…is it crazy I kinda want to see post-Vader Anakin being set up for a blind date?
The whole thing is Han’s idea.
When he first suggests it to Leia, he says he wants to do something nice for the old man, which as cover stories go is frankly terrible. Leia only raises an unimpressed eyebrow. It’s such a bad excuse it doesn’t even deserve a response.
Finally Han gives it up and admits that, okay, fine, he just can’t stand watching Rustbucket get flirted at every time they’re all dragged to some gala or top brass event. Anakin’s clueless act is just embarrassing, and worse, Chewie thinks it’s funny, that traitor.
Leia just goes on looking at him. Luke, though, says, “Uh, Han, I don’t think it’s an act.”
Han stares at him. “Oh come on, kid. No one is that clueless.” Then he stops to consider this, and who he’s talking to. Luke is a very friendly person, and very bad at recognizing the line between friendly and flirting. Half the Rebellion wants to date him and as near as Han can tell, he genuinely has no idea. But still… “Okay, fine, maybe some people are. But your old man was married. He managed to produce the two of you somehow. So he can’t be completely unaware of how these things go.”
Leia snickers at him. Han has the sinking feeling she knows something he doesn’t, but he knows better than to ask when she gets that look in her eye.
So he decides he’s gonna set Anakin up on a date, and Leia can laugh all she wants. He’ll be the one laughing when it works.
His first attempt is a guy named Rav who used to work maintenance in one of the hangars on Home One. These days he’s planetside on Coruscant. Nice guy, a few years older than Anakin, green eyes, a great ass. Han arranges the date at a bar so chill he frankly hates the place himself, but it seems like the kind of scene an older couple might enjoy. (Anakin’s only thirteen years older than you, a little voice in the back of his head says, but he ignores that. It’s too weird to let himself think about.) He tells Anakin that Rav wants to meet up and talk shuttle maintenance, which is such a damn obvious innuendo that he barely manages to restrain a cringe as he says it.
But hey, it works, and Anakin’s off to meet with Rav and Han congratulates himself on a job well done. Leia’s still smirking, but that’s just because she hasn’t yet learned what a great matchmaker he is.
Anakin swings back by Leia’s apartment about three hours later, early enough that Luke’s still there and Han is just a little worried. But it was only a first date, so…that doesn’t have to be bad, does it?
“How’d it go, Rustbucket?” he says.
Anakin shrugs easily and heads for the kitchen to start a pot of tzai. “Not bad. Rav’s got some great ideas for B- and Y-wing class fighters, but his views on TIEs are woefully misinformed.” He grumbles something under his breath. “I understand that there’s a need to bad mouth the enemy fighters in front of the troops, but you don’t need to buy into your own propaganda.”
Han blinks a little. Luke and Leia are snickering behind their hands, and for once, it’s real damn easy to see that they’re twins. He glares at them both.
“Well, all right, but…what about the, uh, social aspect?”
“Huh?” Anakin comes into the living room and sits in the chair across from Han and Leia’s couch. Han can never get over how the guy just…sprawls when he sits. It’s about the least Vader-like mannerism he can think of.
“Did you hit it off?” Han asks.
A brief frown crosses Anakin’s face. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind another chance to correct his opinions on TIEs.” Suddenly he brightens, “I did manage to get him the bartender’s number, though, and I’m pretty sure they’re going out this weekend, so I suppose that’s my good deed for the day.” He says this last very dryly. It’s something his therapist suggested, taking notice of his good deeds and letting himself be proud of them or something like that, and Anakin always snarks about it but Han is pretty sure he’s also following his therapist’s advice, so that’s something.
Anyway, that’s clearly not the important thing here. “Wait,” he sputters. “You…set Rav up on a date…with the bartender?”
Leia looks positively gleeful now and Han is pretty sure she didn’t plan this, but if it turned out she did he wouldn’t even be surprised.
Anakin, though, doesn’t seem to understand what’s got Han in such a fuss. “Sure,” he says with another shrug. “They made a cute couple.”
“I don’t believe this,” Han mutters. What kind of guy plays wingman for his own date? He scrapes a hand over his face and resolves to hold on to whatever dignity he can. “Okay, so Rav’s not your type, huh?”
Anakin only looks at him with an expression of such genuine confusion that Han can’t even convince himself the guy’s pretending. “My type of what?” he says.
A loud snort of laughter escapes Leia, and she tries to play it off as a sneeze. Han isn’t impressed.
“Never mind,” he mutters, and eventually the conversation moves on, but he knows Leia isn’t going to forget about this anytime soon.
*
So okay. Maybe he made a bad call with that first try. Maybe Anakin’s only interested in women? It’s a possibility. Fine. So this time Han will have to find the right woman.
He considers his options carefully. Luke and Leia’s mom was a politician and a founder of the Rebel alliance, smart as hell and also pretty damn stunning. (Leia definitely takes after her mother, he thinks, without the slightest hint of a goofy grin, no matter what Chewie says.) She must have had a terrible sense of humor though. Either that or she put up with Anakin’s awful jokes out of some never before heard of reservoir of patience and goodness. Actually, the way Anakin talks about her, that might be true.
So he’s looking for someone smart, driven, principled, but also somehow willing to endure endless terrible puns. That’s a tall order.
The first person he tries is Mon Mothma. It takes him a couple weeks to work up to asking her, because yeah, there’s nothing about this idea that isn’t awkward. But he’s got to admit, she does fit the profile.
So eventually he gets up the guts to suggest the idea of a date, and Mon Mothma laughs in his face.
Well, Han thinks, muttering to himself and wishing he could erase the last fifteen minutes of his life from existence. In hind sight, that was a pretty stupid idea. He’s never even heard of Mon Mothma going on a date.
