But for something new: idk if you’re reading Heretic Pride, or if you’re at all interested in OCs, but if so here’s a snippet for what will be chapter 14 of that fic. (So, if anybody wants to read it in order without spoilers, don’t click the read more!)
*
Miik is the one who arranges the first meeting. It’s in the
fern room in the conservatory, during their free meditation period, and they
all know to tell any master who asks that they’re going to practice group
meditation.
Aloo runs into Master Sinube on her way to the conservatory,
and she’s only a little surprised by how easily the lie comes. The guilt that
follows it, though, twists in her stomach for hours and even days after. But
it’s not enough to stop her from going.
Almost sixty younglings come to the first meeting. Aloo is
one of the last to arrive, and she stands for a moment just inside the
entrance, blinking in surprise. She’d thought she was alone. She’s never
imagined there could be so many of them.
My second thought is bonding time with clones and Jedi.
Cody walks into Kenobi’s office on the Resolute, his arms
full of discarded cloaks. It’s a mess of fabric, bunched up
decoratively to make the pile look even larger than it is (though if
one takes even a second look, they’ve been through the basic
laundering sonics that all the troopers’ gear gets. Or maybe not.
Cody can be an asshole that way). He dumps them on a bemused Kenobi’s
desk and informs him AT LENGTH how it is not standard operating
procedure to discard equipment willy-nilly, and reads him SEVERAL
nastygrams from the quartermasters. Obi-Wan dutifully listens,
folding every last cloak, both grateful for the break from all the
paperwork, and for the fact that Cody cares
enough to bother.
To his credit, Obi-Wan TRIES not to
lose his cloak for awhile.
(he’s not nearly as successful as
he’d like.)
Aayla Secura and Bly both lecture
each other about being reckless on the battlefield. While on said
battlefield. Possibly for pulling the exact same stunt. It is highly
against protocol that a General/Commander risk themself like that.
Neither of them sees any irony in
this.
Rex Has A Talk with Ahsoka about
following regs when it comes to charging
headlong into danger. They have some sparring and practice drills on
How To Keep Your Damnfool Unarmored Jedi Head Down Sir.
Ahsoka later on primly has words
with her master about how he Needs To Keep His Head Down and maybe
don’t charge into battle. Anakin sputters and protests that he
knows what he’s doing, promptly gets mildly injured, and has to
endure Ahsoka’s very loud lack of not commenting.
He goes to kvetch at Rex about this.
Rex manages not to roll his eyes,
then goes through the same routine.
It actually does stick. Somewhat.
Wolffe goes to his general to
protest that it really is not standard procedure that the
men have so much downtime while investigating…what ARE they
investigating on this ridiculous resort planet, Sir?
Plo Koon manages to keep his sigh
internal, then fires off some bullshit about how the Council sent
them to look into…corruption. And scurrilous activities. And.
Suchlike in the area.
(He is a member of the Council, the
men desperately need downtime, and since they’re in this quadrant
anyways, he’s happy to fill out the reams of paperwork regarding
the “unfortunate but necessary repairs” to the cruiser that will
give them a few days of rest. If he can convince them to take it.)
(Wolffe doesn’t buy it entirely,
but he ends up happy anyways because Hondo is active in the area and
Wolffe ends up personally
able to deck him.)
(Plo considers it all a win.)
Yoda spends some time leading
meditation with Commander Thire and a few other Coruscant Guard.
Thire is finally the one to speak up. “Sir, is this…regulation? I
mean, isn’t this a Jedi thing?” When Yoda asks him how a trooper
would spend some time unwinding – with that glint in his eyes that
the clones don’t recognize as sign of the Temple’s oldest and
wiliest troll – the men exchange looks.
Yoda’s not hugely adept with
a pistol at the firing range,
but still MUCH better than many of the clones expected. The carousing
that goes on afterwards becomes the stuff of legend at 79’s, the
Guard headquarters, and several holo channels of dubious repute.
