The best part was the light sabre fight with Ewan McGregor in Sith. Ewan is a great guy, I get on with him really well. We both have a great affinity for our light sabres – no pun intended – and we’d always spar when we had a spare few minutes. So when we got to Sydney to film Sith we argued them into letting us do the scene ourselves and really went for it – no stunt guys – and it works even though we were black and blue afterwards. It was like being nine years old playing your favourite game with your friend.
Hayden Christensen (Daily Mail Interview, Spring 2005)
11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.
At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS
The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.
We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.
this is just a reminder that ice cream was invented literally in 3000 bce & marco polo brought it back (along with noodles, spices, etc.) to the italian states from china after his silk road travels
every single historical figure or written character you can think of can have theoretically at some point had access to ice cream, predating & incl. gilgamesh
#species priorities
Thanks, now I’m thinking about Vlad the Impaler having ice cream parties with really inappropriately named flavors and beautiful but slightly too lifelike bowls shaped into various human limbs and body parts.
ok but I’m laughing too bc I am nerdy enough that I did some research to try and figure out what kind of ice cream flavors vlad iii of wallachia would have known and loved
and as it turns out there is not much on the ground in terms of 15th century romanian frozen desserts, though obvs with vanilla & chocolate being new world ingredients, there’d’ve been local flavors instead + already by then a HEAVY ottoman culinary influence* at play
(in case anyone was wondering: trad’nl. romanian desserts do feature lots of spices, walnuts, figs, apples, plums, berries, honey, lemons, and coffee)
* this is why even in stoker’s “dracula,” jonathan harker dedicates a lot of pages in his diary entries to being weird & whiny about spicy ethnic food™, fyi
BUT while vlad iii (not to be confused with father vlad ii or vlad iii’s two other brothers named vlad) was a kid, vlad ii dracula traded jr. and younger brother radu the handsome to sultan murad ii as collateral fake-hostages/a “goodwill gesture” in exchange for ottoman military and political support to reclaim the wallachian throne, after being ousted by “rivals in league with hungarians,” which already sounds way cooler than hbo’s game of thrones
which means, at some point during his years in gallipoli & constantinople, surly teenage vlad iii, beautiful radu, and radu’s bestie/bf mehmed ii (murad’s son) for SURE ate actual 500yo old time MELT RESISTANT turkish ice cream dish dondurma with baklava & karsambaç (OLD TIMEY SNOW CONES) together while vlad iii thought about how much he hated them all**
and that’s just beautiful.
** radu was obedient & took well to his lessons as murad ii’s prisoner, was notoriously handsome & a favorite of mehmed ii, and in fact converted to islam after his years in turkey. vlad, not so much. he had no issues with speaking turkish or maintaining an ottoman support network as he headed back to moldova & then transylvania, but he loathed his captors (and brother) specifically, and between punishments, culture/language/quran lessons as the son of a member of the order of the dragon, and battle tactics drills, a lot of historians have p. much agreed, “yeah, that’ll set you on a path of impaling people for sure. first steps, at very least.”
tl;dr teenage prince vlad “țepeș” iii drăculești of wallachia definitely plotted out how he wanted to kill everyone around him over slurpees, and, I mean, at least remembering my own adolescence as a comparison, that’s some #relatable content right there.
Vlad the Impaler may have plotted massacre over slurpees – but evidence suggests he plotted method over kebabs…
world war 2:
-thinks they’re a lot tougher than they actually are
-tend to be really niche about one very, very specific aspect
-really sarcastic sense of humour
-acts like the war’s still on
-very bitter about the 2001 pearl harbor movie
-wakes up in a cold sweat to boogie woogie bugle boy & the in the mood intro
-their fashion taste is either impeccable or an atrocity to god there is no in-between
world war 1:
-weird and quiet
-drinks cheap booze even if they can have/afford better
-hoarders
-would sell soul & firstborn for a pickelhaube
-knows lots of really obscure facts
-underlying & unexplainable 19th century german history fetish
-copes with problems by turning them into memes & shitty jokes
-bad puns galore
classics:
-come off really sensible & serious but h2g has the most perverted sense of humour out of everyone
-probably hiding some dark shit
-either really enthusiastic about homoeroticism or ignores it completely
-really defensive about their favourite society/period
-a lot of tension between the roman buffs & the greek ones???
