*tackle-hugs you* Thank you!
Tag: norcumi
Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP! Bathtub Fic and First Kiss, for either Star Wars or Stargate, please!
How about both?
They’ve lost track of how long they’ve been here, at least by a calender that might correspond to home. It’s been nearly three hundred years by the calendar thier captor had provided.
Oh, they’re technically allowed to go wherever they wish within the bounds of the small empire ruled over by their captor, but it’s nothing like they’re accustomed to. Tinier than the Republic they’d fought before the anomaly had thrown them to this place where the only even remotely familiar thing are the other Sith. Even they aren’t truly familiar – they share physiology, but nothing more.
Letting out a quiet sigh, Maul leans back in the large tub – overly ostentatious, like everything else in this galaxy, drowning them in luxury – and closes their eyes while they draw on the Force. Searching for something, anything to get them out of this frustrating place.
They’re jolted out of their meditation when the door to the room is hastily opened and shut again, the intruder visible for a moment before they dive to one side, hiding in the meager shelter of the screen that is supposed to be for a servant to be at their beck and call. The person is lucky Maul has no use for such a being, not when the servant would be ultimately loyal to their captor.
“Who are you?” They don’t bother with the strange vibrato that their captor and the other local Sith use, even though they can feel the tremors in the Force that tell them the intruder is a Sith. Or perhaps a Jedi, but they’ve yet to meet any such here.
“No one.” The voice is feminine, rough, and breathless with exertion. “Who are you?”
“A prisoner in a gilded cage.” They’ve rarely been subtle, before or after they were brought here. Stealthy, perhaps, but this is not a time to hide information. Not if the intruder is running from their captor, and has the potential to be an ally.
And I’m going to outline from here, because then I can post this, instead of it sitting here for who knows how long.
Maul’s captor is uncertain, beyond not Baal, because Baal would not be nearly so foolish as whoever has Maul in their hands. Ra or Apophis or Kronos (since he’s the one who sent the ashrak after Jolinar, if I remember correctly).
The jaffa chasing Jolinar do come looking in Maul’s rooms for her, after she’s come out from where she’s hiding and they’ve gotten at least out of the water, and something something, there’s a kiss in there, but first kiss is also probably last kiss, because they’re not interested in anything like that, and Jolinar is pretty much only interested in Lantash and whoever is hosting him (Martouf, at the moment).
There is escape, and Maul is not any more impressed by the tok’ra than they were by their System Lord captor, and just. All they want at this point is to get back to a familiar galaxy. They’ll even cooperate with whatever the Jedi want to prove that yes, damnit, they’re both in this willingly, because fuck this galaxy and its backwards wish-they-were-Sith.
(There is also possibly going “fuck this”, and them deciding to find a way to conquer the galaxy with the local tech, even if it’s not nearly up to their standards, and allying with Baal, because Baal is not an idiot, and everything canon in SG-1 is thrown out the window, because this is all before Earth finds Abydos and blows Ra and his ship up.)
Happy belated birthday, friendo! I’m sorry I didn’t catch you the day of *hugs* I hope you had a lovely one
Is still my birthday! You are not late. 🙂 *hugs you* I am having a pretty good birthday today. Puttering about and stuff. And chocolate cake. And nommy rice pot stuff. And many birthday wishes from people, and TWO fics I follow that are very very awesome updated today. Or near enough to today as makes no difference for my reading of the updates.
@deadcatwithaflamethrower @lacefedora @norcumi @queenkit @koiotchka @travellingwiththedead @jabberwockypie @elegantmess-southernbelle
I see your birthday wishes, and you are all awesome, and THANK YOU!
… And I did mention chocolate cake, and it is a costco chocolate cake and no I haven’t eaten the whole thing, but I may have eaten a bit more of it than I should have. Or maybe it’s just that several people have said happy birthday and it’s very awesome and I’m bouncing because look, people noticed it’s my birthday!
One more year survived. Another win. And there are people who have celebrated with me, even a little bit.
(Also, Saturday there will be noms at a restaurant I haven’t been to in a decade. I am looking forward to this. That may also be part of the being happy-excited.)
Edit: Make that three fics! *goes to read the latest chapter of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail*
Today’s next frustration: finding the answer to how far/fast can a boat go if it’s being rowed – not. sailed. – on a river?
Why is this frustrating? Because every damned answer I’m finding is assuming your damned boat has a fucking sail on it. No damned information on rowed boats – not even a modern racing row boat! – any-fucking-where. Possibly because I am missing some trick on searching for it, but given “how fast can a boat be rowed?” still fucking gets answers for sailed boats exclusively, I’m getting more than a little frustrated.