~end
*cackles with delight, and adds to their plot bunny fodder tag*
it was only a matter of time before my obsessions crashed into each other.
Have Jedi Healer Julian Bashir (in traditional healers robes) (being genetically augmented incidentally changed his level of Force sensitivity) and Jedi Shadow Garak (was undercover for most of the war on the separatist planet of Cardassia Prime).
(I subscribe to the notion that the Jedi Shadows are the Jedi intelligence and Spy division, not just ‘hunt down and destroy sith objects’ people)
Julian so rarely uses his ‘saber but he totes it around all the same. it’s the same color blue as the Trek science uniforms. Garak missed his ‘saber desperately while he was undercover and never takes it off. His is yellow-green and it’s a folding one like the temple guardians have.
*stops scrolling and stares while a grin spreads across their face* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THIS IS AWESOME!
I frequently find myself at a loss when I discover the mindset that the Jedi Council, the Jedi Order, and even Obi-Wan provided a particularly good environment for Anakin to learn/grow up in. By comparing Anakin in TPM to AoTC, I believe it will become quite clear by the change in Anakin that the Temple provided an inadequate place for him to grow.
In TPM Anakin is a very self-confident boy. He is aware of his capabilities and limitations, expresses his opinion firmly, and, as a rule, doesn’t allow his detractors to get him down, or put him down. To list some examples:
He has the courage to initiate a conversation with Padme
In the novelisation, he even says that he’s going to marry her.
He stands up to Sebulba and confidently imitates a conversation with Qui-Gon
He invites perfect strangers to his home.
He calls Qui-Gon out on being a Jedi
He calls Qui-Gon out on slavery
He insists that he can win a podrace, and defends himself when his abilities are questioned
He ignores the ridicule of the children in his community
He talks back to the Council, not rudely, but forcefully.
He asks Ric Olie about piloting and is told he “catches on quick.”
He says he’s going to “see them all,” when he asks about star systems
He refuses to let people destroy his dreams-hard to do when you’re a slave.
He even talks back to and defends himself to Watto-his owner.
Clearly, Anakin is a very confident, and self-possessed individual. He states his opinions firmly, and defends them with conviction. Let’s compare that to AoTC Anakin:
Is far more nervous around Padme (which can admittedly be chalked up to hormones.)
Is shot down hard by Obi-Wan when he expresses his opinions-He does not ever really try and defend himself
Obi-Wan actually seems surprised he stands up as much as he does-clearly it is a rare occurrence that Anakin states his mind like that.
Anakin looks scared of what he’s done when he backs down
He looks timid in front of the Council-Far more so than in TPM
He is told “don’t do anything without first discussing it with either” Obi-Wan or the Council.
He just accepts Padme’s harsh criticism when he points out that she should discuss security concerns with him: Despite the fact that she is in the wrong, he does nothing to defend himself.
He expresses the opinions of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and mace, far more than he does his own. He actually seems afraid to give his opinions, as a rule.
There is a vast difference then between TPM!Anakin and AoTC!Anakin. The former defended his beliefs vehemently. The latter is afraid to even express them. Anakin only rants about Obi-Wan when Padme gives a hint of listening; it’s clear this has been pent-up in him for ages, but he hasn’t been able to let it out. Clearly, no one cares what he thinks or feels. When Padme shoots him down over security, he takes it meekly, but when she expressed doubt with him in TPM over his ability to win the Boonta, he just brushed it off, and told her “he’d win this time.” Before, in TPM, he said what he thought, now he just says “Master so-and-so thinks…” He feels uncomfortable saying what he really thinks. He honestly was more comfortable speaking up as a slave, than as a Jedi. Even just the body language difference can tell you that he’s gone from sure of himself to intensely insecure.
