
The Hobbit Fancast: Desolation of Smaug [1]
Idris Elba as Bard the Bowman
Karidja Touré as Sigrid
Wilson Radjou-Pujalte as Bain
Lijya Jewett as Tilda

The Hobbit Fancast: Desolation of Smaug [1]
Idris Elba as Bard the Bowman
Karidja Touré as Sigrid
Wilson Radjou-Pujalte as Bain
Lijya Jewett as Tilda
Accidentally Married/Magical Accidents
Thorin is the king, but it’s not like he really has a kingdom. They are a people without a land and he has to do at least as much as everyone else to keep them in one piece because he feels the responsibility of his position. This means that sometimes he has to do things that the nation they live among wouldn’t consider legal.
Luckily he knows Nori, who wouldn’t do things legally if there was any opportunity to not. This is the main source of contention between them, but they are able to get along well enough most of the time.
Until Nori finds something shiny that he wants to steal when they have a specific goal in mind and Thorin gets mad at him. And then they fight and there’s accidentally magic binding them to each other. They have to be within sight, preferably touching, at all times.
Since it was an accident during something illegal, they can’t really tell anyone what happened. So they have to quietly try and figure it how to break the spell. And meanwhile, everyone thinks they got married because they’re suddenly so touchy with each other, and that’s a good cover to stay close to one another, so they go along with it.
Will they actually fall in love? (This is fanfic. They will almost certainly fall in love.)
Rules: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.
- Historical AU
- Royal AU
- Modern AU
- Coffee Shop AU
- Bar/Restaurant
AU- Bookshop AU
- Florist AU
- Hospital AU
- Dance
AU- Airport/Travel AU
- Neighbour AU
- Roommate AU
- Detective AU
- Bodyguard AU
- Criminal
AU- Prison AU
- War AU
- Circus AU
- Summer Camp AU
- Teacher AU
- Dystopian AU
- Space AU
- Performer
AU- Soulmate AU
- Fairy Tale AU
- Massage Fic
- Sick/Injured Fic
- Proposal Fic
- Wedding Fic
- Holiday Fic
- Birthday Fic
- Pregnancy Fic
- Baby Fic
- Vacation Fic
- Bathtub Fic
- Text/Letter Fic
- Coming Out Fic
- Grief
Fic- Survival/Wilderness Fic
- Almost Kiss
- First Kiss
- The Big Damn Kiss
- Dance
of Romance- Flowers of Romance
- Chocolate
of Romance- Blind Date
- Not a Date
- Fake Dating
- Fake Married
- Arranged Marriage
- Accidentally Married
- Marriage of Convenience
- Mutual
Pining- Secret Relationship
- Established
Relationship- Awful First Meeting
- Forgotten First Meeting
- Accidental Eavesdropping
- Interrupted Declaration of Love
- Poorly Timed
Confession- Love Confession
- Love Confessor (Character A confessing their love
for Character B to Character C)- Everybody
Knows/Mistaken for Couple- Star Crossed Lovers
- It’s Not You, It’s Me
- It’s Not You, It’s My
Enemies- Character in Peril
- Heroic Sacrifice
- Flirting Under Fire
- Locked in a Room
- Twenty-Four
Hours to Live- Stranded on A Desert
Island- Stranded Due to Inclement Weather
- Huddling for Warmth
- Bed Sharing
- Did They or Didn’t They?
- In Vino Veritas
- Above the Influence
- Anger Born of Worry
- Green-Eyed Epiphany
- The Missus and the Ex
- Second Love
- Intimate Artistry
- Married to the Job
- Innocent Physical Contact
- I Didn’t Mean to Turn
You On- Aroused By Her Voice
- Erotic
Dreams- First Time
- Unexpected Virgin
- PWP
- Kink
- Makeovers
- Hair Brushing/Braiding
- Sleep
Intimacy- Scars
- Time Travel
- Curses
- Magical Accidents
- Accidentally Saving
the DayCOME AT ME.
I’ll play! (Just please, do not send me any with PWP, ‘cause right now, very much nope.)
Crossovers welcome, fandoms in tags.