*takes a deep breath* I’m about to say fuck it, and make up an arbitrary answer that doesn’t seem ludicrously fast. Especially since I don’t have answers for the various factors to add in if I ever find an answer to a range of potential base speeds for rowing a boat.
And yes, I am aware that there are potentially a lot of factors to figuring out the speed, and if I could find even a suitable vague equation, that would be better than “well, here’s how fast a boat would sail under these conditions”.
(The best answer I found was in a forum thread on an RPG, which I couldn’t find the name of the game itself, and fuck if I know if they’ll have anything about their sources for determining speeds of things.)
lferion said: Try rowing or crew as a sport?
That did not come to mind, probably because it wasn’t where my brain was at for useful equations. But I will keep that in mind for if I’m trying to do more research on the subject. Thank you!
thebisexualmandalorian said: According to the wiki article, “Longer, narrower rowboats can reach 7 knots (13 km/h;8.1 mph) but most rowboats of 4.3 m (14 ft) can be rowed at 3–4 knots (5.6–7.4 km/h; 3.5–4.6 mph).”
Thank you!
That is indeed useful, and was not in any of the wiki articles I was finding. Which means definitely failed in finding the right question to ask google. Now I just need to do math with approximated current, and how long they’re on the river in a day to figure out if I can get them far enough in four days, or if I need to adjust the travel time, and thus my timeline.
brightclothesforwinter said: Oxbridge boat race covers 4.25 miles in 17-20 minutes, however this is on an incoming tide. (And obviously pro sportspeople in very fast boats)Speeds for Canadian canoe might be more comparable.
That’s probably both a faster sort of boat, as well as different conditions, but still a useful tidbit of information to keep around for reference, thank you! 🙂
misty-anne said: For canoes figure about 4mph. It can really vary with wind, and the speed of the water. I’ve been out on the river and had the wind blowing me up river when I stopped paddling.
Huh. That’s good to know, too, thank you! And considering these are the elvish boats in Lord of the Rings, that might well factor in too, ‘cause I can see them being blown along on a brisk breeze if it’s heading upriver. I think, though, if I run it four days on the water, plus one for portage around the rapids, I’m going to be good.
norcumi said: Blast, I could’ve SWORN I had a post usefully tagged with various travel times, but of course I can’t find it. ::offers cookies instead because at least those are somewhat useful::
*accepts cookies* I did find a thing with useful travel times for horses/walking, at least, in attempting to hunt down useful travel times for boats. I should link that here so I don’t lose it.
Another useful thing which only occurred to me when I found my atlas and started flipping through it looking for something for the next hurdle – there’s a chart in it on how long it took the Fellowship to get places, including on the river. Which, while it’s going downstream rather than upstream, gives me a good idea how far they need to travel, and how long it should take them. *facepalms* I forgot that was in there.
(For useful reference in general: forum thread where someone did research on how fast/far someone could travel on foot and with a horse in a day)
It’s so weird to think that there are people who watch Lord of the Rings for the first time????? And don’t know what’s going to happen?????
They don’t know what the Shire is??? They don’t know the Fellowship will break???? They don’t know what Gondor or Rohan is???? They don’t know the basic geography of Middle Earth?? They don’t know who will die??? They don’t know Gandalf will come back???? Or that Frodo will go to the Undying Lands??? They’ve never heard the soundtrack??? They don’t have the dialogue memorized????
What on earth is that like???????
Speaking from personal experience:
“This is a very long, very pretty movie. It’s kinda neat to see where the archtypes started. Not sure what to think of Broody McRanger. The halflings – HOBBITS, right – are amusing, I like them. John Rhys-Davies is awesome as always, I am really digging this competitive thing between him and the pretty, snarky elf. Wait, what do you mean there’s 2 more movies? Guys, I’m glad you dragged my Tolkien-ignorant self out to a brand new movie and a late night showing, but that was kinda weird how it’s new and you’re, like, reciting parts of it. I…guess this means I should read the book now?”
*1 week later*
“MOTHER OF GODS HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU DESCRIBE HOW FRIKKIN’ GREEN THE PRETTY GREEN TREES ARE I CAN SEE WHY IT WAS FILMED IN NEW ZEALAND AND WHY SO MUCH TIME WAS DEVOTED TO WALKING THROUGH THE GORGEOUS LANDSCAPE BUT SO HELP ME I AM GOING TO WATCH THE OTHER MOVIES INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH ONE MORE NESTED SET OF PEOPLE SINGING EPIC SONGS ABOUT THEIR ANCESTORS.”
