Another Kiss Meme

howeveryclever:

// new & improved kiss meme with extra feels courtesy of a planning session with @spiritmark! 

Send a number + a pairing = get a kiss!

  1. First kiss
  2. Painful kiss
  3. Sad kiss
  4. Desperate kiss
  5. Comfortable kiss
  6. Tipsy kiss
  7. Laughing kiss
  8. In the dark kiss
  9. ‘We might die tomorrow’ kiss
  10. ‘You nearly died’ kiss
  11. ‘We’re actually being kind of silly for once’ kiss
  12. A kiss that shouldn’t have happened
  13. A kiss we had to wait for
  14. ‘I don’t have the words right now so here’s a kiss’
  15. A kiss because I have literally been watching you all night and I can’t take anymore
  16. Teasing kisses on every bit of visible skin
  17. Hungry kisses on every bit of newly visible skin as clothing is slowly peeled away
  18. Kisses because I missed you and you really shouldn’t stay away so long
  19. Kisses because I don’t want you to go and maybe I can convince you to stay just a few minutes longer
  20. Kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better

I’m game. Just. I am a multi-fannish person and would like prompts in multiple fandoms. Crossovers welcome too. Fandoms I’ll write in are in the tags.

the-sun-of-rome-is-set:

chronolith:

systlin:

tomcats-and-tophats:

garliccloves:

classical-cacophony:

wardencommanderrodimiss:

this is too real

Note this doesn’t work for bi girls!! 

Mara Wilson is a bisexual woman

Boy bands are almost overwhelmingly cultivated around the easiest way to sell shit to young girls, which very heavily leans into societally dominant heterosexual love story narratives, which in themselves tend to focus on specific attitudes towards gender roles, presentation, and styles of attraction. 

Bi women are not straight so we do not conceptualize our gender and attraction the same way a straight woman would because we do not function under the same societal pressures and dynamics. Ergo, the marketing around and content within the songs by many boy bands can be incredibly alienating to a bi woman audience even if they still experience attraction to men because we often do not experience that attraction in a way palpable to or even considered by those cultivating the public image of these bands.

Accusing Mara Wilson, a bi woman, of bi erasure, for sharing an amusing anecdote on her own experience, is ridiculous. But it is also an incredible disservice to bi women like myself who are more than acutely aware that we are (and always have been) a far cry from this media’s target audience – and it is, in fact, a demonstration of the effects of bi erasure that people so stalwartly align us with heterosexuality that we’re accused of erasing ourselves when we talk about our alienation from mainstream m/f-focused media.

As another bi woman, I had to blink and think if I even know any boy bands. 

I don’t. 

Same. I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to remember any boy bands *ever* and drew a massive blank.

Bi as fuck over here.

Ace lesbian, couldn’t even name a boy band. COULD name a dozen baritones / bass-baritones anytime, though. I just fucking despised pop music even as a teen.

Aro-ace, and while I can remember a couple of boy bands from when I was younger, I’m pretty sure I listened to some of their music as part of my “anything and everything made in the late 90s/early 00s, because I would like something NOT MY PARENTS MUSIC, not even remotely”. None of it is was anything that stuck with me.

(Granted, neither did anything else that involved romance or sex, beyond being able to tolerate it. Love songs do not make it into my most played play lists, and never have, even when I was doing the dating thing because it was expected by my own conception of how society worked.)

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

daughterofscotland:

thatswhywelovegermany:

Marriage Charter of Empress Theophanu from 972

Otto I. “The Great” undertook an intense diplomatic effort to improve the relationship with the Byzantine empire. One of these measures was to marry his son Otto II. with a Byzantine princess. After several failed attempts, he managed to convince Constantinople to send a bride. The girl who arrived in Germany was apparently a disappointment: Instead of the deceased Byzantine emperor Romanos II.’s daughter, a niece of his ousted predecessor was sent to Germany. Some advisors told him to send her back, but Otto I. decided to marry her anyway with his son, probably to avoid more diplomatic trouble.

