poplitealqueen:

the-last-hair-bender:

sanerontheinside:

lilyrose225writes:

forcearama:

aalcalinaa:

ironmyownpants:

obiwanskenobiss:

obi-wan christ almighty, he’s going to fucking kill you

fuck first, kill later. 

Is there someone or something this man doesn’t flirt to

Short answer: no. 

I’m pretty sure it’s like, totally involuntary for him. He no longer controls it. 

That hopeless man will flirt with men, women, Sith Lords, holograms, Force Ghosts, mythical creatures, inanimate objects…it doesn’t matter if they’re trying to fight him, or save his life, or discuss a trade agreement, or push him into a river of lava, or review military orders, or if they’re just, you know, sitting there because they’re a potted plant. This man will flirt with anything

I mean, I dunno.  This line reads to me like he’s taunting Maul for losing the last time they faced off.

^THIS

THIS IS ME
I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHEN I’M FLIRTING APPARENTLY
WTF
PPL TELL ME I WAS FLIRTING AND THAT WAS SUCH NEWS TO ME?

@poplitealqueen

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a master of the taunt flirt.

Is he flirting? Probably.

Is he taunting? Probably.

Is he using deadpan sarcasm to hide the fact that he’s scared shitless at that moment? Hell fucking yes. That’s what Obi-Wan does. Sarcasm is both a shield and a weapon for that man.

“When in doubt, flirt with it.”

#the-last-hair-bender#obi-wan kenobi#Darth maul#lord high king of the sarcastic taunt flirt#he totally knows what he’s doing too#it’s a great way to catch your enemy unawares#it’s a shame maul is ace and therefore immune#but I bet he flirts by mistake too#he’s just one of those guys#his charm is always at 50000% even when the shit is getting kicked out of him#the sarcasm level just ebbs and flows#obi-wan may not have trusted politicians but he would have made a great one (via @poplitealqueen)

*points at the bolded tags* That. That so much. I am that, I do that, and I love the idea that Maul does that too.

(He also probably either has no clue the other people think he’s flirting, or he’s using what he has learned is perceived as flirting by other people to knock them off balance because it keeps him from ending up dead, and there is no in between.)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ladyslamboleyn:

robbierreyes:

ladyslamboleyn:

robbierreyes:

@ladyslamboleyn

imagine Thor being invited to seder by the other avengers (who r Jewish) and they make him recite the 4 questions

he does a really good job bc he’s super passionate

He learns the hebrew and the next year when they ask him to read the 4 questions again he sings them in Hebrew and everyone is shocked except Jane cause she helped teach him.

Imagine Purim at the Avengers tower, like Tony decides to have a huge Purim mask ball and as a joke Steve comes as the Falcon and Sam comes as Captain America but no one is even vaguely surprised by this. 

Jane and Darcy has a traditional jewish wedding. Their mothers literally could not be prouder and are the happiest mother of the brides in the world. Jane’s bubbe brags constantly about how her grand daughter is the scientist who helped save the world with Thor.

Bucky has a rough time with Yom Kippur. It’s a day for atoning for you sins but he isn’t sure he’ll live long enough to atone for everything he feels guilty for.

Billy struggles with the lack of hell in judaism more than he cares to admit. There are people, people who hurt his family, people who hurt our people that he doesn’t want to go heaven. Forgiveness is good and it’s key principal in judaism but….Somethings aren’t worth forgiving.

Tony used to have a hard time on Purim when he started recovery, but now that he’s been sober longer its easier to stay away from the wine on Purim. His parties are dry, though, and no one seems to really mind because he makes them so much fun

The avengers always throw a little party for their favorite space tree Groot on Tu B’Shevat

I fricking love these headcanons ❤

Unspoken Rules of being a clone

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

the-last-hair-bender:

punsbulletsandpointythings:

sauntering-down:

makinitupasigetalong:

  1. Brothers fight together and help one another
  2. Never let harm come to another brother if you can prevent it
  3. Never tell the jedi if you’re having nightmares
  4. Never tell the jedi about the mini-golf course the ARC’s built in the Couresaunt barracks.
  5. If the jedi get weird, just roll with it.