“You’ve never heard of Dad going on a date either,” Luke says, smirking. Not for the first time, Han wonders what the hell he was thinking, making Luke his confidant in this. But he needed someone with more insight into Anakin, and he’d be damned if he’d ask Leia.
“That’s different, obviously,” Han says. “He spent twenty years inside a tin can.”
Luke rolls his eyes. “I just don’t understand why you won’t let this go,” he says.
“Because people are always flirting with him!” Han says. “And he’s always pretending not to notice. It’s infuriating.”
“It doesn’t happen that often,” Luke says, and okay, Han thinks, that’s actually true, but still. It happens often enough.
Luke sighs. “If you’re so stuck on that, why don’t you just ask one of the people who’s actually flirted with him?”
Huh. That’s not a bad idea, actually. Why didn’t he think of that.
*
It still takes him a while to plan his strategy, but eventually he manages to set Anakin up on a date with a woman named Meera Yasko. She’s Corellian, he’s pretty sure, but she’s also whip smart and pretty attractive. She’s some kind of attorney at a non-profit or something, and Han’s never been especially keen on people of the legal persuasion, but he figures Anakin might like that.
The old man takes a bit of convincing, but Han is a master of smooth talking (don’t laugh, Leia!) and eventually he gets them set up at a nice swank restaurant and even orders a bottle of wine for the table as a surprise.
*
Anakin comes back from this date a lot more excited, and Han experiences a fleeting moment of smug hope, only to have it crushed beneath Anakin’s heel when it turns out the man is excited for all the wrong reasons.
Apparently, Meera is the chief counsel at a non-profit involved in education for underprivileged youth, whatever the hell that means. They’re an interplanetary organization, too, but it’s not the organization itself that really interests Anakin. Meera has the legal background to cover all of the complicated bits about starting a foundation that Anakin doesn’t really understand (and Han understands even less, if he’s honest), and he thinks they might really be able to get this off the ground.
“Wait,” says Han. “This? What’s this?”
He expects a glare or an eyeroll from Leia and maybe Luke, but instead, they look as curious as he feels.
“Oh,” says Anakin, looking oddly shy. “Right. I haven’t told you yet. I’ve been thinking, well, they’re paying me all this money that I don’t need -” (here he raises a hand to forestall Leia’s usual protest) “- so I want to do something with it. And I thought… Tatooine’s free now, but there’s not exactly a uniform system of education, and many of the communities don’t have necessary supplies or access to training for teachers or -”
“Dad,” says Leia, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
As it turns out, setting up an entire school system takes a lot of work. Who knew, right? It also takes a pretty shocking amount of money, much more than Anakin’s supposedly extravagant yearly salary. That’s not a problem, though, because Meera helps him set up a fundraising program that’s frankly terrifying in its efficiency.
They spend an awful lot of time together, but it’s mostly in her office or over working lunches. Still, Han holds onto hope for a while. After all, she at least was definitely interested. He knows that. But after several months, he finally has to admit defeat. Meera and Anakin have a pretty great working relationship, and Han would even venture to say they’ve become friends, but he still hasn’t seen any evidence that Anakin ever realized she was interested, and it’s pretty clear now that she’s not thinking about him that way any more.
Still. The Padme Naberrie Educational Foundation basically exists because of Han, so he’s counting this one a win.
*
He keeps trying.
There’s a woman named Jasta who likes to dance and, apparently, has terrible taste in art. Not his best choice, but hey, Anakin managed to set her up with a guy they ran into at the art museum, and he seems happy about that, at least.
There’s Varin, who’s an active duty lieutenant in the Republic navy and likes to spend her leave time volunteering with animals. Anakin introduces her to the recently defected Admiral Piett, and damn if the two of them aren’t getting married about five months later. So that worked out, Han thinks, rolling his eyes. But hey, Anakin got a cat out of the deal, which apparently his therapist thinks is great for him, so…there’s that.
There’s Piett himself, which Han still thinks made sense in theory, because Anakin is clearly fond of the guy. But, looking back, he can admit that it’s pretty likely even Piett didn’t know this one was meant to be a date, and Han suspects Anakin may have agreed to the whole thing as an excuse to set Piett up with Varin.
His last attempt is a Twi’lek woman named Dinsa Atray who’s frankly just a little bit terrifying, but then so is Anakin, so Han figures it’s a good match. They actually start meeting up pretty regularly, and Han is starting to feel pretty smug about it, even though Leia still isn’t convinced of his matchmaking skills. But his illusions are cruelly shattered a few weeks later, when dramatic and disturbingly well-documented accusations of sentient trafficking and money laundering bring about the abrupt end of Senator Orn Free Taa’s political career and, eventually, the beginning of his exciting new prison career.
(“Well this was fun,” Han overhears Dinsa tell Anakin. “Let me know if you ever want to destroy a man’s life and reputation again. I’m always game.” Yeah. Maybe more than a little terrifying.)
*
Three years into his self-appointed quest, and Han’s sitting at the dinner table staring at an invitation to the wedding of Mon Mothma and Meera Yasko. He has to admit, he didn’t see that coming. He wonders a bit sourly if Anakin introduced them, too. Honestly at this point he wouldn’t be surprised. The universe is trolling him, clearly.
“Hey, Rustbucket,” he says, because no one’s ever accused him of quitting while he’s ahead. “Who are you bringing as your plus one?”
Leia eyes him with fond derision, and Han gamely ignores her.
It’s three more months before he finally gives up. But he’s not going to admit that.
“You know,” he tells Leia, “I think I can declare this operation a resounding success.”
“Really,” says Leia with a smirk. “Because from where I’m standing it looks like you set my dad up on a dozen blind dates, and he still doesn’t even realize he’s been on one.”
Han waves a careless hand. “Well, from where I’m standing it looks like Operation Get Anakin Skywalker Some Friends was an unqualified success.”