I’m also a bit of a philistine.
#LOTR#and then for other reasons I have never seen more than the first movie#whuups?
I do like Tolkien, and I went into the movies knowing how things went, and I still didn’t read the books until after seeing the movies (abridged audio book, best thing ever, especially as a kid who could not get past the hobbits at the beginning without falling asleep).
And oh, dear gods, yes. The songs and everything are nice, but I ended up skipping them a lot (because brain), and I spent my entire one-and-only full read through of the book playing the soundtracks on repeat so I wouldn’t fall asleep.
Also, if I ever get enough spoons together to visit, I can bring the extended versions of the entire trilogy with me? I have all of them, and it’s about 12 hours of movie not counting intermissions. If you want, anyway.
Responses and Bedtime
jahaliel
replied to your post “Writing update and brain weasel related melt down/word vomit under the…”
*offers hugs and sends love*
norcumi
replied to your post “Writing update and brain weasel related melt down/word vomit under the…”
::offers hugs and plushies::
scrapdragonstudio
replied to your post “Writing update and brain weasel related melt down/word vomit under the…”
*hugs* *sends puppy breath*
*hugs you all back tightly* Thank you. 🙂
And now I am to bed, hopefully sleep will help at least some. And if nothing else, there is going to the doctor on Monday, and hopefully beginning to sort shit out.
Tolkien: Time and Valar: Warrior Son, Part 12
Still not out of Rivendell, probably won’t be through Rivendell for another 1k words or more, because they’re there a month, there’s more with bitty!Aragorn to do, there’s an ancient and snarky ass of a sword to transfer ownership of, and there’s research on dragons for Boromir to do.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | more to come
@deadcatwithaflamethrower @norcumi
“You will need supplies to get that far, and I do not know that I will be able to supply you enough, though I shall do as I can.” Elrond has a small frown of his own, a crease between his brows that makes Boromir silently wonder what troubles him. “Have you a map for your journey?”
Thorin hesitates, but nods. “We have a map of Erebor, at least, one which has been passed to me from my father.”
“A map which we could use your assistance with, just a little thing. Maps of this sort are known sometimes to have hidden writing, and I had hoped to gain your aid in finding any that might be present upon this map.” Gandalf smiles a moment, though whether he’s trying to appeal to Elrond or placate Thorin, Boromir cannot tell. Though he thinks it likely the former, for all the tension that is rising between Thorin and Gandalf.
“If you would have me look at the map, I will gladly offer my assistance.” Elrond directs his own words to both Thorin and Gandalf. “It will take some time to prepare what supplies I can provide you, enough to be certain if the map has any hidden text, and determine if it can be read.”
“If it can be read?” Thorin raises his eyebrows, and Boromir leans forward a little, curious himself why Elrond would not simply read the text if he might find it.
“There are some means of creating hidden writing that can only be read under certain conditions, and while they can be found to exist, and perhaps too what those conditions are, we may not be able to recreate them sufficiently precisely to render the writing readable. Or there may be a need to wait for a precise time.” Elrond picks up his goblet, taking a sip of wine. “I do not know how swiftly you wish to reach Erebor, and thus how much time you have to wait if it is needful, so I cannot know if I will be able to render any hidden text readable before you depart.”
“What aid you may render in this will be sufficient, even if all you may tell us is when and how it may be read.” Thorin nods in thanks, speaking before Gandalf can interject his own words into the conversation once more. “And you have my thanks for it.”
Before anything more can be said, there is a commotion at one of the tables where the rest of the company was sat, and a thump that makes Boromir turn to catch the beginning of Bofur singing, and see the first flung bit of food. He grins, taking another bite of his own food while he sits back to watch, mindful of not participating. Just another rowdy group, and while they might not be his soldiers, he can recall similar scenes with his men. Perhaps with less flung food – his men had always been too aware of the noble birth of their captain to dare do that in his company even when he’d convinced them he was as willing to sing the dirtiest songs as they were – but it reminds him of days and companions he doubts he will see again.
“Elven-made clothes to go with the elven cloak?” Fíli joins Boromir on the balcony he’s sitting on, watching a courtyard where a boy is practicing with a bow.
“They are well-made, and all of mine were lost save those on my back after the encounter with the trolls.” Boromir glances at the prince – not spoken of as such, not in this company, and he has followed their lead in that – studying his face a moment. “Will you turn such down if they offer?”
“If they offer, no, but I do not expect them to offer.” Fíli shrugs, leaning against the railing. “Who’s the child?”
“A boy under the protection of Lord Elrond.” Boromir doesn’t know what name Aragorn has now, and doesn’t dare use the name he knows the man as for the boy he is now. He hasn’t asked after him, either, not wishing to betray knowledge he should not have.
