Tag: depression

Bedtime 13 Nov 16

I’m going to crawl into my bed and sleep and hopefully wake up tomorrow in at least a slightly better mood. Not having to tell my brain that (a) we’re not doing stupid shit, no, no matter what potentially lethal foolishness you suggest, and (b) damnit brain just because being able to reach out allowed for a slight lift of mood and someone was able to elicit a giggle does not mean that the spike of negative emotion a moment before wasn’t real, just faked… well, it would be enough.

Hugs for everyone, and I hope you sleep well when you get there.

scifilesbians:

felitomkinson:

i know we all like to Joke & Bond over how depressed we are and make jokes about existential dread bc we really are absolutely fucking depressed and there’s certain comfort and humor in knowing we’re not alone but. god i wish none of us were sad. living like this isn’t fun at all and i hope it gets easier and softer for all of you

11 Nov 16

Not actually bedtime, so shouldn’t call the post that. Am, however, noping out for the rest of the evening, to go listen to loud music, and smash virtual things. Because the anger just ramped up in a bad way, and I’m struggling not to snap at everything and everyone.

Hugs for everyone, I love you, I hope you sleep well, and I will be back tomorrow.

Today, 11 Nov

Now that I’m coherent today. Am on, but not even trying to keep up with my dashboard past five pages back at a time. Will do some checking of my short list, but even there, only a limited amount. Slightly more sociable today, but still needing to minimize social interaction that I’m aware can be overwhelming and make it harder to manage the ADHD and depression.

And part of doing this post at this point is tracking things and being aware of my headspace, so. I’m probably going to be doing these so long as I keep thinking about it.

Also, I think one of my responses I’ve been working on is starting to become more automatic. Which is – when there are things that I am pissed at but cannot change, I tend to try to be more cheerfully supportive of other people, because it does help my mood when I’m able to cheer other people up/help others. (Might not be the best coping method, but fuck it, it makes the world a better place, so *phbpt*. And I do try to not overextend myself with it.)

(Anyone who’d rather not see these, the tags to block are “update on the state of me” and “morgyn tracks things”.)

Today

Still going to be doing minimal tumblr. Activity page is up, so in theory I’ll hear message pings, and ask box/@ tagging generate emails which generate phone pings. I’m going to queue up a couple not-new-today pieces of writing for my writing slots in my queue for today, and otherwise mostly keep myself focused elsewhere today.

Just. Depression is a very vicious brain weasel once it really gets hold, and right now, trying to deal with social media is not helping, so. My queue is good for a week at my usual volume right now, hopefully I will be back to normal tumblring before it slides back to half volume or I run out.

Bedtime 9 Nov 16

Early to bed tonight because I’ve had five hours of sleep, and spent the day still angry. There’s a post that’s gone across my dash at least once that has something about depression can manifest as anger (there were more words than that, but still, the gist of it), and I’ve known that’s a part of how depression manifests for me for a long time. It’s a large part of why when I get to this point, I don’t tend to interact with people, because I’m prone to lashing out a lot sooner and for a lot less reason when hitting this point.

I did manage to mostly eat my pot of chicken-rice-vegetables, and added butter and cream and cheese to each bowl, which is a win. I tend to forget to eat when stressed, or the brain weasels are loud. I don’t know that I drank enough, but at this point, I will try again on that front tomorrow.

I got words, in large part thanks to the anon who asked about Anakin meeting S1 DS9 people. Not my desired word count, but over halfway there, and far past my mini nano word count minimum.

Hugs for everyone, and a hope that you’re able to sleep tonight.

Depression-Busting Exercise Tips For People Too Depressed To Exercise – The Establishment

kittensandcoffeeandbeautifuldays:

221beemine:

stepfordgeek:

rawraceli:

blackraincloud:

unbossed:

star-anise:

Oh hey look, something that ISN’T TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT 😀

… Step 1. Realize that you should exercise. Step 2 ? Step 3. HEALTH!

When you’re depressed, that question mark can be a barely navigable labyrinth of garbage fires fueled by physical and mental exhaustion, self-loathing, defeat, and frustration. The last time I found myself trying to hack through that mess during a particularly dark period, I started to come up with my own list of bare-bones, practical tips to help me face the idea of moving again. Now I’m sharing them, in case they might help someone else in a similar position. I stress the word “might.” If you’re depressed, the last thing you need is another a-hole telling you what you should do. But if you’re looking for somewhere to start, I’ve been there too.

First heading? “You don’t have to exercise.” I love this entire piece. It’s going on facebook, that’s how much I love it. A+

“The perfect body is a breathing one. Anything that serves those ends is worth considering. Everything else is noise.”

@221beemine

“Most of these training tips and listicles read like they came from people who have faced very little adversity in their lives, and who think that their own health is entirely the product of their own hard work.”

fucking instant reblog

I love this.

Depression-Busting Exercise Tips For People Too Depressed To Exercise – The Establishment

Bedtime 24 Oct 16

New headphones tomorrow. Hopefully will help with the asshole neighbor problem, because trying to get those bastards to turn the too loud music down, even at everyone-is-fucking-trying-to-sleep at night is a futile effort.

I am exhausted from most of a week of short or troubled sleep, stress over the furnace, stress caused by asshole neighbors and their music, hormones playing merry hell with my emotional stability, and more days than not with above-baseline pain. I am so tired I keep randomly crying, I’ve had three screaming melt downs today, not to mention one last week sometime (maybe two weeks ago?) And to top it all off, I probably haven’t eaten enough or had enough fluids in for the last week, week and a half. Because I forget to eat when stressed.

Just. I need a couple days of silence, sufficient food that does not require lots of work to cook, and several nights worth of eight or nine hours of solid sleep.

Hugs for everyone, and I hope y’all sleep well.