This is Anakin in TPM sticking up to his owner:
This is Anakin in AoTC, free, ostensibly, with his teacher:
It’s like chalk and cheese. One boy is sure of himself, the other looks brow-beaten. What could have caused such a massive shift in self-esteem? Well, a classic cause would be bullying. A child who is different, for whatever reason, gets humiliated, ostracized, beat-up, talked down to, and loses their self-confidence. I don’t doubt the same thing happened to Anakin. He was from the Outer Rim. He began his training late. He was different, unnaturally gifted. I’ve no doubt that was rough, and clearly he wasn’t given any kind of support to help with that, rather he was given the opposite. Hence, he is insecure.
This is in no way his fault. He’s barely an adult by AoTC, and it is up to the adults responsible for him during his childhood to provide a safe environment, if not a safe haven, for him to grow up in. Clearly, the Jedi have failed to do this. Indeed, as shown when Obi-Wan says “don’t do anything without consulting either myself or the Council,” they clearly had no faith in him whatsoever, (after ten years), so why should he believe in himself? In RoTS, Windu actually says when Anakin tells him about Palpatine, “If what you say is true, you will have earned my trust.” In thirteen years, Anakin who has worked diligently, and loyally as a Jedi, and he’s never earned Windu’s trust or respect! That is cold. What was Anakin suppose to do anyway as a boy? Go back to Tatooine? Anakin really didn’t have much choice but to stay. At least, with the Jedi he would get a good education, and would learn how to use the Force. There was nothing for him on Tatooine. What good would he do? By staying with the Jedi, at least until he was knighted, he might be able to help when he finally goes back to Tatooine. He’ll have the Force, and an education that would serve him well. (Then, of course, the war started so that went out the air-lock…) No, the fault for Anakin’s low self-esteem lies entirely with the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi Council. You cannot blame Anakin, especially since he was a child at the time. Frankly, the Council should be ashamed of themselves. If you adopt a child, and he wilts that much under your care, you need to take a good hard look at yourselves.
I would have thought that it was bad writing too. However, the theme of the apathetic inadequacy of the Jedi is carried from TPM through to RoTS. In TPM, Mace Windu tests Anakin only as a formality, because “he’s too old.” When Qui-Gon insists that Anakin be tested, Windu just waves a hand and says “bring him before us then.” He’s pretty much done with it all. Unsurprisingly, the Council then rejects Anakin, (while talking about Anakin as if he wasn’t even there.) That’s not really the worst bit though, when Qui-Gon points out that Anakin has nowhere to go, they don’t express any concern for his well-being, his education, his future, even though he’s a freed slave with few options, and no money: He’s a child at their mercy. Even when this fact is pointed out to them they just say he’s Qui-Gon’s “ward” now to do with as he pleases, just don’t train him. How callous! I mean, would you do that to a poor boy with no prospects who needed your help desperately?
By the time TPM ends, Anakin’s behaviour is already beginning to foreshadow what happens in AoTC. He’s picked up on all this and this is how he looks when he finds out Obi-Wan is going to be the one to train him:
This isn’t just grief from Qui-Gon’s death; Anakin’s expression, the above expression, comes as a direct result of Obi-Wan’s promise. Anakin’s grief is enhanced by his insecurity over his future. As I pointed out in my post The Team: Built on Weak Foundations, Anakin knew that Obi-Wan initially didn’t believe he should be trained, and was even jealous of him due to Qui-Gon’s actions in the Council room. Anakin had every reason to be afraid that things weren’t going to go well, and they didn’t. Yes, he and Obi-Wan became friends, which was nice, but he was never allowed to feel safe in his environment at the Temple, because of the Council’s apathy, even antipathy toward him which most of the other Jedi would have picked up on and followed like Lemmings. After all, why wouldn’t they do what the wise and noble Council does? Hence, we get Anakin’s low self-esteem in AoTC.