Nwalin Week Day 1 – Smoke
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
It was his mother’s favorite saying. It meant that he’d said too much and she probably wouldn’t have realized he’d done something if he’d just kept quiet. It took him too long to realize that he gave himself away, but it meant the lesson stuck when he finally figured it out.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
Dori had first heard it from their mother, of course. And probably caught in to the meaning far faster. He always had made Nori work things out himself. But he had picked up the saying. When people were discontent, something was wrong. When people were hurt, something was probably wrong at a high level.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
He probably should have figured it out sooner. After all, Dwalin was smoking hot, and the sex… But even if he’d thought of the saying (he hadn’t), he wouldn’t have wanted to understand what it meant.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
He did think of it, later, when they cuddled close and talked about all of the things they could do, now that they were they. And they were different than before, and needed a way to show it. To show that they had changed and were bound together. Soon everyone would know, but the first time he said it they’re foreheads were touching and he was curled in the strongest, tenderest arms he knew. He said it, and they knew through their laughter that it was right.
Where there’s Smoke, there’s Fire.
Oh my…
Okay, so my friend Chloe just pointed this out, and it’s amazingly accurate:
“Because of the scarcity of Dwarf-women, their secrecy and similarity in
appearance to males, and their lack of mention, many Men failed to
recognize their existence.”Okay, so?
Well, Tolkien was a philologist, and a Norsist, and that means he knew Völuspá well enough to pull the names of every dwarf from Dvergatal and he had a pretty firm grasp Old Norse grammar.
In fact, he grasped it well enough that he knew if you dropped an n from a name ending in –inn, it changes from the masculine
definite encliticto the feminine.
Well, what the hell does any of this mean?
Well, I give you the names of the Dwarves from the Hobbit, as they appear in Dvergatal (stanzas 14-16) and in the order they appear:
Dvalins,* Dáinn,
Bívurr, Bávurr, Bömburr, Nóri,
Óinn,
Þorinn, Þráinn, Fíli, Kíli,
Glóinn, Dóri, ÓriNow, in the Hobbit, they’re named as follows:
Dwalin, Dáin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Óin, Thorin, Thráin, Fíli, Kíli, Glóin, Dori, Ori.
Now, you notice something with the way those names got changed? That’s right, he changed the masculine -inn definite suffix to -in, which is feminine.**
That means that, at least grammatically, Dwalin, Dáin, Thorin, Thráin, and Glóin are female Dwarves.
Since we know Tolkien was meticulous about his grammar, this was done most likely as an in-joke (lol we’re so learnèd about Norse grammar that my comment on Dwarf women being indistinguishable from men is hilarious because of this grammatical funniness)
But there’s a not-inconceivable chance that the Dwarves were using the masculine pronouns in Westron because that’s what the Men who met them used, despite the fact that a third of the company was female, and
hey, it’s kinda neat to think he wrote a bunch of Dwarf-ladies going on an adventure.*–ins is the masculine Genitive definite article suffix in Old Norse
**He also dropped the double-r suffix, but -r as the root is still, in general, a masculine grammatical feature
given Tolkien’s general approach to women he’s unlikely to have intended this but I don’t care I’m going to accept it as canon anyway
isn’t there stuff in the appendixes about the Hobbit language having ’-a’ as a masculine name ending and ’-o’ as feminine but then he changed all the Hobbit names anyway?
Bilb-O
‘O’ and ‘e’ are feminine suffixes in hobbit-dialect Westron, which is not English.
Tolkien translated/Anglicized the names of all the hobbits into names that both sounded appropriate for their gender and reflected the aesthetic impression a native Westron speaker would get when meeting hobbits and hearing their language. It’s not about how The Hobbits Are Actually Girls (though that would be cool) it’s about how “Bilbo Baggins” gives a certain feeling when you as an English speaker encounter it – you get an idea of a character, perhaps, and it sounds just a little ridiculous – but you wouldn’t get that feeling from “Bilba Labingi”, the original hobbit-dialect Westron name.
(As to “Tolkien’s general approach to women”, yes, the man was sexist, I’m not going to deny that, but he was also meticulous and perfectionist when it came to language and there is no way this was accidental. No way at all. Not when he wrote an entire fake-academic-journal fanfic essay about why the Sindarin word ros had two translations, justifying it with in-universe linguistic drift.)