-latin’s not dead, it just smells funny
cold war/vietnam war:
-probably either a communist or has a hard-on for JFK
-world war 2 buff’s edgy sibling
-usually really into guns or at least knows a fuckload about them. may also be really into guns but know jack shit about them, too
-gets into a lot of internet fights
-so many conspiracy theories
-their jokes make literally no sense to anyone else
-has a lot to say about the 2k16 presidential race
-really political in general tbh
-will wear military surplus uniforms as streetwear
-cool taste in sunglasses tho
medieval europe:
-goes ham on fantasy or drags it within an inch of its life
-gets asked about king henry viii way too much
-warped & morbid sense of humour
-cheerfully cynical about everything
-can slice you in half with their writing
-eternal academic 1v1 in the pit w/ each other
-holds personal grudges against someone who died like 900 years ago
-but also will die in the gutter for someone who died like 900 years ago
-complains about rain & cold weather but actually doesn’t mind it
*I do not mean any offence by these, and please feel free to add/specify/correct/etc! I’ve obviously only covered a small range of eras because these are the ones I have read & interacted the most with. Also, these are simply generalisations based on what I’ve personally seen & weren’t written to vague abt anybody. Please add if you think of anything else!
You forgot some!!
Napoleonic: ▪rude af but only because everyone keeps spouting the same 3 myths about him, also hilarious when they want to be ▪super creative ones that makes beautiful fan art or absolute meme trash ▪talk about Napoleon and his crew as if they all knew him personally ▪if you compare their interest to Hitler you will get dragged to Hell and back ▪usually older students/adults ▪many have a military fashion obsession too. Bring back pants de la gloire ▪often European, not always ▪loves to fight
AmRev/American history: ▪never European ▪either PhD students or meme kings and ship monarchs ▪everyone is gay ▪Hamilton obsession or completely ignores it, everyone in the fandom has an opinion on it whichever side they are on ▪touchy about the slave trade/Constitution and their effects in the modern day ▪the lame ones are patriots, the cool ones just love their history
French Rev: ▪either 12 year old communists or educated adults that know what they’re talking about ▪usually speak French ▪always take their hat off when the Terror is mentioned ▪no hon Enjolras lived in a different time ▪never right wing
Enlightenment and Romantic era: ▪#aesthetic ▪interested in literature usually ▪usually obsessed with their own historic faves and know everything on two or three people in the era ▪period drama is a hot topic ▪some are monarchists
*what she said!! This is just a bit of fun and only what I’ve observed!!
Can you imagine Megamind as a father? He would totally be THAT dad. The one forever shoving their kid in everyone’s faces like
BEHOLD BY OFFSPRING! I MADE THIS! THIS IS MY LEGACY! MY PROGENY CAN KICK YOUR PROGENY’S BUTT IN EVERYTHING EVER!
And the poor kid’s just like
Oh my god dad stop why are you doing this to me you are so weird.
I like to imagine him being TERRIFIED of an infant child that’s actually his responsibility.
Roxanne would be great, Minion would absolutely adore it, but Megamind would just be horrified at the idea of being left alone with it because oh gOD WHAT IF IT BREAKS? WHAT DO I DO IF IT CRIES? HOW DO YOU TRAIN A CHILD ROXANNE HELP.
But he’d also be completely “pfft my child is the best child. your child couldn’t hope to be as fabulous as mine. look how smart they are. they’re gonna rule the world. and look how gorgeous they are i mean come on.”
That first moment in the delivery room would be hilarious.
“Honey, do you wanna hold the baby?”
“NO!”
“She’s your daughter what do you mean no?!”
“If i hold her, i will drop her, and she will die! Have you completely forgotten that I’m the reason we can’t have nice things?!”
There's a Mirror on the Wall 