Tag: bisexuality

the-sun-of-rome-is-set:

chronolith:

systlin:

tomcats-and-tophats:

garliccloves:

classical-cacophony:

wardencommanderrodimiss:

this is too real

Note this doesn’t work for bi girls!! 

Mara Wilson is a bisexual woman

Boy bands are almost overwhelmingly cultivated around the easiest way to sell shit to young girls, which very heavily leans into societally dominant heterosexual love story narratives, which in themselves tend to focus on specific attitudes towards gender roles, presentation, and styles of attraction. 

Bi women are not straight so we do not conceptualize our gender and attraction the same way a straight woman would because we do not function under the same societal pressures and dynamics. Ergo, the marketing around and content within the songs by many boy bands can be incredibly alienating to a bi woman audience even if they still experience attraction to men because we often do not experience that attraction in a way palpable to or even considered by those cultivating the public image of these bands.

Accusing Mara Wilson, a bi woman, of bi erasure, for sharing an amusing anecdote on her own experience, is ridiculous. But it is also an incredible disservice to bi women like myself who are more than acutely aware that we are (and always have been) a far cry from this media’s target audience – and it is, in fact, a demonstration of the effects of bi erasure that people so stalwartly align us with heterosexuality that we’re accused of erasing ourselves when we talk about our alienation from mainstream m/f-focused media.

As another bi woman, I had to blink and think if I even know any boy bands. 

I don’t. 

Same. I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to remember any boy bands *ever* and drew a massive blank.

Bi as fuck over here.

Ace lesbian, couldn’t even name a boy band. COULD name a dozen baritones / bass-baritones anytime, though. I just fucking despised pop music even as a teen.

Aro-ace, and while I can remember a couple of boy bands from when I was younger, I’m pretty sure I listened to some of their music as part of my “anything and everything made in the late 90s/early 00s, because I would like something NOT MY PARENTS MUSIC, not even remotely”. None of it is was anything that stuck with me.

(Granted, neither did anything else that involved romance or sex, beyond being able to tolerate it. Love songs do not make it into my most played play lists, and never have, even when I was doing the dating thing because it was expected by my own conception of how society worked.)

asexualspectrumspector:

pastel-kawaii-shitpunk-pokefurry:

star-anise:

robotbisexual:

memestealingasexual:

hottestaceinthisplace:

If you don’t believe being asexual has any negative affect on people I was told by a psychiatrist that none of my relationships count because we didn’t have sex, and
I can’t say I’m gay since I don’t want to have sex with girls.

and I was taken off my antidepressants because they may be lowering the libido I never had in the first place (plus various other reasons, but still immediately, cold turkey, which should NEVER happen unless they’re switching you to something else)

But aphobia doesn’t exist and asexuals are privileged, right?

Sorry to add to this but I wanted to say since I’ve had bad experiences with mental health professionals and biphobia, I usually get asked “but are you sure you are sexually attracted to both sexes, are you sure it’s not just an emotional attraction?!” Like my dude don’t you think I can tell the difference between wanting to date someone and wanting to be friends? Also, due to be gray ace 90% of the time I am not even attracted to anyone but like sure, make me feel guilty that I can’t “prove” my bisexuality.

Sorry too but to add on, being aro isn’t much different. I told my therapist and she was immediately concerned that my meds were repressing “all my emotions” and wanted to take me off them. My insurance ran out and I went off them bc of no money before that happened. She also suggested dating someone anyway to “fix” the “issue” and expressed concern that my emotions (romantic feelings) weren’t present because “I’m suspicious and untrusting of everyone and don’t want to try hard enough.”

Having your orientation medicalized and invalidated is bad enough, but its fucking dangerous to have your meds taken away because you’re not performing relationships the way some doctor thinks you’re required to.

Aaaand this is why we need the bi/pan/ace/aro alliance.

this is why we need to recognize more queer experiences and identities than gay and lesbian, through increased awareness, information and representation.

My hand slipped…  (P.S. It’s transparent!)

blessedharlot:

I’m a 42 year old bisexual, and I came up with the concept of me being half gay and half straight 20 years ago, before I ever met or spoke to another bisexual in any way.

When I did finally meet other bi folks, most of them had come to similar self understandings themselves. There wasn’t a lot of accessible thought on the matter out there and we fought hard for every scrap of understanding we could find.