6. Do not eat anything the Wolfpack provides you without extensive questioning first unless it’s in its original packaging.  If you’re told ‘don’t ask’, don’t eat it.

7. Yes, regaining consciousness on the floor of the refresher, covered in blood, with various injuries and/or no memory of what you were doing the night before is one of those things that should be reported to a medic.

8. Your mouth is not a field toxin test.

9. Trading armor with one of your brothers and swapping identities for the day is an acceptable form of entertainment, just try not to get deployed with the wrong battalion.

10. Share your contraband.

Oh my god I need so many armor-swap fics PLEASE

Jfc I need all the goddamn armor swap fics. All of them.

5:  Applies particularly to the 212th, 7th Sky, and the 501st.  Daily.

6.  Wolffe is a lying asshole who is far too entertained by watching brothers try to eat Kel Dor rations.  Do not trust him unless he’s telling you to do something involving killing clankers.

7. DAMMIT FIVES, WE MEANT WHAT WE SAID THE FIRST SIX TIMES THIS HAPPENED TO YOU.

8. GODSDAMMIT, FIVES!

9.  Rex and Cody do this one day that’s supposed to be a nice, quiet, off-day of no battles.  Then shit hits the fan.  Cody has an awesome day of basically getting to act like a crazy person, which he usually represses because Dignity and Commanding Officer; Rex basically spends his day trying to figure out how Cody does his job WITHOUT acting like a crazy person, because what even is all this shit, how do you even–why is this even a thing??

(Also he’s kind of terrified they’ll promote him, because he’s good at it.  Kenobi isn’t allowed to say a word. No. Do not. Will blow you daily for the rest of the war, just PLEASE DO NOT TELL CODY I CAN DO HIS JOB.)

10. Cody and Rex get so drunk afterwards.

poplitealqueen:

mirandatam:

shetanshadowwolf:

punsbulletsandpointythings:

poplitealqueen:

Sometimes I just want to have a Jedi Master Shmi Skywalker. But not, like, a Shmi who was raised in the créche and somehow had Anakin while being a Jedi. I’m talking about newly-freed Shmi Skywalker accompanying her nine-year-old son to the Jedi Temple, and after the Council talks to Anakin they want to talk to her too. And they’re like, we’re not sure we can accept your son, he’s too scared and he has attachments

But, like, this is Newly-Freed Shmi Skywalker, and she never has to worry about getting sold again, never has to worry about getting beaten, about being someone else’s property, and sure all these people are called Masters but Shmi Skywalker is her own master now, and she walks into that room without an ounce of fear in her bones, and she’s like “why would I want my son to join you”

And somehow they get into a discussion on philosophy and the nature of attachment and by the end of it at least half the council is like “holy shit this woman hasn’t ever seen a jedi before a week ago and here she is holding her own against master yoda in a debate about morality what do we do” and the other half is like “I want this woman to be my padawan right now

And eventually, of course, she ends up as Master Yoda’s padawan.

So here’s the pretty conservative, no-older-padawans I’m-done-with-padawans Grand Master Yoda with not a slightly overaged but fully adult padawan 

And Anakin’s just sort of off in the background happy, with his mom in a safe space so he doesn’t have to worry about her, and Shmi giving tips like “he’s been a slave of course he gets anxiety about calling someone master” and other useful parental advice, and probably adopting Obi-Wan too (like honestly I get that he and qui-gon eventually got on but we both know that there is boatloads of internalized childhood bullshit going on there)

But Shmi trains with Yoda (Dooku’s sister-padawan oh my god) and I just sort of feel like she becomes the Jedi ideal but in a really weird way. Like she’s calm – of course she is, she knows how to be patient, how to endure – but also she is deeply attached, deeply emotive.

And there’s this concept that Fialleril uses, where Ekkreth is talking about how the Sith try to be a desert sandstorm, and Jedi try to be the bedrock – but he’s the desert, storm and sand and bedrock and all of it, and it’s just such a cool concept.

Shmi is just so cool sorry I had to write that out I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and wanted to share

***

This is an amazing stupendous idea and I want a 50k word fanfic on my desk by Monday.