Leia’s face softens and she leans up to give him a lingering kiss. “That’s sweet, Han,” she says, and when he grimaces she laughs. “But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”
Nightbrothers are slaves, for labor, breeding or fighting. Anakin is a former slave.
How does this inform Anakin’s responses to the Nightbrothers when he finds this out and after? Does he even notice this commonality? Why does he continue to de’humanize’, for lack of a better term, the two Nightbrothers they’re tracking?
Thoughts?
I’m going to agree with a lot of what’s already been said? Anakin isn’t a horrible person at the core, tbh, in my head. But he honestly just doesn’t care unless it has a huge personal impact on him. Selective empathy, selective hearing, selective recall on facts, he only remembers events that paint him in a good light, etc. Most of it, I think, is that he’s self-absorbed and has been built up by Palpatine and not called out by the Jedi like he should have. (All Jedi, not just Obi-Wan, mind you. They were all watching him pretty damned close, not just Obi-Wan, they should have been all over their “Chosen One” for his bullshit attitude).
How it impacts Nightbrothers–yes, the racism against other non-humanoids. Also, again, he got out, why didn’t they if they were so against it, they have the Force. Clearly they should be able to solve their own problems as well. It’s, again, the thoughtlessness and lack of true empathy.
A lot of an argument can be made that Anakin overcompensates on his own ego? Because the Jedi rejected, then accepted him, but then Obi-Wan was critical and harsh with him. And Padmé enabled a lot of his worse impulses while trying to support him, at the same time. But yeah, he is kind of self-absorbed, not like even intentionally cruel, but just such a mental disaster of push-pull influences.
I’m not even sure what to DO with Anakin and I hate writing the brat because he is such a disaster. Yes, the rejected-accepted-but-not-really-accepted really screwed with your head and I can see the overblowing of his ego, but then you have Palps gaslighting him, and starting YOUNG. And yes, you have Obi-Wan messing up there too (but the Council screwed up there too–I am not absolving Obi of his guilt in Anakin’s headfuckery–by breathing down Obi’s neck), and they only really managed to figure shit out…during the Clone Wars.
Which, really? You numbnuts become friends when you’re blowing shit up and having people die by the hundreds around you. WOW. Let’s not examine that.
I think, to a degree, some of Anakin’s worst aspects were solidified as a kid in a form of protection from being a slave. Self-absorption or self-defense? And even being a Jedi, with the pushback he would have gotten, would have only made him harden those defenses (making anyone trying to reach him … fail). And yes, ooooh boy did Padme enable the shit out of him. ATOC is horrifying to watch just based on that. I think they enabled each other, almost? I dunno. I side-eye that relationship a little, but hope that if given the time it would have become something healthy (because it ain’t during TCW!!).
But yes, overall, he is in the center of everything going push-pull and it does screw with you. Not a pass, but an interesting character study.
Okay, here’s the thing.
I will be quoting from this whole thread, because there’s a lot to say.
Anakin Skywalker was a slave for the first 9 years of his life.
Complex PTSD is horrible and a complete pain in the ass. It also literally changes the way the brain develops.
Untreated Complex PTSD – and the Jedi really did fuck-all in terms of treatment. Detachment* is pretty much the POLAR OPPOSITE of what should be done – has lots of fun symptoms, and I say “fun” in the same way that surgery without anesthesia is fun.
C-PTSD is distinct from regular PTSD in that it involves a prolonged situation that one can not escape (or feels one can not escape), as opposed to the single event more characteristic of regular PTSD. C-PTSD most frequently occurs in cases of child abuse, and your personality literally forms around it.
C-PTSD involves emotional flashbacks, which can be a lot less obvious than the “regular” flashbacks one gets with other types of PTSD. You get triggered or unconsciously detect a threat – and this can OFTEN be a response to criticism or perceived criticism, or rejection or pereceived rejection – and suddenly you are back at the Worst POSSIBLE emotional place you’ve ever been in, and feeling all of those feelings again and you are STUCK there. To somebody else, it might just look like you had a weirdly intense emotional response.
*C-PTSD is, in many ways, an attachment disorder. When a child is unable to form a secure bond with a parent/caregiver, that affects their ability. Shmi Skywalker did her best, but she was a slave and was unable to protect him, and Anakin could have been sold away from her at any time. There was no security.
A person with C-PTSD from childhood literally never learns the basic lessons of How To Be A Person. How do you relate to people? What are boundaries? How do you Do Feelings? What are they even FOR, anyway?
Emotional dysregulation is a thing that happens when you have never learned to process feelings.
You’re “self-absorbed” because it’s self-defense. You have to be hypervigilant of your environment and minute changes in the people around you, or they might hurt you. If you aren’t, you might die.
“selective empathy, selective hearing, selective recall on facts, he only remembers events that paint him in a good light, etc.”
C-PTSD can actually impair your ability to record and retrieve memories, especially if they’re painful or dealing with feelings you can’t handle. If you don’t know how to process the emotions, or you can’t handle them, your brain hides them from you. Processing emotions is a LEARNED SKILL. If nobody ever modeled How To Handle Feelings for you, that is a PROBLEM.
@deadcatwithaflamethrower can attest that if I’m having a flashback (which often happens when I’m really upset), time sort of blurs and I don’t remember chunks of what happened. It fucking sucks. I’m improving, but it’s with intensive therapy, the likes of which is not provided by the canonical Jedi Order.
But show me the relationships in Anakin’s life where people express
love and affection for him? There’s Padme. His mother, who he was separated from and who died horribly. SORT OF
Obi-Wan, but that’s all tangled up and confused with Obi-Wan’s own
trauma and dilemma of “How do I be a good Jedi?” and so on. Is it any wonder that he latches on to Padme like an octopus? Aside from his mother, who he’s been isolated from, NOBODY has ever shown consistently that they care about him.