In April 24, 972, the wedding took place. In this document, after a theological introduction, the political circumstances of the marriage are mentioned. After that, legal affairs are regulated. The empress obtained imperial rights for several provinces and courtyards scattered from Italy to today’s Netherlands, and income from these territories.

The parchment is soaked with a purple-red pigment mixture from lead red and madder root. The golden pigment of the ink is a pulverized alloy of silver and gold. It is largely written in calligraphic minuscles. The OTTO monograms near the bottom are very well recognizable, and by reading closely, you may actually find Theophanu’s name.

Theophanu apparently took a very active role during the reign of her husband, as many documents carrying her name prove. When he suddenly died, she took over the regency for her only five year old son, together with her mother-in-law until her death in 991.

The very well preserved 144.5 by 39.5 cm large document was forgotten in the library of the Gandersheim monastery for centuries. It was rediscovered around 1700; its importance was recognized by mathematician and scholar Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz. It is now on permanent public display in a darkened room under optimal air-conditioning at the State Library of Lower Saxony in Wolfenbüttel.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

I thought this might interest you.

Just realise I’ve must have been walking by it a lot during my childhood. I went to the library in Wolfenbuettel a lot as a kid.

*academic growling* The first half of this is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Otto I wasn’t trying to improve relations with Byzantium. He was actively invading and trying to take their Western European holdings! Otto I had only recently named his kingdom an empire and wanted to *legitimatize* being able to call his digs the Roman Empire by getting his Heir a bride from the actual remaining Roman Empire. That’s it. That was his plan. He started trying to achieve this goal in 967, but the current-Emperor of Constantinople said Nope because Otto I was in the middle of trying to steal their shit.

Part of the reason Constantinople (NOT BYZANTIUM, NOT THEN) later agreed was a fucking negotiation: Otto I would get a princess of Constantinople for his son if he agreed to leave Constantinople’s shit in Western Europe and Italy the entire hell alone. Otto I agreed, and the (new) Emperor of Constantinople sent one of his nieces by marriage. This pissed Otto off, since he was expecting a daughter of the Emperor, but that’s what the stupid fuck Otto I got for not encouraging proper Latin reading and education–the contracted agreement stipulated that the bride would be a niece or a granddaughter of the Emperor, not a daughter.

Theophanu was NOT SENT TO GERMANY, AND SHE WAS NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT (except in the perceived political snubbing sense). Also important: Otto I is infamous for not giving a single fuck what his noble advisors thought about Otto’s doings unless those advisors were his self-appointed men of the Church, which yes, he also appointed the Pope.

The Church was entirely down with the marriage considering where this marriage took place:

Theophanu was sent directly to motherfucking ROME in the company of a guard, a LOT of treasure, silks and riches (that the Germans had no concept of at the time and considered a sinful excess), a massive entourage, and a LOT of other shiny things to show off that Constantinople and Theophanu were complete badasses and this pathetic excuse for a western Roman Empire best recognize it right now.

Otto I was smart enough to realize that, daughter or niece, the marriage would still accomplish what he wanted. Otto II and Theophanu were married that same month in Rome in St. Peter’s Basilica, and Theophanu was crowned Empress Regent with Co-Emperor Otto II by the Pope the very same day. And it was 14th April, not 24th. Seriously. Research. Do it. The date is ON THE CONTRACT.

Seriously, what the fuck, who wrote this original summary? The only thing correct are the details about how the contract was made!

Theophanu was not the daughter of Romanos II. (People often make this mistake because Romanos II was married to a different Theophano.) Romanos II had also been DEAD since 963, well before the original bride-negotiation attempts began. Theophanu was the niece-by-marriage of Emperor
Iōánnēs I Tzimiskēs, and most likely the daughter of Constantine Skleros and Sophia Phokaina, who was the cousin of the Emperor; Sophia was the daughter of the brother of Emperor Nikephoros II, who was the dude
Tzimiskēs

had just deposed via handy assassination. (Nikephoros was Tzimiskes’ maternal uncle.Yep, family killing family, time-honored tradition among Roman Emperors.)