#imagine her BEING CLONE MOM [via Poplitealqueen]

Okay but IMAGINE HER CLONES

You think Rex and Cody are protective of their Jedi?

You think Wolffe is protective of Plo?

Some poor new Shiny makes some mention to Wolffe about him being the most protective clone or some such and Wolffe starts laughing like “No, no kid. Go talk to General Skywalker?”

“Why would I talk to him?”

“No not the young one. The other one.”

The kid goes pale. “There’s another on?!” Because even he knows how batshit crazy Anakin can be when it comes to plans and things.

Wolffe just pats the kid on the shoulder and points him in the right direction. Right on queue, in walks General Shmi Skywalker and five or six of her men, all of whom are radiating loyal and protective fury to a terrifying degree.

Shmi was a slave, she learns quickly. When she hears her men speaking in Mando’a, she asks them to teach her. Now, 90% of their battle plans and interactions, on and off the field, are in Mando’a. She learns all their names in a heartbeat. They come to her with everything, from concerns about a battle plan (She immediately gathers all the people necessary and the rework the whole thing) to relationship issues. And every single man under her command would die for her in a heart beat, but they would also do their damnedest to come back alive because they know that dying for her is the last thing she ever wants them to have to do.

…. is there links to the beauty of this…??? (or if someone does write, holy crud, pleeeeease)

@poplitealqueen​, @punsbulletsandpointythings​, @… holy fuck I can’t believe this has over 400 notes, so just @ all of you

It’s not exactly 50k, but you did say by Monday, yeah?

Also on ao3

Shmi watches the Jedi, watches him bet with Watto, watches him watch Ani.

Keep reading

FUCKIN BLESS YOU MIRA YOU ACTUALLY DID IT IM SCREECHING

phosphorescent-naidheachd:

morgynleri:

jhaernyl:

But what if Mace Windu had trained Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master to Padawan?

*gives you a long Look* I do not need more AUs. And I already made Plo Koon Obi-Wan’s master in Green Fire.

*hums for a moment*


Depa had passed her Trials only a year before, and no one expected Mace to take another Padawan so soon, especially not when he’s been asked to be part of the High Council. Among the Initiates, there’s surprise – mostly happy, some bewildered, and a few furious – that he’s taken Obi-Wan as his Padawan. Especially after the last fight he had with Bruk, and the rumors that he was going to be sent to the Agricorps as just another wash-out.

Yoda is disappointed that his plans didn’t work, but there will be other Initiates to tempt his grand-Padawan with, to convince Qui-Gon to take up teaching again. Maybe one of the slightly younger Initiates who were part of Obi-Wan’s circle of friends.

Adi and Tahl and Micah are just glad it didn’t take more than a little bribery to get Mace to take on Obi-Wan. Now they just need to keep finding people they can bribe or blackmail – or take Padawans themselves – to keep others from falling prey to Yoda’s attempts to “help” Qui-Gon. He’ll take another Padawan when, and if, he’s ready.

Obi-Wan is slightly bewildered himself, but glad, so glad, that someone wanted him. He’d begun to think no one did, and it takes a few months for him to stop fiddling with the short braid tucked behind his right ear, and believe that it’s real.

Mace hadn’t needed the bribe to rescue Obi-Wan from Yoda’s plans for the boy to be taught by Qui-Gon, though he wasn’t above taking the opportunity to delegate most of his paperwork to others for the next year. He might even let them off the hook if the others take on Obi-Wan’s creche-mates as their Padawans, and remove them from the potential of Yoda’s meddling.

No, he’d seen what Xanatos’s Fall had done to Qui-Gon, and he didn’t have any desire to inflict that sort of borrowed trauma on a child. Obi-Wan may need better control of his temper, and a better handle on his emotions, but he doesn’t need to become someone else’s emotional crutch. Especially not because of a meddlesome old troll.

Although Mace isn’t above making Qui-Gon his deputy when he takes Obi-Wan on field work, and leaving the older man with all the frustration and headache of the paperwork of a Council seat. He does think Qui-Gon needs to stop trying to distance himself from the Order quite as much as he is.

