For the title thing, ‘Love is a three-ounce vodka shot’

For this meme. Still taking prompts.


MCU, in which the Avengers stumble over some well-made fan movies of them (Age of Ultron, Civil War, Infinity War), and are rather horrified by what the directors and writers came up for them. Because that’s not what happened at all, and they really didn’t need to see that.

After making the mistake of watching these movies, first one up is Clint, because dude, this might be even more fucked up than his life is anyway, and where the fuck did they hide his hearing aids, but he’s kinda used to be a human disaster anyway. He brings back a tray full of glasses of vodka, enough for everyone, and larger ones for Steve, Bucky, Thor, Loki, and Pietro, because metabolism reasons.

Because the Avengers are a family, if an often dysfunctional one, and each of them has their way of saying I love you. (Turning people into semi-appropriate animals, building/buying shiny things/companies, threatening/maiming/disposing of whoever has been a credible threat lately, various nicknames, the Goat Avengers, etc.) Clint thinks today is a day for I love you being alcohol and pizza (which gets delivered about the time the shock wears off, and Natasha and Bucky start plotting how to find the directors and writers involved and having a little talk with them).

Now I’m just imagining some weird amalgamation of comics, movies, and X-Men Evo where Steve and Logan are old friends, Steve shows up at the Institute, Kitty lets him in, and Scott kicks him back out.

words-writ-in-starlight:

(the post with the tags)

Let’s just pretend that Evo
takes place in the 2010′s, shhhhhh.  But also I haven’t paid attention to
comics canon in like thirty years and I’m not about to start now so we’re just
not gonna use that canon at all because…I don’t know things.

Steve’s been out of
the ice for four months.  He’s–adjusting.  Going for a wander on his
bike helped a little, but now he’s back in Brooklyn, waiting for SHIELD to
decide what to do with him and hating every second of it and more or less on
self-imposed house arrest.  He goes for a run every morning, he goes for
groceries once a week out of his suddenly full bank account–back pay for seven
decades racks up quick–and he watches the news between compulsively reading
historical texts and Wikipedia.  It’s…

It’s not a great way
to live, to be honest, but what else is he going to do?

Steve is making
himself eggs when the news story comes on CNN.  BREAKING NEWS, the screen declares.  Steve has the
most basic TV he could find at a Best Buy, courtesy of a helpful young man who
took pity on Steve’s obvious choice paralysis, and it still cost what would
have been a month’s wages for a family of four.  It’s bright and
colorful and he gets an apparently infinite number of channels with absolutely
nothing worth watching, and the breaking news banner is an eye-catching red, and Steve tries not to think about it too much.

Steve is still
absently scrambling eggs when the image cuts to a pan of a mansion, red-roofed
and behind a high stone wall with an iron gate, helpfully labeled in white on
the bottom of the screen.  Xavier’s Institute for the
Gifted.  
The name rings a dim bell.

This footage is coming to us live from Westchester
County,” the anchor says seriously, “where the fourth protest in a week is
threatening to turn violent outside the Xavier Institute, an all-mutant
boarding school.  Charles Xavier, a mutant himself, has been an outspoken
proponent of mutant rights since the issue came to light four years ago. 
Senator Robert Kelly of New York has put forth a bill this week that would ban
mutants from public schools across the nation–Kelly, of course, ascended from Westchester high school principal and school board member to senator in under a year,
running on a platform of mutant registration.  We go now to Sherry Jackson
on site for more detail.”

The split screen
changes again, to a full screen view of a dark-skinned woman standing in front
of a line of protesters pressed up against the iron gate.  The dull roar
of a chant–Steve can make it out through the din with his enhanced senses, but
just barely, a ragged Freaks go home–sounds
like an onrushing train behind her.

“Thank you, Frank,”
she says.  “As you can see, these protests have grown more aggressive
by the day.  A professor here, Doctor Henry McCoy, and one of the
students, a young woman named Jean Grey, are scheduled to speak tomorrow at
Capitol Hill, in defense of allowing mutants to attend public school, and this
protest has been organized by the well-known Human Rights Activist group in an
attempt to prevent them from leaving.  Two people have already been taken
to the hospital after scuffles broke out on the fringes.”

“Have we heard
anything from the Institute, Sherry?”

“Professor Xavier and
another resident, Ororo Munroe, have both approached the gate to request that
the protest disperse to let the students through to attend school, as the
younger students attend the local middle and high schools,” Shelly says
neutrally.  “Their requests were denied, but–”  She holds up a
finger, eyes flicking away from the camera.  “One moment,
Frank–really?  All right.  Come this way,” she orders, and beckons
her cameraman around the crowd until they manage to get a narrow shot of the
gate.

“Sherry?”

“One minute, Frank, I
think we have someone coming outside the Institute–Johnny, get a better shot
of the road, will you?”  She nods to someone out of the shot and resumes
her professional stance, off to the side to keep a clear shot of the other side
of the gate.

Steve watches, and his
hand slows to a stop–the figure in the road is stocky and broad, with dark
hair framing a scowl, and for a second, Steve thinks he might be
hallucinating.  

Because, see, it’s
been seven decades and Logan never really lived his life like he planned to
live a long one.  

Keep reading

ohdanasun:

just wanting to prove a quick point here. reblog if you believe loki is a complex, well-developed, three-dimensional character who didn’t deserve to be killed in the first 5 minutes of the movie. let’s see how many we are

Sleepover Saturday – what originally drew you to Loki?

iamanartichoke:

His black suit, haha. 