How the FUCK do you develop empathy when few people have ever
consistently shown it to you? People are not BORN knowing How
Relationships Work and How To People.
Let’s talk about dissociation!
In simple terms, dissociation happens when you are unable to handle the feelings and events that are happening, so your brain takes you away from the thing happening. Which is really helpful in terms of “not dying because something horrific happened and you can not physically escape” but is significantly less helpful when you are forced to rely on it constantly, or when it happens in response to a trigger in a situation that is not ACTUALLY harmful. It also affects your memory, hugely.
Given the way Vader later behaves as if Anakin Skywalker was a completely different person (”That name no longer has any meaning for me”), I believe he was already accustomed to dissociation as a survival mechanism WELL the end of Revenge of the Sith when he was turned into Vader. (This is also why Dissociative identity Disorder generally develops in children of a certain age range who experience prolonged, extensive trauma.)
Dissociation is ACTIVELY cutting yourself off from your feelings. (Also, recovery from long-term dissociation can involve emotional outbursts of inappropriate intensity while you’re learning how to feel them again. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.)
Most of it, I think, is that he’s self-absorbed and has been built up
by Palpatine and not called out by the Jedi like he should have.
What you are describing is grooming behavior, period. Palpatine does the textbook creepy example of “I know you’re really SPECIAL and AMAZING and SMART, unlike those OTHER people” to a person who has been starved for affection and positive reinforcement, and it works perfectly. This person would, in return, do just about anything for one of the only people who doesn’t treat them like they’re scum. There’s a REASON that the classic abuse tactics are classics.
A lot of an argument can be made that Anakin overcompensates on his own
ego? Because the Jedi rejected, then accepted him, but then Obi-Wan was
critical and harsh with him. And Padmé enabled a lot of his worse
impulses while trying to support him, at the same time.
It isn’t about EGO. It’s about “I only have value if I can do this thing well, and I must constantly prove I have worth”, it’s about acceptance that is completely CONDITIONAL and never feeling that you can find your footing. It’s about a constant fear of rejection.
I really don’t think “enabling” is the appropriate word to use here with Padme, either. Recovering from C-PTSD to the extent Anakin has it takes a metric fuckton of love, support, and acceptance. You WILL do abusive behaviors, PERIOD, because that’s what you know and you’re fumbling to figure out How To Be A Person. Ideally, that shit gets DISCUSSED and there’s work to improve and handle the issue in better ways. But there was a war brewing, there are apparently no therapists in a Galaxy Far Far Away, and all kinds of other shit and manipulative bastard Sith Lords and so on.
“Which, really? You numbnuts become friends when you’re blowing shit up and having people die by the hundreds around you. WOW. Let’s not examine that.“
I’m going to point out here that Obi-Wan Kenobi ALSO has plenty of reasons to have C-PTSD because the Jedi are shit at dealing with emotions. We generally consider putting a 12-year-old in a war-zone to be a BAD thing for their mental health, yes?
“And even being a Jedi, with the pushback he would have gotten, would
have only made him harden those defenses (making anyone trying to reach
him … fail).”
Are we REALLY going to blame the traumatized. brain-damaged 9-year-old for not knowing how to connect to people? Or the same kid at 15 or 20 who still has never had a chance to Learn To Be A Person? Never in a normal, stable, HEALTHY environment with anyone who thought “Hey, maybe feelings are important”?
Anakin never really Got Out of the abusive situation. Sure, he stopped being called a slave after he was 9, but the Jedi Order wasn’t willing to acknowledge his trauma and that it needed treatment and support, and with Attachments Are Forbidden as their watchword, with their constant disapproval and rejection, they made it SO MUCH WORSE.
I warn you, anon, I don’t have any snippets with Shmi written yet that aren’t painful, but since several people have asked me for a Shmi snippet, I’m giving you this pain.
And as a bonus, you also get a glimpse of Ahsoka’s POV in the first section.
This snippet is super spoilery, so if you’re avoiding Anabasis spoilers for some reason, you probably want to give this one a miss.
Warnings for: harm to children, trauma reactions, panic attacks, hand trauma, mention of blood, mention of needles and injections
The door slid open.
Masters Yoda and Windu entered first, Yoda looking openly
troubled and Windu scowling. Behind them were two humans, a pale, work-worn
woman in her middle age, and an attractive young man with warm brown skin and a
smile that lit his eyes. He looked oddly familiar, like someone she knew not in
reality, but from images. His smile seemed actually genuine, but it fell when
he caught sight of Vader.
The woman beside him sucked in a shallow breath of air, her
face contorting with so many emotions that Ahsoka couldn’t begin to name them.
Her hand reached out, clutching thoughtlessly at the air, and she whispered,
“Ani.”
I get the distinct feeling that the assumption with Temple Jedi that all non-Temple Jedi are pushovers is a nasty fib put into motion by one Knight-centric asshole that unfortunately gained a little too much traction (or Palpatine got wind of it and absolutely adored the idea of the Jedi slicing themselves up from the inside out, so he did his subtle Sith encouragement magic to keep the ball rolling on that one).
(Or maybe it’s Yoda’s fault. I wouldn’t put it past him to assume one type of Jedi is the best Jedi, and considering how long he was their leader? Well…)
I am now so here for an AU where the Council was like “Fine, he can be a Jedi but he can’t stay here”, so Kidling Anakin was shipped off to some out of the way AgriCorps base where that little sand-blasted munchkin learned about green growing things and loved every minute of it.
Qui-Gon would have made sure to send him to someone he trusts, even if they aren’t on the best of terms. Hello, Master Feemor training Anakin!!!!!!
1) i’m not sure i can write this as it should be written, so it’ll probably stay as a disjointed set of ideas for now – if i do write it i’ll look for a beta read because its something i personally have no experience with.