Ahhh, this is all I want! (Not so, I lie – I want a lot of SW fics – but I do love this.) So much yes to all of it!

Yoda meant well, but no one individual – especially a child! – should be placed in a position where they are under implicit pressure to help prop up and heal someone else, particularly when that someone else is an adult. Nor should a child have to frequently act as someone else’s moral compass. This isn’t to say that being Qui-Gon’s padawan was a bad thing for Obi-Wan – on the contrary! they learned a lot from one another and cared deeply for one another and absolutely had their good times – but Qui-Gon also inadvertently exacerbated Obi-Wan’s insecurities a lot. He was still healing from Xanatos’ betrayal and wasn’t emotionally ready to become a full-time mentor to a child again, which led to him making some pretty appalling decisions wrt Obi-Wan *cough*Melida-Daan*cough*. Yoda would have been better off roping Qui-Gon into teaching some creche classes; it would have forced him out of his moping, would have reinforced the fact that the Order clearly didn’t blame him for Xanatos’ Fall and still trusted him, and it would have given him a way to interact with and benefit from the innocent enthusiasm of small children without making him solely responsible for their welfare. Spending time with the younglings might have eventually reminded him of the good times he had with his previous padawans… and possibly even led to him making a connection with one of said younglings and taking them on as his padawan of his volition.

Meanwhile, MACE. Yessss, give me all of the multi-faceted Mace Windu characterizations. Mace is stern and forbidding in his official position, certainly, but he is a good man and a deeply dedicated Jedi, and I’ve always felt that he has a wicked sense of humor hiding somewhere under that implacable mask. I have a serious weakness for fics where Mace acts as a mentor to Obi-Wan and/or they become friends.

Obi-Wan is incredibly devoted to Qui-Gon in canon, so imagine how he would be with a mentor who had always wanted him, who didn’t need to be bribed and begged and threatened in order to take him on, whom he didn’t need to offer to die for in order to prove his worth. I think there would have been some serious hero worship involved. Which isn’t to say that their path as Master and Padawan would have been without its roadbumps! 

But what would a Mace-trained Obi-Wan look like? 

I think he’d be more confident of himself and his place in both the Order and with his Master. Mace tends to be more by-the-book than Qui-Gon – especially after his promotion to the Council, whereupon I think he felt it his duty to set a good example – but would that have exacerbated Obi-Wan’s own traditionalist tendencies? Would Obi-Wan be even more rigid and judgmental than he is in canon? Or would the knowledge that his place was secure make him adhere less tightly to conservative ways since he would no longer feel that he had to constantly prove himself? 

As someone who has been able to see Shatterpoints ever since he was a boy, I think Mace would understand Obi-Wan’s “bad feelings” better than Qui-Gon and be able to help Obi-Wan learn how to cope with them. While both Mace and Obi-Wan are strong in the Unifying Force, I’ve always interpreted Mace as being fairly strong in the Living Force too – he’d have to be, in order to use Vaapad – so I don’t think Obi-Wan’s education would be too one-sided. 

Would Mace eventually train Obi-Wan in Vaapad as a method of emotional control? I think Obi-Wan would want to learn it, would want to imitate his mentor, but that doesn’t necessarily translate into Mace teaching it to him. It isn’t just a matter of trust, it’s simply that Vaapad isn’t meant for everyone. Different lightsaber forms will suit different Jedi. Honestly, I can see it going either way.

I… might have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. 😉

luminous beings are we they called you forethought ooh I like thisbut then what about Ani? because no one will ever convince me that Qui-Gon would teach him well I wonder what Ani would be like if he was part of Mace’s lineage?

(tags via @hurricane-in-a-teacup)

*tilts head* Huh. I will have to think about that, and reblog this again later with how that might turn out. If I don’t just turn the thought into fic, but that would take longer.

And that could be either Anakin is taught by Obi-Wan after Obi-Wan had been taught by Mace, or it could be Anakin is Obi-Wan’s Padawan-brother, while Mace takes on teaching Anakin. Either one could be fun!