I don’t know if kids realize this now, but bi folks created that. It was our language. It was bi terminology for ourselves. Maybe some straight folks grasp at that now because the idea is out there, because my generation built it to have some room to breathe and survive.

If you’re bi and you don’t want that concept for yourself you don’t have to use it. But don’t take your personal preference and use it to erase bi history and erase my own history. I am sick of this shit. The half gay/half straight idea is not evil. I’m not gonna say its nuanced or applies to eveyone but it is not obscene.

And if you grew up with people demanding they could define your sexuality then you need to seriously make sure you’re not doing that to other people.

Respect people’s understandings of their own goddamn sexuality.

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH BI!STEVE HAVING TO COME OUT + THE SUBSEQUENT SHITSTORM PLEASE DO THE WRITE

saferforeveryone:

“…of course, people have found this very confusing in light of your relationship with Agent Carter during the war. Tricking a woman into a fake relationship to hide your-”

“It wasn’t a fake relationship.” Steve looks at the journalist like she’s crazy, on purpose. He’s just about sick of people’s wilful misunderstanding of his sexuality, so his new strategy is to treat stupid questions like he can’t possibly comprehend why they’re being asked. 

It sort of works. Nobody likes to look stupid in front of a national icon. 

“But you’re in a relationship with Bucky Barnes.” She ploughs on, slightly perturbed and shooting a glance to someone behind the camera. Steve wouldn’t have to deal with all this bullshit if he hadn’t very publicly yelled at and then kissed his boyfriend for almost getting himself killed (again), but well. Shit tends to happen to him. He’s had worse.

“Yeah. It’s seventy years later, I don’t think Peggy’s mad I moved on.” He smiles tightly like she’s making a joke. If only.

“So you realised you were gay after you were defrosted?”

“I realised I was bisexual at around twelve.” Heavy emphasis on the word, because this is supposed to be the fucking future and he’s getting really tired of how people still can’t seem to grasp the concept. “I was queer when Peggy and I were together and I’m still queer now. It’s not something you do, it’s something you are.”

Well, he probably could’ve held back from saying that. But he’s just about hit the limits of his patience and why can’t he be open about himself now? Everyone keeps telling him all the ways this century is wonderful because people are supposedly allowed to be themselves, why can’t it put its money where its mouth is?

“Commander, I don’t think that’s appropriate language for-”

“I tend to be inappropriate, it gets stuff done.” He smiles politely and stands up to start unhooking his microphones, because this interview is definitely over. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and – still being queer whatever I’m doing with my dick – get back to my job. Pardon my French, ma’am.”

That’s what you call a mic drop, right? he texts Sam on his way out, bracing himself for the absolute bollocking SHIELD PR is no doubt about to rain down on him. They should have studied history harder if they thought he was going to sit pretty and behave, though, so he doesn’t feel too guilty about the shitstorm that’s about to ensue. 

THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL A MIC DROP Sam texts back, along with a bunch of emojis that Steve’s pretty sure mean his friend is proud of him. 

Bucky just texts him a heart. Steve tries not to blush on the subway. 

animentality:

pauladeen-vevo:

spacexualkids:

achilles is so often called gay by the community and straight by society even though he fell in love with men and women. freddie mercury is known as the most famous gay man even though he self identified as bisexual. channing tatum is constantly called straight even though he’s dated men and women. evan rachel wood and angelina jolie and drew barrymore–all self identified bi women constantly called straight.

sappho wrote love poems for both men and women and yalls response to the idea that she might have been bi is “there was no concept of bi/gay back then!! let’s focus on the fact that she was sapphic!!” to the point where her name has become synonymous with gay and she’s called a lesbian icon and y’all only seem to have issues with “concepts” and labels when the concept/label is BI. why am i not surprised?

bisexuality is valid pass it on

woah, i didn’t even know channing tatum or angelina jolie were bisexual. 

the “aces/aros were part of the bi community until they very recently chose to split off, so stop telling them that they have never been queer or that they don’t belong in ‘the LGBT community’” masterpost

nonbinarybisexuals:

autismserenity:

“Many bisexual respondents described bisexuality as a potential or as an essential quality that many people possess, but that only some people express through actual feelings of attraction or sexual behavior.