By the time RoTS comes around, Anakin is doing a bit better. He has command of his own men. He’s no longer an apprentice. He’s gained confidence now that he’s needed as a General in the GAR, and he’s been acknowledged to be a really good one which also helps: He’s the Hero With no Fear. As a result, he pushes back a bit more, but the underlying timidity he has with the Council doesn’t quite go away:
While, Anakin starts to really express a lot of his deeply rooted anger that stems from way back in his childhood, both with the Jedi and from slaver, in RoTS, and the Council takes a lot of it, (ignoring Operation Knighthood), he still doesn’t get one of the things he desperately needs, and craves: Validation and respect. Anakin honestly just needs them to tell him he did a good job, and that they’re proud of him, but the Council can’t quite seem to manage it. He might get “arrogant.” (Oh, please. He wouldn’t be so keen to prove what he can do, if you’d just say “you did well, kid!) By the time RoTS comes around, Obi-Wan is the only one who ever really tells him he’s doing a good job, and therefore he is placed in the position of fielding between Anakin and the Council, as the relationship continues to break down.
Nevertheless, despite his slowly regaining confidence, and the increasingly tense dynamic between Anakin and the Council, Anakin still doesn’t feel secure enough to just stand his ground, or even leave. This is a result of years of emotional abuse. Anakin was physically and emotionally abused as a child on Tatooine, and emotionally, and arguably, spiritually abused as a an apprentice to the Jedi. To be honest, I think this behaviour was mostly reserved for Anakin. The Jedi may not have been stellar in raising other members of their Order; they lost sight of what their Code really meant some time prior to the PT. However, they came down cruelly on Anakin, because he was different, and they were scared of what that meant. (Fear leads to the Dark Side, oh yes, but you helped him on his journey through your own fear.)
to make that funeral scene even worse: Anakin has to ASK what’s going to happen to him.
I mean, think about it. The kid is all alone on a strange planet, surrounded by people he hardly knows, and the ONE GUY who appeared to be in his corner is dead, and no one will tell him what’s going on, or what will happen to him. it’s been at LEAST two weeks – to allow for Padme to consolidate her hold on the planet well enough for the Supreme Chancellor to visit, him to be ELECTED, and to hold talks with the Gungans as to how to include their voice in Naboo’s government from now on. Likely it’s longer. And in all that time, ALL that TIME, no one says ONE single WORD about what’s going to happen to Anakin going forward.
He can’t go back to Tattooine. Padme isn’t offering him a place on Naboo, she likely thinks that he’s already part of the Jedi and wouldn’t be receptive to her offer even if she did consider it.
Obi-wan has his head up his own ass and can’t be bothered to consider any feelings other than his own. He doesn’t get that with his new teaching gig, come responsibilities toward the well being (including emotional well being) of his charge. So he’s off in his own head during the funeral, and Anakin is forced to speak up.
and Jake Loyd is perfect here. Anakin’s voice is *resigned* as he askes the question. you can tell that the anxieties have already burned themselves out, and there’s nothing left but resigned acceptance. there’s no use fighting what comes next, because there’s nothing left to fight.
It’s only THEN that Obi-wan turns. Turns and tells Anakin that he has permission to train Anakin as a Jedi. Then he promises Anakin that he WILL be a Jedi, as if that makes it all alright.
It doesn’t.
Okay, so, just up my dash I saw a post by @furiousgoldfish listing signs that your family is abusive and I was just blown away by the sheer number of indicators seen in Anakin’s relationship with Obi-Wan and the Jedi. I’ve highlighted examples from the films and TCW.
signs that your family is abusive:
you feel the urge to hide from them whenever you’re vulnerable
you cannot bear the idea of them seeing you cry
when you’re hurt or in pain, you don’t go to them because you feel
they’ll tell you that you deserved it or that it was your fault
After Obi-Wan’s terrible advice about his prophetic dreams in AotC, Anakin doesn’t got to him about them in RotS. The ‘advice’ he receives from Yoda is basically to suck it up because grief and fear are wrong.
