quark, not Julian. One quick peek during the late night hours would quell his curiosity.
Now, though, Garak regretted the delay.
“It’s not like last time,” Chief O’Brien said. Garak’s gaze flicked up to him. “There’s no one else trapped in there with him. We could send a couple people in there and fish him out.”
“That’s assuming we can get in at all,” Jadzia said.
“Oh, it is quite possible to break into the holosuites no matter what state of ill-repair they’re in,” Garak said. Eyes flicked to him almost at once. Six pairs of them, to be exact. Some where wide open and others harbored no shock or disbelief.
“And I’m assuming you’ve tested that,” Constable Odo said.
“Oh, hardly,” Garak answered, “But they are not the most secure rooms on this station. It would be quite easy to slip inside one, given that you have the right security access, of course.”
“And you have access?” Captain Sisko asked.
“Of course. But even if I didn’t, Constable Odo certainly does. I believe Quark has asked him to use his access codes on a number of occasions. Is this not true?”
“It is,” Odo said.
“Alright,” Sisko said, “Let’s try to open holosuite two. Chief, Constable, Mr. Garak, I’ll leave it up to you to get in there and get him. Dax, I want you to go down to Quark’s as well. If there’s anyone else in those holosuites, I want to know and I want them out.”
I just read the report that you wrote and I wanted to thank you. Me? For what? For not mentioning my desire to return to my people. I consider the entire conversation as something best forgotten.
Star Trek: DS9: AU NOS
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
AU: NOS
Word Count: 1420 (6350)Characters: Julian Bashir, Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax, Odo, Nadya Gennel
Warnings: Choose Not to Warn
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | more to come
The exchange is set, and Kira talks to Julian, though it doesn’t help her figure out what she’s feeling.
Kira paces the strip of floor around the center console of Ops, waiting for for a message from either the Council of Ministers or from the Cardassian ship that still hangs in space a few hundred kilometers off the station. She hates feeling helpless, knowing she’s done all she can, and all there is left is waiting. It had been a horrible feeling in the Resistance, and it’s worse now, when she doesn’t even have the knowledge that at the end of the waiting, there will be a concrete action.
“Incoming transmission, Major.” Dax smiles at Kira briefly, an attempt to relieve the tension that’s been building in Ops all shift. “The Prakesh, Gul Gennel would like to speak to you.”
Star Trek: DS9: AU NOS
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
AU: NOS
Word Count: 1420 (7763)
Characters: Julian Bashir, Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax, Odo, Nadya Gennel
Warnings: Choose Not to Warn
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | more to come
The exchange is set, and Kira talks to Julian, though it doesn’t help her figure out what she’s feeling.
Kira paces the strip of floor around the center console of Ops, waiting for for a message from either the Council of Ministers or from the Cardassian ship that still hangs in space a few hundred kilometers off the station. She hates feeling helpless, knowing she’s done all she can, and all there is left is waiting. It had been a horrible feeling in the Resistance, and it’s worse now, when she doesn’t even have the knowledge that at the end of the waiting, there will be a concrete action.
“Incoming transmission, Major.” Dax smiles at Kira briefly, an attempt to relieve the tension that’s been building in Ops all shift. “The Prakesh, Gul Gennel would like to speak to you.”
“Put it on the main screen.” Kira draws a deep breath, turning to face the primary view screen, as pleasant a smile as she can summon on her face. “Gul Gennel.”
“Major Kira.” Gennel tilts her head slightly, a lightness around her eyes that is as close as she gets to smiling. “Central Command has agreed to the modified conditions of exchange requested by the Bajoran ministers, and the Rabol is en-route with three passengers. I expect it to arrive in three days. I trust you will have made arrangements for their safety before they arrive.”
“Of course.” Kira isn’t certain she’s comfortable with the return of a collaborator, but if Tua – Julian – is telling the truth, she will do what she can to protect Tora Naprem. If only for the sake of her daughter, who shouldn’t suffer for the sins of her parents. “I will see to it personally.”
“Thank you.” Gennel nods again before she cuts communication, leaving Kira with something to do again. Anything to keep her distracted.
The next three days pass in a blur of making security arrangements for the Tora family, and for those who will come to the station to greet Shakaar on his return. Keeping her busy enough that she can avoid going to the holding cells, if not busy enough to keep her from thinking about Tu–Julian and his insistence that he’d never betrayed them.
Together or not at all.
What did that even mean, when he was a Cardassian-raised spy, who would leave the station for Cardassia as soon as he was allowed to? Certainly she wouldn’t leave Bajor, or the station, and he couldn’t stay here.
The last evening before the transport is supposed to arrive, Kira takes a deep breath, and makes herself go down to the security office. Odo watches her for a long moment, before nodding her through to the holding cells. Giving her the privacy to talking to Julian alone.