“According to this definition, people can be – and are – bisexual without ever experiencing an attraction to one sex or the other and without ever having sexual relations with one sex or the other.

“In contrast to lesbian respondents, most of whom define a bisexual as a person who feels attracted to or has sexual relations with both sexes, very few bisexual women define bisexuals as people who necessarily have these actual emotional and physical experiences.”
– Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics, by Paula Rust, in 1995

[Note that yes, she and her respondents are using cissexist mid-90s wording that isn’t inclusive of nonbinary/genderqueer people. We spent much less time educating cis people about gender-inclusive language in the mid-90s. In modern terms, they are saying “to any gender” and “with any gender”.]

“[A]s a bi trans woman who was there and actually saw
aroaces being part of the bi community and putting in the work and
dealing with the oppression…  The bi community was actively rejecting
definitions beyond ‘not gay, not straight’ into the mid-90s, because every definition offered excluded some of its members.”
– @wetwareproblem, from this post

“"[In a 1992 issue of The Advocate], Nona Hendryx’s interviewer
used the word ‘bisexual,’ and Hendryx did not reject the word but said,
‘I try to think of myself as asexual.’“
– Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics, by Paula Rust, again

“When I grew up, heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual were explicitly not specifically sexual. “It’s not about sex!” was a battlecry. This was emphasized frequently as
people would sit there trying to come up with some gotcha that meant
that you couldn’t be gay and a virgin at the same time. Or — and this is
important: that you couldn’t be queer if you weren’t interested in sex. While it’s not necessarily the same as explicitly affirming
asexuality, this was a way in which the asexual experience was made
intelligible under the mainstream organization of sexuality.

“There was a lot of rhetoric that emphasized this point. In particular, that the fixation on the sexual part
of homo/bi-sexuality was actually a form of heterocentrism in which
hets would try to strip queers of the capability for romantic
attraction.

“Yes, there are problems there. Yes, there’s the privileging of romantic attraction as better and more pure than sexual. And it’s worth talking about.

“But that’s not what I’m getting at right now.What I am getting at, is that in the models I grew up with, among the queers I grew up around, both aro and ace people could qualify as not just bi, but bisexual….

“During a time in which being aro or ace (or aroace) was even less intelligible to the mainstream — or even the mainstream queer community — than it is now, where were
the ace and aro bi people? Where did they organize under when trying to
deal with monosexism? Where did they vent their frustrations over LG
exclusion? Where did they openly talk about their attractions? Who were
they fighting alongside?

“Bisexuals.

“They were with the bisexuals.

“They were bisexuals.”
– @atomicbubblegum, from this post

“Lord amighty. Some of us did just live through this. Not every Tumblr person is a teenager. Some of us were there.

“Urgh.

One
of the oldest queer people I personally know is ace, and hung out in
the ‘not gay or straight’ section for ages, but she’s been with us
forever….

“I’m pretty much done with sga people who are too young to have been there talking over bi people who were there.

“Aces were bi only 20 years ago. ’Bi’ was the umbrella diagnosis if you weren’t a gold star gay.

“You kids get off my lawn.“
– @vaspider, both here and right over here

“Was there; can confirm.”
– @persephonesidekick​ here

bonus links:
in which a 1917 essayist explains how aces and other non-heteronormative women are going to destroy feminism, and ultimately, all of human society

in which people have been targeted as queer for asexual behavior for like 150 years 

if you like all this, you might like the asexual history interest group

This is so important! Aces and aros are always welcome on this blog and within this little community

Think Bisexual People Have Straight Passing Privilege? Here’s Why You’re Mistaken

gaywrites:

Bisexual people may not be perceived as queer if they’re dating someone perceived as the “opposite” of their gender – so does that mean they have straight passing privilege?

You might think so, but try considering the perspective in this comic for a more nuanced answer to this question. It’s a breakdown of the assumptions behind the idea of bisexual “straight passing privilege” – and the harm you cause by erasing people’s identities when you make these assumptions.

If you still say that bisexual people have “straight-passing privilege,” please read this comic by Ronnie Ritchie for Everyday Feminism. Please.

Think Bisexual People Have Straight Passing Privilege? Here’s Why You’re Mistaken