That was not Theodora gaining those income rights, by the way. That was CONSTANTINOPLE keeping their property. Theodora was Empress Consort and because the Kingdom of the Romans was a bag of dicks, they did not really recognize noble women in positions of authority unless those women were badass enough to stand up and give them no choice–like Theophanu, Greek and Armenian woman who was not about to put up with that nonsense for very long. (Otherwise you pretty much had to be an Abbess, which is why you’ll find that so many widowed queens and high-ranking nobility became an Abbess after their husbands cacked it. It was a way to retain authority that was recognized by the Church.)

It was not during her husband’s reign that Theophanu was an active and powerful badass–the Saxons and Franks would have thrown a complete hissy fit and seen it as attempts to weaken and undermine her husband the Emperor. Besides, Otto II and Theophanu were only married for about ten years, and she spent a great deal of that time having their five children. (Otto III’s twin sister died before baptism, unfortunately, so we don’t even know her name.)

Theophanu is famous (and later infamous) for earning the respect of her entire new Empire after her young husband unexpectedly dropped dead of malaria. This could have destroyed the Empire. So, instead of being a mere little Regent while Otto III was a kid, Theophanu took the reins and ruled so well that she was readily recognized by the nobility and the Church as Imperatrix Augusta. EMPRESS. Not Empress Consort. Not Empress Regent. EMPRESS. The only other woman to be recognized as Empress in full during that period was Otto I’s third wife Adelheid, who he insisted be named Empress along with himself when he made Rome name himself and his wife Roman Emperor and Empress after he saved Rome’s ass. (Then Rome tried to take it back. That Pope did not last very long.)

Otto III was not five years old at his father’s death. He was three. Dowager Empress Adelheid had no regency over her grandson until after Theophanu’s unexpected death at age 34, when Otto III was eleven.

Oh, and that peace agreement? Otto I and Otto II both went immediately back to trying to conquer all of southern Italy to take away Constantinople’s holdings. It wasn’t until *after* Otto II died that Theophanu negotiated and maintained peace with Constantinople so that the two Empires weren’t at each other’s throats all the time. It was her polical savvy, diplomacy, and negotiations that strengthened the entire Western Roman Empire. Hers. Not any of the Ottonians. Her. She did it.

Imperatrix Augusta Theophanu Skleraina.

Oh, and there are much better views of the marriage contract so you don’t have to deal with Tumblr’s shrinking of images:

Close up of the Full Document.

Another site for viewing details.

A bloody WEARABLE version.

hihi I hope you have a lovely day today! (and my husky-pupper sends lots of kisses if you’d like them!)

*hugs back* Today has been good so far. A bit more active than usual, and my body is not sure this was a brilliant thing, but.

Have cleaned up the narrow bit of yard between the shop/apartment building and the fence, resulting in a couple piles of yard waste that will be dealt with later and a trash bin full of old dead window frame pieces.

Have gotten the old dishwasher off the deck and down stairs so it can be put out Monday night for Tuesday morning pick up.

Won a staring contest with a robin.

And discovered that the wind finally took down the eyesore of a stump covered in poison ivy that our neighbors whose property it’s on haven’t bothered with for years.

Give you husky-pupper scritches for me? 🙂

(Also had scrapple for breakfast and fetched the less-ripe star fruit from this week’s produce so I can have tasty tart star fruit for lunch.)

It has been 15+ years since I came out of a movie without a massive headache or migraine.

I walked out of Black Panther with nothing more than a few twinges of headache that pretty much vanished with dinner.

I mean, on top of the fucking AWESOME that is Black Panther, and the sheer glee and joy of watching that movie, it is the first movie in well over a decade that has not left me with a headache. Whether it was the way the visuals were done, the soundtrack, the palatte of the movie, all of the above, it just. I’d be tempted to go see it in theaters again because I can do so without a problem, and I can actually fucking enjoy the movie and the squee after without fighting through pain.