you don’t feel like you can confide in them, either because they don’t
seem to care, or try to control how you act, or yell at you and punish you, or
use the information against you
After Obi-Wan dismisses Anakin’s concerns about his mother, allying with the Hutts, the Jedi’s role in the war, the Jedi’s behavior regarding the Chancellor, etc., Anakin stops coming to him with his problems. He also keeps his marriage a secret out of fear of Obi-Wan and the Jedi’s reaction.
you feel very self-conscious around them and keep expecting criticism
and insults
Look at the way he sits in AotC and that tiny flinch when Obi-Wan tears into him.
you can’t tell them about your struggles because you already know
they’ll side against you
See my previous comments about Anakin keeping secrets from Obi-Wan.
you keep things in your life secret from them because you have a feeling
they would ridicule, humiliate, and judge you if they knew, or take everything
away from you
Same as above
you feel scared of letting them know when they hurt you
After Obi-Wan fakes his death in the Deception Arc of TCW, Anakin is told by both Yoda and Obi-Wan that the pain he feels is his own fault.
you feel scared and guilty when you so much as think about them in a bad
way
Anakin rants against Obi-Wan repeatedly in AotC, often times while crying and immediately denying that he feels what he just said.
you feel the urge to remind yourself of all the things they did for you,
whenever something bad comes up, to be sure that you’re seeing them the way
they want to be seen by you
See previous comment.
you’re scared of being accused of being a burden to them
Obi-Wan and the Council make it clear in TPM that they don’t actually want Anakin and that his presence is a severe inconvenience to them. When Obi-Wan complains in AotC that Anakin will be the death of him, Anakin is clearly hurt.
you’re scared to hold them responsible for things they did to you,
because you know they would argue otherwise, and insist they had full right to
do what they did, or that you made it up
See previous statement
you have the inner sense of dread that nothing you ever do or say will
be taken seriously by them, and your life will always look like a joke to them
you dream of living far away from them and feel guilty for wanting to
cut them from your life
Anakin wants to leave the Jedi, he says as much to Ahsoka, but clearly feels to afraid to actually do it.
you don’t feel like you’re really important in comparison to them, it
feels like it’s better to just step aside and let them be important, your life
doesn’t matter as much anyway
In RotS, Anakin says that he wants more, but is aware that he shouldn’t. He knows his needs are wrong and selfish and he should feel ashamed.
you’re worried about how your every action might affect their life,
their reputation and social standing
you feel that they’re ashamed of you and you’re trying your best not to
bring further shame on the family
Anakin apologizes constantly in AotC.
you feel like you’ll owe them for the rest of your life and nothing you
ever do will be enough to erase the debt, and this fills you with dread and
feeling of being trapped
The Jedi freed Anakin from slavery. The Jedi took him on even when they clearly didn’t want to. Obi-Wan potentially put his career on the line to train Anakin even though he obviously didn’t like him. Anakin can never repay that debt and they make sure he knows it.
you don’t count on their help when you’re in trouble, you’re scared of them
finding out and punishing you for being in trouble in the first place
Anakin doesn’t tell Obi-Wan about what happened on Tatooine. He doesn’t tell him about Padme. He deliberately with holds information about his relationship troubles, even when asked about them.
you don’t count on them sharing their resources with you, you know you
have to be grateful for how much they’ve given you already and feel like you
have no right to ask for anything more, even if you need it
you can’t feel warmth or safety when surrounded by family, instead you
wish you didn’t have to be there, and seek a place to hide and protect yourself
holidays spent with family are just painful and something you try to
endure instead of enjoy
you can’t imagine a world where you’re free and not defined by these
people
Anakin has a wife he could easily choose to be with, but he stays because he can’t imagine not being a Jedi.
Now, I’m not saying that Obi-Wan and the Jedi set out to be abusive, but that was clearly the end result. What they set out to be was in control. Anakin was too old. He was too powerful. He was too dangerous. He needed to be contained. Obi-Wan says as much to Yoda and Mace in AotC. Yoda says as much to Anakin in TCW Deception Arc.