In seriousness, I think it was just … his utter complexity as a character? There are so many layers to Loki, you can keep peeling them back and peeling them back and still never quite reach the core of what makes him tick. He is mercurial and callous, he is insecure and damaged, he is jaded and cynical, he is intelligent and witty, he is mischievous and sly. He feels things so deeply, though it is often to his own detriment, and he has an enormous capacity to love, but sabotages it by his equally enormous capacity for self-loathing. He wears so many masks – villain, anti-hero, savior, trickster – but for all of his layers and identities, there isn’t a bit of true, unrepentant evil in him. Not at all. His villainy lacks conviction, as Coulson pointed out, and comes from a place of deep pain, not true cruelty. He is not irredeemable. He’s like a puzzle piece that never quite fits anywhere, but has not yet discovered that this is what makes him so preciously rare. He has yet to find value in himself, but there’s the sense that he could, eventually. He’s made strides in that direction. And I think all of these factors just culminate in a character whose complexity makes him achingly relatable, because in a world full of superheroes, some of us are just the insecure, strange puzzle pieces still trying to figure out where we fit. 

Thank you for the ask! 

Sleepover Saturday.

calime33:

pennie-dreadful:

iamanartichoke:

lucianalight:

“I love you, my sons”

My real issue with this(apart from the fact that it’s not a fix for all the pain that Odin caused) is that it’s too damn late. Yes, Loki needed to hear it and it’s good that he finally did. But he needed it much sooner.

He needed to hear “I love you too, brother” from Thor before the coronation instead of “Thank you”.

He needed to hear “I love you” from Odin instead of “You are my son”. Because they aren’t the same thing. He needed to be sure of his place and his father’s love for him instead of feeling like a useless relic: “Bring about permanent peace through you. But those plans no longer matter”.

I was waiting the whole time that somebody tells Loki that he is loved but it didn’t happen.

Next time he sees Odin, he is told that “Your birthright was to die!” and he is sentenced to solitary confinement for life. Thor doesn’t visit. He only sees his mother by illusions. None of his family sees it fit to tell him that his mother died. He isn’t even given a chance to say goodbye.

This “I love you” is too late. These words don’t match the actions. They are too little, too late.

Odin, you used that word, but I don’t think it means what you think it means. 

I can’t help but think that must have felt like the worst gaslighting to Loki.

Also, it truly is interesting to note that until that moment, the only person in that entire fucked up family to verbally express love…was Loki.

That read to me as the worst kind of gaslighting too, and my reactions were mostly on the line of poor Loki that gets those words when they not only mean nothing, but actually are a hurt and an insult. Though I can very well see Odin meaning them. I understand that some fans are upset that there was not satisfactory resolution (and some are upset, and IMO kinda rightly-ish about that others have decided that this throwaway bone of gaslighting from an old dad not very clear in their mind WAS enough and should feel enough to Loki, to us), but it actually fits extremely well with the history and MO of that fucked up family, and quite realistically parallels a lot of RL shit. Odin in all likelihood thinks/thought he loved his sons (nobody is a villain in their own mind), and he was still a shit dad. And he died a shit dad, to all his MCU-acknowledged kids. Not that he’s much better dad in comics – and honestly, anyone at least partly familiar with northern mythos would not think Odin would be a ‘good dad’ the way we nowadays think one should be. Odin just… isn’t. Odin is a mean clever tricksy darkish vengeful smart fickle fascinating fear-inducing petty god of the battlefield, wisdom and death. None of those things, except maybe death, are really ever kind to children.

I’m rewatching Civil War and it occurs to me that Sam Wilson is most definitely not the Sane One. He tries to outrun the supersoldier that already lapped him three times in his first appearance. He purposely antagonizes the guy that just tore through a UN superjail. He’s the only one that doesn’t address T’Challa as “your highness” and tries to start snarky banter. Point is, Natasha was the Responsible One. Or Clint or Pepper. Sam is one of the crazy idiots who constantly need bail money.

pettydabblerinthedorkarts:

stele3:

fatcr0w:

ageisia:

fatcr0w:

THANK YOU.

Everyone writes Sam as the replacement Bucky but guys, Bucky is trying to go into hiding because there are now TWO Steves on the loose. 

TWO of them. 

The only thing that makes him seem relatively sane is the lack of super abilities but anyone who thinks it’s a reasonable idea to attach a LIVE JET ENGINE ten inches from his asshole is nOT SANE. 

Bucky went into cryogenic sleep because there were two Steves on the loose. He spent an hour or two with Sam, saw where this was going, and was just like “I’m out.”

Those two are probably giving Clint an ulcer right now.  And being a terrible influence on Scott and Wanda.  

I wonder if anyone ever told Clint who T’Challa is.  T’Challa seems like he actually would be a Responsible One, but he’s got his own country to deal with so he doesn’t usually get involved unless it’s potentially world ending.  

They fix up Bucky within months of putting him under because Sam and Steve haven’t sat still for even like, ten??? minutes?

T’Challa raises him from the artic like uhm, you gonna need to go collect ya mans.

Bucky is like “Oh gOD what did Steve do????”

“No not that one, he’s been too Sad and Lost™ without you but the cute one has decided to try his hand at decentralizing the corrupt governance of Klaegia like, four hours plane ride south. Come on the jet’s already packed”

The Dora Milaje have to keep Bucky from smashing the refrost button to go back under he’s Done.

Sam Wilson met Steve THREE TIMES and was like, “oh you want to overthrow the American government great LET’S DO THIS.” Sam Wilson’s first act in that effort was to suggest that they steal his backpack jet, right from where he KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE, almost as if he’d kept his eye on it the whole time and was maybe, y’know, planning to nab it himself at some point. Sam Wilson never met a superassassin or a king or a government agent that he didn’t want to sass and antagonize.

Sam Wilson is not the Sane One. You have been lied to.

“I do what he does, only slower”

HE TOLD YOU