That being said, yeah, quite a lot of those dwarves were ladies. Headcanon accepted.
Headcanon so accepted.
Richard Armitage about Thorin & Co. [7/8]
[Thorin] is cantankerous and often cross. I found this characteristic interesting and, at the beginning, it was a bit hard for me to determine where it sprang from. I’d say this surly and aggressive side is something all the warrior dwarves share, but Thorin, on top of that, cant stand the thought that he’s been stripped of his kingdom in such a violent way. In addition, he’s suffered the loss of his rank in the dwarf society, going from the privileged status of a royal family member to that of a wandering warrior. He’s ashamed of such a decline..
So, like… two apartments ago, I saw this pic by probably Lady Northstar of Thorin shaved and in Elf style clothes kneeling calmly and a bit of head story about Thorin being a sacrifice to Thranduil for aid against Smaug and being very changed after 100 years when they get him back.
And I thought “that’s a really cool plot idea. How would I do it?” (Because that’s just what I do – I am completely an idea thief)
It has stuck around in the back of my mind for a while and now I feel like poking it. It is far less sexy than the original.
@lynati asked for: Beorn, Lindir, aaand…oh hell…Dis?
Fake Date: Lindir, because honestly, not my type.
Slow Burn: Beorn. He’s got brain weasels, and I’ve got brain weasels, and aro/ace anyway, so. Time. Lots of time needed for that to work at all.
Enemies-to-lovers: Which leaves Dis, and honestly, while I’m not sure what would put us on opposite sides of something, I can see it working.
And, because I can:
Fake date: Beorn and Dis – with, likely, aid from her sons, and lots of private laughter at the looks on some people’s faces.
Slow Burn: Beorn and Lindir – why not?
Enemies-to-Lovers: Dis & Lindir – it’s going to take a while, and there are going to be people who are not happy about them getting past “politely advesarial”.
// new & improved kiss meme with extra feels courtesy of a planning session with @spiritmark!
Send a number + a pairing = get a kiss!
- First kiss
- Painful kiss
- Sad kiss
- Desperate kiss
- Comfortable kiss
- Tipsy kiss
- Laughing kiss
- In the dark kiss
- ‘We might die tomorrow’ kiss
- ‘You nearly died’ kiss
- ‘We’re actually being kind of silly for once’ kiss
- A kiss that shouldn’t have happened
- A kiss we had to wait for
- ‘I don’t have the words right now so here’s a kiss’
- A kiss because I have literally been watching you all night and I can’t take anymore
- Teasing kisses on every bit of visible skin
- Hungry kisses on every bit of newly visible skin as clothing is slowly peeled away
- Kisses because I missed you and you really shouldn’t stay away so long
- Kisses because I don’t want you to go and maybe I can convince you to stay just a few minutes longer
- Kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better
I’m game. Just. I am a multi-fannish person and would like prompts in multiple fandoms. Crossovers welcome too. Fandoms I’ll write in are in the tags.
Look! I did a writing!
The delegation was followed by a guard. They were trusted more than many – Dwarves, no matter how distant, were accorded trust that Elves and Men rarely were – but it was a fool who allowed a stranger to walk unattended in his home. Someday, perhaps, an open show of arms would not be needed, but Erebor was newly retaken and they had to establish vets among the other kingdoms. They had spend too long as paupers on the road.
Dori moved to join them, fussing with the way his coat draped over his shoulders. He had spend some time in the Orocarni in his youth, and Thorin wanted someone who could understand what the delegation said privately, they had used Khuzdul often enough to speak freely while Nem were none the wiser. Why let others do the same to them?
He looked up, face dropping into the blandly pleasant customer service expression as he greeted them. He started a quick tally to make sure they were all there, but quickly stopped, color draining from his face. "Burel?“
“My mother,” one of the delegates answered curiously, her Westron well practiced.
As he looked longer, Dori did see the differences, especially the pale blue of her eyes. "Gerel?“ he breathed.
She stared at him a moment before her eyes flew wide. "Father?”