So what did they do? They isolated him from his family and friends. They criticized him constantly. They reminded him how unruly and disobedient and wrong he was. They taught him that he was wrong to ever want anything more. The end result is that they took a confident, happy boy and turned him into an uncertain and unstable mess. I guess that made him easier to control. Palpatine certainly thought so.
It was confirmed in Obi-Wan and Anakin that he was bullied at the temple for being different and that not only did they ignore this but they made him apologize to his bullies whenever he retaliated. As someone who had this happen to them, I can tell you it absolutely torpedos any chance you have of standing up for yourself if you need to.
Like the Jedi Council had no idea how to deal with the trauma of being a former slave. It was Anakin’s choice to turn, it always was, but they infinitely worsened the process due to their clumsiness and prioritizing Anakin the weapon over Anakin the person.
No one says it, but Beru effectively saved the galaxy when she raised Luke as Luke before the chosen one or Anakin’s son or anything else. Anakin didn’t have someone like Beru to do that for him. Obi-Wan tried, but in the end he wasn’t good enough.
This. This this this. The Jedi fucked Anakin up. They didn’t set out to do it, but they did, and they did it thoroughly.
Inspired by this post, I wanted to a separate post about the destruction of the Jedi Order.
Their destruction wasn’t an event, it was a process. A long process that
started generations before Anakin was even born. Yes, Anakin made his terrible
life choices (no one is denying that) but he’s not the one thing that went wrong with Order
or why they fell apart. So I made a list of terrible things the Jedi
Order did that are not Anakin Skywalker’s fault:
The Order’s decision to take little kids from their parents.
The Order’s indoctrination of said kids;
The Order’s decision to keep Yoda in charge for 900 years;
The Order’s lack of action to end slavery;
Their turning a blind to the corruption in the Senate.
Their decision to follow the Senate even when they knew they shouldn’t.
The Order’s growing arrogance;
The Council’s nepotism;
The Council’s decision to not send extra help along with Qui-Gon and Obi-wan right after they were told the Sith was back.
Their decision to hide the truth about Qui-Gon’s death.
Their decision to personally aid the leaders of a planet but not its citizens.
Their decision to help slaver Jabba the Hutt but not his slaves.
The order’s diminishing popularity.
The Council’s decision to fight in the Clone Wars.
Turning children and teenagers into soldiers
Hiding prisoners in secret prisons (without trial).
Their plan to overthrown the Chancellor before they even knew he was a Sith.
Using a slave army.
Hiding the truth about the slave army’s creation.
The Council lying to their own members.
Turning their back on a teenager they raised (and used) to avoid “political complications”
Allowing an older man to have unrestrained access to a little boy.
Sending a little boy to an adult prison.
* Acting like they had All The Answers To Everything when they couldn’t even handle a scared kid who missed his mommy.
* Making the scared kid feel like he was a bad, dangerous person for being scared, despite the fact that he’d just helped their asses out bigtime.
* Wait, so Anakin’s Dangerous, but a fucknut like Pong Krell flies below the radar? Yeah, no.
* Giving Anakin shit about his arm when he lost it in battle against a Sith Lord…who used to be a Jedi himself and left the Order because he finally got fed up with the Jedi and their shit.
* Having a fucked up system that involved sending aspiring Jedi kids off to be farmers if they didn’t get chosen by a master. Wow, glad you guys took them away from their families and fucked up their lives so they could go grow beans for you or some shit, good job.
* Being hypocritical assholes. There is no ignorance…but only Masters can access certain parts of the archives and we’re gonna lie out our asses on a regular basis about pretty much everything we can think of. There is no fear…but we’re afraid of literally everything, including being unpopular, so let’s throw Ahsoka to the wolves so we can keep sitting at the cool kids’ table at lunch.
* Failure to have a basic fucking freshman level psychology textbook in the goddamn archives because then so much of this royal goddamn clusterfuck could have been prevented in the first place!