2) i know i can’t go as fully dark-ish as the original poster suggested – i just can’t do it. so this is my take on their concept
(found here)
so thus under the cut are the ideas i had (and if someone wants to take ‘em and run please feel free)
Qui-Gon Jinn teaching someone just as fucking stubborn as he is.
Just as holier-than-thou when it comes to Justice and Doing The Right Thing.
Just as determined to do things their way because the Force said so.
Just as hardcore to tell the ruling/governing bodies, Council or otherwise, to go take a flying fuck if they think said ruling bodies are wrong.
….
There is not enough alcohol in that galaxy.
…. I’m writing Force Ghost Qui-Gon teaching Leia how to be a Jedi (while Vader is trying to teach his daughter how to be a Sith) in my Jedi Leia AU? Which, granted, is a clusterfuck in itself, so. *shrugs and grins*
Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace AU: All Her Daughters: Time Travel Alt Word Count: 706 Characters: River | CT-2701 (OC), Anakin Skywalker, Shmi Skywalker
Warnings: off-screen character death
River meets Shmi, and makes a promise to the Skywalkers.
River doesn’t blink when a woman walks into the shop who looks like Butcher and her sisters, standing up when she frowns at him. There are no holos of Skywalker’s mother, nothing but the quiet tug of the Force and the clear resemblance to the clones made from her son’s genetic sequence to say who she is, and yet he is utterly certain.
“Madame Skywalker.” He nods his head in respect. “Did my sister speak to you?”
There’s a brief frown of confusion on her face that tells him that even if Butcher had seen her – and she had to have, if only to ensure that Skywalker was safely away from the slaver – she had not see Butcher in turn.
“No.” She sets the parts she’s carrying on the counter next to Anakin, watching him a moment. “Would you like me to find her?”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m sure she’ll find what she wants without assistance.” River smiles, though he carefully moves to circle Skywalker. He can’t let her go back there until Butcher comes back, any more than he wants Anakin to see what Butcher does. Why she has earned her name a thousand times over.
“And what is she looking for?” Skywalker is tense, watching him as many slavers have watched Butcher, though River hopes she does not fear for herself.
A distant, swiftly strangled shout makes Skywalker move toward the back, and River catches her arm before she can take more than a step.
“I think she’s found him.” River meet’s Skywalker’s gaze steadily, a little of his attention on where Anakin has stilled on the counter. “Please. Don’t interrupt her. When she’s done, we’ll find your trackers, and remove them.”
“You’re here to free the slaves?” Anakin’s voice is full of wary hope, and River looks up to smile at him.
“It’s a welcome side effect.” River can still feel tension under his hand, can tell that if he lets go, Skywalker might well still go out, still go looking for the slaver who thought he owned her. A wretch who thought that a child had to work to earn food.
“Who are you?” Skywalker’s voice is low and sharp with worry and fear.
“You can call me River. My sister—” River pauses, tilting his head as he looks between Anakin and Skywalker. “My sister is called Butcher.”
Under her tan, Skywalker goes pale, and behind her, Anakin is watching River with an expression that is an eerie echo of the one General Skywalker had given River the first time they met. And again when he’d let them walk free after they’d destroyed the worst Master of them all.
“The Hutts won’t take well to you stealing slaves. Even those that aren’t theirs.” Skywalker’s voice is studiously neutral, and River gives her a small smile.
“We’re not stealing slaves.” He feels the cold satisfaction in the back of his mind from Butcher. “There can be no slaves if there are no masters. If the Hutts object to the loss of slavers and masters on this planet, they too are mortal.”
“What will you do when you’ve removed the transmitters?” Skywalker pulls back and away from him, retreating to stand next to Anakin. Watching him with a face that reminds him of Mouse when she came to the Temple with Tree after he and Butcher had done their work on the worst Master. Something between wary relief and disappointment.
River is silent a moment, listening for Butcher to return, and to the Force. It led them here, to a Tatooine not their own, and to a General still a child, and to the woman who was the mother of the SpecOps clones. They’ll follow it where it leads from here, as well.
“Do you want to leave this place? Go somewhere in particular?” If Skywalker and Anakin want to leave, they’ll leave, and make sure the General and his mother are safe for however long they can.
“We have nowhere to go.” Skywalker wraps an arm around Anakin, protective and comforting.
“Then we will stay, and you have my promise, no one will do you harm while we are with you, nor suvive any harm they might offer if we are not.”
I frequently find myself at a loss when I discover the mindset that the Jedi Council, the Jedi Order, and even Obi-Wan provided a particularly good environment for Anakin to learn/grow up in. By comparing Anakin in TPM to AoTC, I believe it will become quite clear by the change in Anakin that the Temple provided an inadequate place for him to grow.
In TPM Anakin is a very self-confident boy. He is aware of his capabilities and limitations, expresses his opinion firmly, and, as a rule, doesn’t allow his detractors to get him down, or put him down. To list some examples:
He has the courage to initiate a conversation with Padme
In the novelisation, he even says that he’s going to marry her.
He stands up to Sebulba and confidently imitates a conversation with Qui-Gon
He invites perfect strangers to his home.
He calls Qui-Gon out on being a Jedi
He calls Qui-Gon out on slavery
He insists that he can win a podrace, and defends himself when his abilities are questioned
He ignores the ridicule of the children in his community
He talks back to the Council, not rudely, but forcefully.
He asks Ric Olie about piloting and is told he “catches on quick.”
He says he’s going to “see them all,” when he asks about star systems
He refuses to let people destroy his dreams-hard to do when you’re a slave.
He even talks back to and defends himself to Watto-his owner.
Clearly, Anakin is a very confident, and self-possessed individual. He states his opinions firmly, and defends them with conviction. Let’s compare that to AoTC Anakin:
Is far more nervous around Padme (which can admittedly be chalked up to hormones.)