“Nerys.” His voice is no different than the one she’s spent years waking up to hearing, reassuring her even when she doesn’t want it to. How can she still trust him, learning even the secrets she has learned, much less those he’s still hiding?
“The transport with Shakaar and the Tora family will arrive tomorrow morning. I’ve arranged for the ward room to be available if Shakaar wants to talk to you.” Kira clasps her hands behind her to keep from fidgeting, watching Julian from halfway across the room. She’s not sure she trusts herself to get close.
“Excellent.” Julian smiles, and it’s the same warm smile that Tua had when the Cardassian withdrawal had been announced. He could have left then, could have found a way to leave her behind and go back to Cardassia with the rest of his people.
“Why did you stay?” She’s not sure what she’s going to say until the words are out of her mouth. “Why didn’t you try to sneak away and return to Cardassia after the Occupation ended?”
“I already told you why.” Julian tilts his head rather than shrugging as he might have when he was Tua. Mannerisms returning to the Cardassian ones he’d grown up with instead of the Bajoran ones he’d had to use while he was Tua. “Yes, I could have left. Garak knew who I was – he was the interrogator that day, if you remember – and even exiled, he has the contacts and skills to ensure I was safely returned to Cardassia.”
“So why didn’t you?” Kira holds up a hand before he can reply. “Don’t tell me the words, tell me why.”
“I didn’t know what would happen to you.”
“Me? I would have been fine.” Kira spreads her arms, a gesture both showing off what Julian already knows, and encompassing the station around them. “I don’t think your leaving would have changed any of this.”
“If the militia realized you’d been fooled into thinking a Cardassian agent was a Bajoran? When everyone else who’d been fooled was missing or dead?” Julian gives her a look full of mixed amusement and disappointment. “I doubt they would have been so forgiving as they are now, when so many more people have believed and trusted what they thought I was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kira finds that hurts more than knowing he kept the secret from everyone else for longer than he had to. She’d have been furious to find out, she knows that – she still is angry about it, learning now – but perhaps as much because Julian didn’t trust her enough to tell her.
“What would you have done with the knowledge, Nerys? What good would it have done for you to know I was raised and trained by the Obsidian Order, that I chose to be as Cardassian as was possible, when you would have had to keep that secret or destroy your own future?” Julian holds her gaze steadily, a softness around his eyes that contrasts with the sharpness of his words. “I know you’d rather have had the choice, but I’m afraid I’m a selfish man who has no desire to expose you to more harm than I must.”
“Is that you, or is that something you learned from the Cardassians?” Kira can’t help the small smile that makes her eyes crinkle at the corners, even though she’s not sure she should be so amused at Julian’s blunt assessment of his own character.
“Perhaps a little of both.” Julian’s smile in return of hers is warm as summer sun. “I was never very good at stepping back from those I call family, not even if it were in the interests of the State. Not you, not Garak, not Gennel.”
“But you are doing that. Going back to Cardassia, to being part of the Obsidian Order, to serving the Cardassian Empire. The State.” The moment of warmth is fleeting, and Kira clasps her hands behind her again, this time to keep from wrapping them around herself. “I can’t leave Bajor, even if wanted to go with you.”
Can’t keep the promise to stay together, whatever the universe threw at them. Kira doesn’t know why she wants to, and to hell with duty.
“I know.” Julian tilts his head slightly, though what he’s trying to convey is lost in translation. “I will return, eventually, though I don’t know how long it will be before I can. Or where I might go in the interim.”
“Do I watch for a human face, or a Cardassian one?” Kira hopes he’ll at least be gone long enough for her to sort out what she feels about all this without him being right there to distract her. It’ll be difficult enough knowing Garak is familiar enough with him to ask questions about what Julian had been like before he was Tua Bahri.
Julian glances down a moment before he looks at her. “I had no regrets about having a Bajoran nose while Tua, but I will admit to looking forward to having scales and ridges again. I hope it won’t be too unsettling.”
Seeing his face in Cardassian gray, with the ridges and scales that she had known all her life to belong to an enemy, is something Kira can’t quite imagine, even though she had asked. She doesn’t know how she’ll feel, if she sees him again. When. When she sees him again.
“We’ll see.” Kira isn’t sure what else to say, and she watches Julian for a long moment before she turns away.
“Will you be the one to escort me tomorrow, if Shakaar is willing to speak with me?”
Looking over her shoulder at Julian, Kira takes a moment to think before she speaks. “If he wants to talk to you, I’ll take you to him.”
Star Trek: DS9: AU NOS
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
AU: NOS
Word Count: 1973 (6343)
Characters: Julian Bashir, Nadya Gennel, Benjamin Sisko, Kira Nerys
Warnings: Choose Not to Warn
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | more to come
Nadya comes to Deep Space Nine to retrieve her son, with the backing of Central Command and an offer to entice the Bajorans to release Julian.