Fuck your entire couch. These Wookieepedia entries have changed since I last saw them, and not for the better.
I mean.
Master of the Order was a title held by the elected leader of the Jedi Order. He or she was appointed by a unanimous vote of all the Jedi High Council members. Yoda and Mace Windu held that office during the waning years of the Galactic Republic. The office of Master of the Order was distinct from that of Grand Master, the holder of which chaired the Council.[
Ok, fine. I thought that used to be head of the Order, which is a lot less creepy and far less confusing, but ok. Fine. Whatevs. Well, aside from the whole “unanimous vote“ bit which is unlikely at best and unreasonable at worst because ye gods, I can’t even get twelve people to agree on what to have for dinner.
But this. This monstrosity.
Grand Master was a title given to the oldest and wisest member of the Jedi Order. The Grand Master led the Order’s High Council. During the final years of the Clone Wars, Yoda fulfilled that function.
….The Grand Master oversaw the High Council,[1] a body of twelve Jedi Masters that oversaw and governed the activities of the Jedi Order.[3]The function was fulfilled by the oldest and wisest living Jedi Master.
WHAT THE ENTIRE BLEEDING FUCK?
No. JUST FUCKING NO! First off, you’re landing an instant bias towards the longer lived species, which is fuckin’ grand for an organization that needs to keep the peace between planets/peoples currently at odds – yes, I am big on organizational memory, but you’ve already got literally fuckin’ thousands of years of precedent, you cannot be that mired in history without it BITING YOU ON THE ASS.
SECONDLY, “wisest?” HOOOOOW? GIVEN THE WATSON FIASCO KNOWN AS THE JEDI APPRENTICE SERIES, PADAWANS ARE ROUTINELY PICKED BASED ON PROWESS WITH A LIGHTSABER. WHAT FARCE OF AN EXCUSE ARE YOU GOING TO USE TO DETERMINE THIS? HIGHEST SPACE-SCRABBLE SCORES? OH OH OH, IS THERE SOME KIND OF GENERAL ELECTION AMONGST THE ORDER AS A WHOLE? BECAUSE IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT THERE’S NO HINT OF WHO GETS A COUNCIL SEAT AND WHY, AND I CRINGE EVERY TIME I TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TWELVE IDIOTS ARE SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT THE BEST INTERESTS OF 10,000 JEDI SCATTERED ACROSS THE GALAXY, BUT NOW THERE’S THE MYSTERY OF HOW DO THEY DETERMINE THE WISEST???
And honestly. Congratulations, [Oldest and Wisest], you have survived longer than any other poor sod, congrats you now have an honorary seat on the council of twelve, regardless of inclination, interest, past understanding of Order matters, or current ability to stay awake during absurd meetings where your poor supplicants don’t even get fuckin’ chairs.
Selected as wisest and most representative from the Council? Sure, I can go for that.
Grand Master was a title used in both the Old and New Jedi Orders to describe the recognized head of the Order. While separate from the title Master of the Order, which was used to describe the elected leader of the Jedi High Council, the positions were often filled by the same person.
OH HAI THERE, LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE DEFINITIONS! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE IN CANON?
Star Wars canon is just a whole lotta people coming along trying to patch Lucas’s toothpicks-and-chewing-gum structure with wet sand and calling it cement.
Yeah, a large part of this is sheer unmitigated frustration at how they had something that was understandable, made sense, and was simple – and now it’s this mess.
Watto wouldn’t have needed to notice. I imagine that Shmi, wanting to make sure her son stayed safe, told him not to show people he was angry. But she was a good mom, and I don’t think it would have been “don’t feel these things” but “you can’t let anyone know you feel these things except when you’re with me” type messages.
Then you put him into a situation where he’s calling someone new master. Shmi’s not there. And it’s not the same KIND of master, but …
*nods* Which isn’t entirely healthy for him in the long run, but in the short term would help.