Is shot down hard by Obi-Wan when he expresses his opinions-He does not ever really try and defend himself
Obi-Wan actually seems surprised he stands up as much as he does-clearly it is a rare occurrence that Anakin states his mind like that.
Anakin looks scared of what he’s done when he backs down
He looks timid in front of the Council-Far more so than in TPM
He is told “don’t do anything without first discussing it with either” Obi-Wan or the Council.
He just accepts Padme’s harsh criticism when he points out that she should discuss security concerns with him: Despite the fact that she is in the wrong, he does nothing to defend himself.
He expresses the opinions of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and mace, far more than he does his own. He actually seems afraid to give his opinions, as a rule.
There is a vast difference then between TPM!Anakin and AoTC!Anakin. The former defended his beliefs vehemently. The latter is afraid to even express them. Anakin only rants about Obi-Wan when Padme gives a hint of listening; it’s clear this has been pent-up in him for ages, but he hasn’t been able to let it out. Clearly, no one cares what he thinks or feels. When Padme shoots him down over security, he takes it meekly, but when she expressed doubt with him in TPM over his ability to win the Boonta, he just brushed it off, and told her “he’d win this time.” Before, in TPM, he said what he thought, now he just says “Master so-and-so thinks…” He feels uncomfortable saying what he really thinks. He honestly was more comfortable speaking up as a slave, than as a Jedi. Even just the body language difference can tell you that he’s gone from sure of himself to intensely insecure.
This is Anakin in TPM sticking up to his owner:
This is Anakin in AoTC, free, ostensibly, with his teacher:
It’s like chalk and cheese. One boy is sure of himself, the other looks brow-beaten. What could have caused such a massive shift in self-esteem? Well, a classic cause would be bullying. A child who is different, for whatever reason, gets humiliated, ostracized, beat-up, talked down to, and loses their self-confidence. I don’t doubt the same thing happened to Anakin. He was from the Outer Rim. He began his training late. He was different, unnaturally gifted. I’ve no doubt that was rough, and clearly he wasn’t given any kind of support to help with that, rather he was given the opposite. Hence, he is insecure.
This is in no way his fault. He’s barely an adult by AoTC, and it is up to the adults responsible for him during his childhood to provide a safe environment, if not a safe haven, for him to grow up in. Clearly, the Jedi have failed to do this. Indeed, as shown when Obi-Wan says “don’t do anything without consulting either myself or the Council,” they clearly had no faith in him whatsoever, (after ten years), so why should he believe in himself? In RoTS, Windu actually says when Anakin tells him about Palpatine, “If what you say is true, you will have earned my trust.” In thirteen years, Anakin who has worked diligently, and loyally as a Jedi, and he’s never earned Windu’s trust or respect! That is cold. What was Anakin suppose to do anyway as a boy? Go back to Tatooine? Anakin really didn’t have much choice but to stay. At least, with the Jedi he would get a good education, and would learn how to use the Force. There was nothing for him on Tatooine. What good would he do? By staying with the Jedi, at least until he was knighted, he might be able to help when he finally goes back to Tatooine. He’ll have the Force, and an education that would serve him well. (Then, of course, the war started so that went out the air-lock…) No, the fault for Anakin’s low self-esteem lies entirely with the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi Council. You cannot blame Anakin, especially since he was a child at the time. Frankly, the Council should be ashamed of themselves. If you adopt a child, and he wilts that much under your care, you need to take a good hard look at yourselves.
I would have thought that it was bad writing too. However, the theme of the apathetic inadequacy of the Jedi is carried from TPM through to RoTS. In TPM, Mace Windu tests Anakin only as a formality, because “he’s too old.” When Qui-Gon insists that Anakin be tested, Windu just waves a hand and says “bring him before us then.” He’s pretty much done with it all. Unsurprisingly, the Council then rejects Anakin, (while talking about Anakin as if he wasn’t even there.) That’s not really the worst bit though, when Qui-Gon points out that Anakin has nowhere to go, they don’t express any concern for his well-being, his education, his future, even though he’s a freed slave with few options, and no money: He’s a child at their mercy. Even when this fact is pointed out to them they just say he’s Qui-Gon’s “ward” now to do with as he pleases, just don’t train him. How callous! I mean, would you do that to a poor boy with no prospects who needed your help desperately?
By the time TPM ends, Anakin’s behaviour is already beginning to foreshadow what happens in AoTC. He’s picked up on all this and this is how he looks when he finds out Obi-Wan is going to be the one to train him:
This isn’t just grief from Qui-Gon’s death; Anakin’s expression, the above expression, comes as a direct result of Obi-Wan’s promise. Anakin’s grief is enhanced by his insecurity over his future. As I pointed out in my post The Team: Built on Weak Foundations, Anakin knew that Obi-Wan initially didn’t believe he should be trained, and was even jealous of him due to Qui-Gon’s actions in the Council room. Anakin had every reason to be afraid that things weren’t going to go well, and they didn’t. Yes, he and Obi-Wan became friends, which was nice, but he was never allowed to feel safe in his environment at the Temple, because of the Council’s apathy, even antipathy toward him which most of the other Jedi would have picked up on and followed like Lemmings. After all, why wouldn’t they do what the wise and noble Council does? Hence, we get Anakin’s low self-esteem in AoTC.