“You can release Bashir and return him to Cardassia, or you can reap the rewards of unlawfully holding a Cardassian citizen.” Nadya meets Commander Sisko’s gaze steadily, her Gul’s uniform reminding him she is more than some simple operative, and reminding her that she is not allowed to extract Julian in whatever manner she sees fit.
“It’s not that simple, Gul Gennel. The Bajoran government has questions about Bashir’s activities on Bajor during the Occupation, and the Federation still has questions about the deaths of his parents and his disappearance that have never been answered.”
Nadya refrains from smiling, though she would like to show the pride she has in Julian. The first lies he told her, and well-executed, though it is uncertain exactly where the lie is.
“Bashir’s parents were visited by Federation security, and Bashir fled to the home I occupied at the time. I arranged for his safe passage to Cardassia as a political refugee. Anything further is classified, and no concern of the Federation.”
Let her support of the story he told her, the lies, be her show of pride.
“That still leaves many questions unanswered, Gul Gennel.” Sisko’s smile is cold and hard as any unhappy Cardassian’s, and Nadya tilts her head slightly in acknowledgement of his anger. “Including what he was doing on Bajor during the Occupation.”
“I’m certain that Major Kira has given her government reports on her activities during the years she was with Bashir.”
“The man she knew as Tua Bahri, yes. I’m sure the Bajoran government will want to know more than that.”
“They can want to know all they like, and unless I am given instructions by Central Command, all they may know is that the mission is and will remain classified.” She pauses, turning over her ace in her mind, feeling the edges of the truth and the bait. “I am, however, authorized to arrange the exchange of Shakaar Edon for Bashir, provided that he is not questioned further on his activities by either the Bajoran government or agents of the Federation or Starfleet.”
“I cannot promise anything, though I will convey your offer to the Bajoran Council of Ministers.” Sisko nods to the door of his office. “I can have Major Kira show you to quarters on board the station, if you would like, or you may await any response to your offer on board your ship.”
“Actually, I would like to see Bashir. To ensure his continued good health.” To see her son, though he once more wears the face his human parents had given him. It will be corrected soon enough.
Sisko is silent a moment before he nods. “You won’t be allowed to speak to him without a security officer present.”
“I would expect nothing else.” Nadya turns to the door, meeting the gaze of Kira through it, the Bajoran scowling at her for a long moment before turning away. “Shall I ask Major Kira to escort me?”
Sisko doesn’t give her the chance, doing so himself, and Nadya is surprised when Kira agrees to do so. Though perhaps she should not be – Kira had spend five years with Julian, no matter that she knew him by a different name.
“Was he supposed to find the Resistance and betray us?” Kira doesn’t look at Nadya as she asks the question, staring instead at the passing wall of the lift. Her hands clenched in fists, all but radiating hurt and anger.
“I’m afraid the particulars of Bashir’s missions are all classified, and likely beyond your authority even to request, Major.” Nadya tilts her head to underline her sincere regret at being unable to relieve Kira of even the least of her concerns. Perhaps after Nadya has seen Julian – has seen how Julian reacts to Kira – she might have some kind words for her.
The shapeshifter is in the security office, and he watches her for a long moment, expression unreadable, before he nods graciously, allowing Kira to take Nadya into the holding area, where Julian is sitting on a bed in one cell, watching the door intently.
His gaze lights on Kira first, a warmth easing the tightness around his eyes and mouth. A smile that he isn’t quite willing to let be obvious, that Nadya hasn’t seen since he’d returned from his training with Garak. Too quickly smothered, in the light of a new mission.
It fades a little once Julian sees her, amusement and a faint puzzlement changing the light in his eyes. “I see they’ve made you a Gul, mother.”
Nadya can see Kira startle out of the corner of her eye, and she lets herself smile at both Julian’s open acknowledgement of their chosen relationship and Kira’s reaction to that information. “You would have known that if you’d come home.”
She comes as close as she can to the force field that hums between them, Julian standing to do the same on the other side. Studying him for a long moment before she speaks again, knowing that Kira will be listening to every word.
“They’re willing to trade Shakaar for you, instead of leaving to your fate.” Even without Nadya’s influence, since it had come from Central Command directly, rather than from the Order. “What are you still holding over them?”
“Not them.” Julian smiles, bright and sharp and vicious. “Dukat.”
The name is spat like a curse, and Nadya raises an eye-ridge. Julian hasn’t shown such vehement dislike of anyone since she’d escorted him off Earth, and he’d last spoken of the humans who had once been his parents. Always so willing to make friends, if as easily discarding most of them, and invariably kind and courteous even up to a person’s execution for their crimes.
“What about Dukat?” Kira is just out of arm’s reach, watching Julian with a wary frown. “I thought he was popular among Cardassians.”