But it still is going to go to the same place as any slave master, and Anakin isn’t going to trust it’s safe to show Obi-Wan any anger at all. That it will get him in trouble, and get him punished, and he has no idea what that might mean among Jedi.
He might even worry that it will get him kicked out and sent back to Tatooine. And even if this is a new set of masters, he’s still in a better place to survive than he was before. Which, no matter what else, survival is at the top of his priority list. So he tries to make himself into what his new masters want him to be, what they expect him to be, and anger is definitely not something they’ll ever want to see – not only because showing the Master he’s angry is dangerous, but because they told him that.
Not necessarily so bluntly, but Yoda’s little thing about fear leading to anger to hate to the Dark Side and their initial rejection of him because of fear? That certainly would have told him that anger is not allowed by these masters, any more than it was safe on Tatooine.
And then when he’s with Padmé, and when they are on Tatooine, he breaks a little. He feels safe enough around her to show he’s angry.
This has been sitting in my drafts awhile, and since I’m clearing those out, here, have some meta.
The individual narratives are starting to converge!! Another v. enjoyable installment.
Oh and, wincing but also fascinated at this line: ‘Even the Sith, with all their own attendant horrors, don’t evoke the same visceral sense of terror.’ It’s clear that there’s a very *personal* sense of fear & violation when it comes to the Jedi.
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Cassian doesn’t even remember why the Jedi evoke such a deep fear in him, which is why it doesn’t appear in the story, but it goes back to the disappearance of his parents. That sort of early trauma, even with the accompanying external suppression of the memories – destruction of them before they can really set – leaves scars.
He’s experienced the sort of loss of self (pieces of self) that coming to the attention of the Jedi can bring. I’m also pretty certain that his being left behind probably wasn’t intended, and whichever junior Jedi who did that, even though they left Cassian without the knowledge the Jedi were even there or what happened to his parents, probably had their own bad experience with mind-wiping afterward.
Reading your tags about Bespin, I just realized how crushing it’s going to be for Luke to realize his father was enslaved again. He’s obviously so fiercely proud that his father was freed and so committed to helping others find freedom. It’s not like he’ll be ashamed of it. Just, so upset.
I think it was pretty crushing in canon, too. Of course, it took longer to sink in then, because most of his initial feeling was shock, quickly followed by horror, a deep sense of betrayal, and despair. But once he’d accepted the truth…
imo a big part of the reason Luke is so determined to save his father, and why he’s able to do so, is that he gets it. He understands what the underlying issues really are. He knows, in a way Obi-Wan and even Padme never could, exactly what it means when his slave-born father says, “I must obey my Master.”
Luke Skywalker grew up believing he was the freeborn son of a freed slave. Now he knows he’s the freeborn son of a slave. And he’s pissed as hell about that. He’s angry in a primal way, an anger born of compassion that Palpatine thinks is weakness. An anger Palpatine thinks he can use.
But he can’t even touch it. He can’t touch Luke because he doesn’t understand him. Anakin is the one who almost succeeds in turning Luke, because Anakin and Luke do understand each other. But Palpatine? He knows how to break a slave, and he knows how to kill a Jedi. But this freeborn son of a slave, a Jedi like his father before him: he’s something entirely new.
I was going to put up one of the older fics for the evening fic slot, and never got to it because I spent the afternoon back and forth between trying to get daily living tasks done (today was full of ow, which made those chores hard), and arguing with K-2SO about how they get to meet Cassian in an AU. And also whether or not they’re going to kidnap someone in the process.
(Something about if they’re going to run away from the repeated mind-wipes, they should take the flesh-and-blood droid-person with them who gets the same treatment. … The Jedi are really not your friends in this AU.)
At this point, I’m not able to focus even a little, and I’m getting tired enough to just say fuck it. The cat has been fed, and I’m just going to crawl into bed at this point.
Hugs for everyone, and I hope you sleep well! Or have an awesome day!
There's a Mirror on the Wall 