By the time RoTS comes around, Anakin is doing a bit better. He has command of his own men. He’s no longer an apprentice. He’s gained confidence now that he’s needed as a General in the GAR, and he’s been acknowledged to be a really good one which also helps: He’s the Hero With no Fear. As a result, he pushes back a bit more, but the underlying timidity he has with the Council doesn’t quite go away:
While, Anakin starts to really express a lot of his deeply rooted anger that stems from way back in his childhood, both with the Jedi and from slaver, in RoTS, and the Council takes a lot of it, (ignoring Operation Knighthood), he still doesn’t get one of the things he desperately needs, and craves: Validation and respect. Anakin honestly just needs them to tell him he did a good job, and that they’re proud of him, but the Council can’t quite seem to manage it. He might get “arrogant.” (Oh, please. He wouldn’t be so keen to prove what he can do, if you’d just say “you did well, kid!) By the time RoTS comes around, Obi-Wan is the only one who ever really tells him he’s doing a good job, and therefore he is placed in the position of fielding between Anakin and the Council, as the relationship continues to break down.
Nevertheless, despite his slowly regaining confidence, and the increasingly tense dynamic between Anakin and the Council, Anakin still doesn’t feel secure enough to just stand his ground, or even leave. This is a result of years of emotional abuse. Anakin was physically and emotionally abused as a child on Tatooine, and emotionally, and arguably, spiritually abused as a an apprentice to the Jedi. To be honest, I think this behaviour was mostly reserved for Anakin. The Jedi may not have been stellar in raising other members of their Order; they lost sight of what their Code really meant some time prior to the PT. However, they came down cruelly on Anakin, because he was different, and they were scared of what that meant. (Fear leads to the Dark Side, oh yes, but you helped him on his journey through your own fear.)
to make that funeral scene even worse: Anakin has to ASK what’s going to happen to him.
I mean, think about it. The kid is all alone on a strange planet, surrounded by people he hardly knows, and the ONE GUY who appeared to be in his corner is dead, and no one will tell him what’s going on, or what will happen to him. it’s been at LEAST two weeks – to allow for Padme to consolidate her hold on the planet well enough for the Supreme Chancellor to visit, him to be ELECTED, and to hold talks with the Gungans as to how to include their voice in Naboo’s government from now on. Likely it’s longer. And in all that time, ALL that TIME, no one says ONE single WORD about what’s going to happen to Anakin going forward.
He can’t go back to Tattooine. Padme isn’t offering him a place on Naboo, she likely thinks that he’s already part of the Jedi and wouldn’t be receptive to her offer even if she did consider it.
Obi-wan has his head up his own ass and can’t be bothered to consider any feelings other than his own. He doesn’t get that with his new teaching gig, come responsibilities toward the well being (including emotional well being) of his charge. So he’s off in his own head during the funeral, and Anakin is forced to speak up.
and Jake Loyd is perfect here. Anakin’s voice is *resigned* as he askes the question. you can tell that the anxieties have already burned themselves out, and there’s nothing left but resigned acceptance. there’s no use fighting what comes next, because there’s nothing left to fight.
It’s only THEN that Obi-wan turns. Turns and tells Anakin that he has permission to train Anakin as a Jedi. Then he promises Anakin that he WILL be a Jedi, as if that makes it all alright.
It doesn’t.
Okay, so, just up my dash I saw a post by @furiousgoldfish listing signs that your family is abusive and I was just blown away by the sheer number of indicators seen in Anakin’s relationship with Obi-Wan and the Jedi. I’ve highlighted examples from the films and TCW.
signs that your family is abusive:
you feel the urge to hide from them whenever you’re vulnerable
you cannot bear the idea of them seeing you cry
when you’re hurt or in pain, you don’t go to them because you feel
they’ll tell you that you deserved it or that it was your fault
After Obi-Wan’s terrible advice about his prophetic dreams in AotC, Anakin doesn’t got to him about them in RotS. The ‘advice’ he receives from Yoda is basically to suck it up because grief and fear are wrong.
you don’t feel like you can confide in them, either because they don’t
seem to care, or try to control how you act, or yell at you and punish you, or
use the information against you
After Obi-Wan dismisses Anakin’s concerns about his mother, allying with the Hutts, the Jedi’s role in the war, the Jedi’s behavior regarding the Chancellor, etc., Anakin stops coming to him with his problems. He also keeps his marriage a secret out of fear of Obi-Wan and the Jedi’s reaction.
you feel very self-conscious around them and keep expecting criticism
and insults
Look at the way he sits in AotC and that tiny flinch when Obi-Wan tears into him.
you can’t tell them about your struggles because you already know
they’ll side against you
See my previous comments about Anakin keeping secrets from Obi-Wan.
you keep things in your life secret from them because you have a feeling
they would ridicule, humiliate, and judge you if they knew, or take everything
away from you
Same as above
you feel scared of letting them know when they hurt you
After Obi-Wan fakes his death in the Deception Arc of TCW, Anakin is told by both Yoda and Obi-Wan that the pain he feels is his own fault.
you feel scared and guilty when you so much as think about them in a bad
way
Anakin rants against Obi-Wan repeatedly in AotC, often times while crying and immediately denying that he feels what he just said.
you feel the urge to remind yourself of all the things they did for you,
whenever something bad comes up, to be sure that you’re seeing them the way
they want to be seen by you
See previous comment.
you’re scared of being accused of being a burden to them
Obi-Wan and the Council make it clear in TPM that they don’t actually want Anakin and that his presence is a severe inconvenience to them. When Obi-Wan complains in AotC that Anakin will be the death of him, Anakin is clearly hurt.
you’re scared to hold them responsible for things they did to you,
because you know they would argue otherwise, and insist they had full right to
do what they did, or that you made it up
See previous statement
you have the inner sense of dread that nothing you ever do or say will
be taken seriously by them, and your life will always look like a joke to them
you dream of living far away from them and feel guilty for wanting to
cut them from your life
Anakin wants to leave the Jedi, he says as much to Ahsoka, but clearly feels to afraid to actually do it.
you don’t feel like you’re really important in comparison to them, it
feels like it’s better to just step aside and let them be important, your life
doesn’t matter as much anyway
In RotS, Anakin says that he wants more, but is aware that he shouldn’t. He knows his needs are wrong and selfish and he should feel ashamed.