“He is the son of a traitor, and he has the same weakness of character.” Julian’s eyes are cold as a winter night, full of rage. “No loyalty to his family. To either of his families.”
Nadya stiffens slightly. To dally with Bajoran women is one thing – a foolish indiscretion for a married Cardassian, and distasteful, but not truly unexpected. To create a family with one is entirely a different matter, especially a man like Dukat, married properly and with a family on Cardassia to provide for.
“What family?” Kira takes a half step closer, and Nadya politely steps sideways, letting Kira have room to be comfortable.
“A Bajoran woman, with a daughter. I was tracking them when you broke me out of that labor camp.” Julian’s face warms a little, his eyes fixed on Kira’s face.
Nadya turns her face slightly away, the movement drawing Julian’s gaze long enough for her to narrow her eyes at him, warning him that he isn’t supposed to be discussing his mission here. Too many ears.
Julian is silent for a long moment, his expression carefully blank as he holds her gaze. A small tilt of his head acknowledges her rebuke, but there’s a hint of rebellion in his eyes.
“They were aboard the Ravinok, at the same time Shakaar was.”
Kira lets out a bitter bark of laughter. “And you told me you didn’t betray us.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t have to.” Julian shakes his head. “It’s not what I was trained for.” He pauses, his face softening again. “Together, or not at all. I wasn’t lying then, Nerys. Were you?”
Staring for a long moment, Kira gives Julian a pained smile. “I meant what I told Tua in that prison cell. I don’t know I could trust you not to turn on me now.”
Julian laughs, openly amused, and apparently uncaring just what he is showing either of them. How vulnerable he is making himself. “I have no reason to do that, Nerys.” He trails his fingers across the force field, the energy crackling against his fingertips. “Ask Garak about what Sisko wanted him to translate. If he’s figured it out.”
He pauses, tilting his head slightly as he watches Kira. “I would have done the same thing again, knowing it would reveal secrets I’ve kept for a long time, if it meant keeping you alive.”
The incident that had revealed Julian’s subterfuge to the Bajorans and to Starfleet, of which Nadya hasn’t heard more than the barest of details. An accident, with a fanatical Bajoran, that had left Julian badly injured. Nothing about why the attack had occurred, or who had been present.
Kira stares at Julian for a long moment before she turns abruptly, and stalks out of the room. Going no further than the security office, likely, but Nadya appreciates the chance to speak to Julian alone.
“You never were supposed to stay that long with the Bajorans, only to find out where the sympathizers were among our own.” Nadya keeps her voice low, standing as close as she can to the force field, so that she’s not picked up by any listening devices in the room. “Why did you stay with them?”
“They chose me.” Julian rests his palm in the air close to the force field, and Nadya raises hers to echo the gesture. She knows how much that choice to accept Julian as he is means to her son. How bitterly angry he was at his parents the first years he was safe on Cardassia. “They could have left me behind, but they didn’t.”
“They thought you were Bajoran, of course they wouldn’t have left you behind. We knew the Resistance would rescue any Bajoran they didn’t consider a collaborator.”
“Not just the rescue.” Julian closes his eyes a moment. “They could have rescued me, and then left me wherever I told them my home was. Could have left me idling about one camp or another, nothing more than an errand boy. Instead, they gave me a chance to be part of them – and in being part of them, finish what I had started.”
There had been coded reports after the raid on the labor camp where Julian was doing his work, using his Bajoran face to find those who would need to be removed among the guards. After he’d vanished into the Bajoran Resistance, and all but become a sympathizer himself.
“And your insistence that the Empire withdraw from Bajor?”
Julian opens his eyes, meeting her gaze easily, and with none of the guilt she’d expect of a traitor. “They would have fought until they found a way to bring the fight to Cardassia itself, and they would have torn the Empire apart with their bloodied hands if it won them their freedom. I don’t like leaving Bajor, but it is what is best for Cardassia, and that is all that matters.”
It is likely only that Central Command agrees with Julian that has kept them from sending her with orders to bring him home under arrest. Or worse, leave him to the mercy of the Bajorans or the Federation. Nadya doesn’t want to imagine what the Federation, particularly, would do, with their extreme views on genetic manipulation.
“I hope you are right.” Nadya wants to lean forward, to touch her forehead to his, no matter that he lacks chufa or ridges at the moment, his face strange without them. To reassure him that though she thinks his opinion is wrong, perhaps dangerous, she still sees him as her son.
“I am.” Julian steps back from the force field, sitting once more on the bed. “I want to stay until after Shakaar is returned. To speak to him, if he will allow it, before we return home.”
Nadya echoes him, stepping back before she tilts her head in acknowledgement of his wishes. She doesn’t know why he wants to stay, but she’ll give him what she can.
There's a Mirror on the Wall 