“Do you know him?” Fíli watches Boromir, raising an eyebrow at his swift shake of his head. “Then why do you watch him?”
“He reminds me a little of someone I knew.” Boromir shrugs, looking down at Aragorn to see Aragorn looking up at them in return. “I doubt I will see him again. It is a long journey and I do not know what the future will bring.”
Fíli gives him a sympathetic smile before leaning over the railing on the balcony, looking at something. Giving a satisfied grunt, he climbs over, and down, as Boromir comes over, jumping the last short distance into the courtyard.
Aragorn is staring at Fíli, eyes wide, a grin creeping across his face that is more cheerful than anything Boromir had seen toward the end of their journey. He hopes he can find a way to see that smile remain more common than it had become – if the Ring is destroyed sooner, perhaps there will be no need for Aragorn to forget how to be as happy as he is now.
Responses, and Morning 3 Feb 17
norcumi
replied to your post “Bedtime 2 Feb 17”
::careful hugs::
replied to your post
Sleep well!
*hugs you both* I slept ok, even if I woke up going, “I have too much to do and if I have to deal with people in brick-space, there is waaaay too much risk of meltdown, so. Noping out of swimming today.”
… And my brain decided that today was a day to do word vomit that could well be TMI.
Warning: My mom’s family leans very right on the political spectrum, with very few exceptions that I am aware of, with all the bigotry and hate that implies.
It doesn’t help that the depression piles on over the winter, too, and both depression and anxiety for me involve a shit ton of anger as well as exhaustion, and just. I’m going to be away for a month and a half starting Monday, and different environment might help some. (That it involves a lot of close contact with mom probably won’t.) After that… I don’t know. I might take the first real vacation I’ve had in fifteen years.
No mom, no expectations, no worries about relatives showing up to “just check in on you (and make sure you’re still an obedient little heterosexual girl who’s going to be settling down with a white man to make babies any day now and scold you if you don’t play nice with the bigots who treat you like you’re a piece of shit on their shoe)”
… Ok, so I have some serious issues with my mom’s side of the family, and their intense pressure to conformconformconform, and their fondness for emotionally abusive cult-like churches and absolute rabid racism, misogyny, hatred for all sexual identities not heterosexual, cissexism, and their disgust with anyone who doesn’t espouse their ideals. At least, as of the last time I bothered to talk to any of them. It has been fifteen years. Some of them might have changed. I’m too terrified of what they might do if they haven’t to even find out.
Anyway.
Have fed the cat, took mom over to the pool, ran errands, picked mom up from the pool, got food, got home. Collected two weeks worth of papers from the driveway (Sundays only, so only two papers), two days worth of mail out of the mailbox (grrrrrr), and fixed the paper jam in the printer for mom (she could do it, but me doing it let her sort mail).
To do list for today:
Feed cat (10 am hour, 10 pm hour)
Feed me (one, two, three, four)
Clean litterbox
load of dishes
put away clean laundry from yesterday
prep tomorrows laundry
attempt to write 100-1000 words
call my PCP to schedule a physical for after I get home – that was pointless, because they claim that she doesn’t exist, and since medicaid won’t cover anything non-emergency if it doesn’t come through the PCP that I chose, I’m screwed.
Beyond that, I am probably going to play computer games, and plug in my mini lights for pretty little lights, and poke around getting things prepped for the queue for during a hiatus, which I think I need to do while I’m out of town. Just. Spend some quality time with my only internet stuff being games and webcomics and clearing my email periodically. And write, as best I can.
norcumi
replied to your post “(mutual anon meme) Awkward hugs, equal parts depression, friendliness,…”
WHOOT! You are correcT! o/ <3333
Woo-hoo! *does a happy dance* 💜
made-up fic title meme: if you don’t mind something surreal/ludicrous, “Rubber Duck War Dance,” please (and if that’s not your speed, that is cool too!)
*blinks and grins*
MCU, de-aging fic. The sole remaining (semi-)responsible adults are Clint Barton and Thor. Everyone else is some age of self-mobile pre-school child. Bath time involves lots of water toys, everyone and the bathroom absolutely soaked, at least one toddler escaping being toweled dry and dressed for bed, and Tony and Natasha marching around with rubber ducks, singing something that makes no sense to Clint and only makes sense to Thor because Allspeak.
There are pictures. And video.
When they’re returned to their proper ages, everyone remembers what happened. The Rubber Duck War Dance (and song) become an Avengers & company inside joke.
For this meme. Please, send me more!