you’re worried about how your every action might affect their life,
their reputation and social standing
you feel that they’re ashamed of you and you’re trying your best not to
bring further shame on the family
Anakin apologizes constantly in AotC.
you feel like you’ll owe them for the rest of your life and nothing you
ever do will be enough to erase the debt, and this fills you with dread and
feeling of being trapped
The Jedi freed Anakin from slavery. The Jedi took him on even when they clearly didn’t want to. Obi-Wan potentially put his career on the line to train Anakin even though he obviously didn’t like him. Anakin can never repay that debt and they make sure he knows it.
you don’t count on their help when you’re in trouble, you’re scared of them
finding out and punishing you for being in trouble in the first place
Anakin doesn’t tell Obi-Wan about what happened on Tatooine. He doesn’t tell him about Padme. He deliberately with holds information about his relationship troubles, even when asked about them.
you don’t count on them sharing their resources with you, you know you
have to be grateful for how much they’ve given you already and feel like you
have no right to ask for anything more, even if you need it
you can’t feel warmth or safety when surrounded by family, instead you
wish you didn’t have to be there, and seek a place to hide and protect yourself
holidays spent with family are just painful and something you try to
endure instead of enjoy
you can’t imagine a world where you’re free and not defined by these
people
Anakin has a wife he could easily choose to be with, but he stays because he can’t imagine not being a Jedi.
Now, I’m not saying that Obi-Wan and the Jedi set out to be abusive, but that was clearly the end result. What they set out to be was in control. Anakin was too old. He was too powerful. He was too dangerous. He needed to be contained. Obi-Wan says as much to Yoda and Mace in AotC. Yoda says as much to Anakin in TCW Deception Arc.
So what did they do? They isolated him from his family and friends. They criticized him constantly. They reminded him how unruly and disobedient and wrong he was. They taught him that he was wrong to ever want anything more. The end result is that they took a confident, happy boy and turned him into an uncertain and unstable mess. I guess that made him easier to control. Palpatine certainly thought so.
It was confirmed in Obi-Wan and Anakin that he was bullied at the temple for being different and that not only did they ignore this but they made him apologize to his bullies whenever he retaliated. As someone who had this happen to them, I can tell you it absolutely torpedos any chance you have of standing up for yourself if you need to.
Like the Jedi Council had no idea how to deal with the trauma of being a former slave. It was Anakin’s choice to turn, it always was, but they infinitely worsened the process due to their clumsiness and prioritizing Anakin the weapon over Anakin the person.
No one says it, but Beru effectively saved the galaxy when she raised Luke as Luke before the chosen one or Anakin’s son or anything else. Anakin didn’t have someone like Beru to do that for him. Obi-Wan tried, but in the end he wasn’t good enough.
This. This this this. The Jedi fucked Anakin up. They didn’t set out to do it, but they did, and they did it thoroughly.
Hey anon, I’m really sorry for the week-long wait, and I hope you’ve been coping okay. Writing Anabasis is pretty cathartic for me, so I’m glad it’s good for other people, too.
I really wanted to finish up this section so I could post it for you – hope you like it! This snippet follows immediately after the last snippet I posted. (So I think this marks the first time I’ve posted two bits that actually connect!) It also makes reference to this snippet.
In which Anakin explains his new tattoo, Padmé learns she was baby Vader’s secret hero, and Orn Free Taa should probably start running.
Warnings for discussion of slavery, references to Anakin’s transmitter explosion, and very oblique references to conditioning and abuse of children.
All of that said, this is actually a pretty happy snippet.
They talked in circles for another two hours, and by the
time Padmé saw her guests out, very little had changed. Taa and his cronies
remained unmoved, and still planned to bring their bill to a vote, in spite of
their demonstrated inability to defend it with anything other than easily
debunked talking points. She was still less confident than she’d like to be that
they would fail. But at least they now seemed more sullen than smug. And they’d
kept glancing nervously at Anakin and then away.
He’d joined their meeting ostensibly as an unofficial
representative of the Outer Rim Territories, but he’d referred more often to
Imperial policies than to Tatooine. As political tactics went, it was both
transparent and stunningly effective.
And Padmé would be lying if she said she hadn’t enjoyed
watching it play out.
So she was more than a little surprised when, after the last
of her guests had gone, Anakin turned to her with a set jaw and shuttered eyes
and snapped, “I’m not going to apologize.”
“I go now to confront my worst enemy.” Darth Vex said, face taunt with unreleased tension. His hand curled loosely across his lightsaber in a gesture of self-comfort; Anakin stared, spoon practically dropping from his fist even as Shmi rested her forehead in her palm with a light groan.
“Really, Obi-Wan, must you?” The Butcher of Geonosis complained, an unexpectedly plaintive note in her voice. Anakin’s disbelieving gaze flickered between her mother and the curator of the Black Library; Vex ignored him, answering his line-aunt with a single stiff nod.
“Yes.” The Sith growled, fists clenching.
***
Shmi had pulled him aside after Darth Vex departed in an overly dramatic swirl of black robes, quietly suggesting that he might want to find some excuse – any excuse – to avoid the Jedi Temple for a few days. Just in case. Anakin had, accordingly, taken the first mission available and happily spend the following cycles enmeshed in Courscant’s black market district, tracing an antique ‘cultural artifact’ that a senator had reported as ‘missing’ earlier that week.
He might also have taken the opportunity to catch up on the status of the current illegal swoop-bike races. Just in case. One never knew what knowledge might come in handy later on.
As such, he was one of the lucky ones not to be present when Darth Vex, current curator of the Black Library and Archives, met face-to-face with Jedi Master, Joscasta Nu, current caretaker of the Jedi Archives.
Witnesses stated that they were extremely polite to one another.
There's a Mirror on the Wall 