The visuals were gorgeous, the people were fantastic, the emotional beats were spot-on. The sound, oh, dear fucking deities, it was perfect. Just. I want the soundtrack. I love the spots of humor, I love the way everyone worked together. There were places where it was just, yes, this is how it should be done all the time. And there were points where I almost cried (and probably, once it is out on DVD, and I can watch without strangers potentially seeing me cry, I will).

I loved it. And I want to see it again already.

This is kinda out of left field, but you are one of the few people I follow that have a family unit. My question is are your podlings or mate picky eaters. My mate refuses to eat anything green and likes only about 3 dishes they ever ate growing up. We don’t have a lot of money and I’m not sure how to cook for someone who refuses to try new things. I’m kinda at my wits end here and just thought I’d reach out to someone who has more experience.

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

I’m a picky eater and so is my youngest Podling. There was a six-month period in my childhood where I ate nothing but ketchup on whitebread sandwiches because everythign else tasted horrid. The podling is further crippled by being wheat-free and milk free (minimal dairy, not none), so he eats GF chips, GF cheese pizza, gf cereals, gf pretzels, rice with soy sauce, gf chicken nuggets, and…really not much else. I’m so grateful that he likes V8 Smoothie blends because otherwise I’d never be able to get a fruit or vegetable into this kid. I don’t care that he’s drinking his fruits and vegetables as long as he has them.  (…Also it’d be neat if I could stand V8 because that would be a nice solution for me, too, since I can’t eat local produce of any sort without getting sick.)

It sounds like your mate has two issues:

1) Supertaster. That’s what creates most picky eaters. Things that taste sweet or complex and amazing to others? All we taste first is BITTER BITTER BITTER. It makes it very, very difficult to find things to eat because other people look at us cross-eyed when we say the greens they enjoy taste like trying to eat…well, a solid wall of bitter. As a Supertaster grows older, their palette expands a bit, but it’s never typical. We just taste things that other people simply can’t.

2) Balls-to-the-wall stubbornness. If people were trying to force your mate to try new things when they were a lot younger, when the Bitter-Everywhere factor was in maximum overdrive? There might even be fucking PTSD issues when it comes to trying new foods. I am not being facetious when I say that when we Supertasters taste bitter in foods? It is not, “Oh gross, I don’t like this.” It’s “FUCK IT’S HORRIFIC GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH FUCK FUCK FUCK WHERE IS EVERYTHING TO DRINK GET IT OUT FUUUUUUUCK!” levels of bitter. You force a kid to eat things that create that kind of response, you’re gonna create someone who mistrusts food and the people trying to give it to them. Pretty much the only part of my childhood my ex-mother didn’t fuck up was understanding that you can’t (and shouldn’t) make a kid eat things they don’t like. Unless it’s a starvation situation, that kid is more stubborn than you are and they have more energy in reserve to outstubborn you until the stars burn out. I don’t mean let them eat junk food, but it does mean you’re going to have to work around the issue. (RE: Ketchup. Sandwiches. And multivitamins.)

I understand your frustration. (We live in one of THE most expensive places to buy groceries in the U.S. Buying groceries in a tourist trap on the beach is literally cheaper.) But trying to force your mate to eat things outside their comfort zone is doomed to failure if you keep trying to *force* the issue. You’re going to need to consider what’s in their meals that they find acceptable and work with that flavor profile. No, you’re not going to succeed with greens, but there are probably flavors within those meals that can be found elsewhere. Hit the web, hit reciples that involve those components and flavors, and instead of cooking and presenting, show your mate the recipes you find and ask for opinions.

If they say no to every single option you find that matches their current meal profile, they’re just being an asshole. Cook for yourself and let them make their own food.  …In fact, you might wanna do that anyway. Why should you do all the cooking?

Not sure if I’m a supertaster, but I know my sense of smell is fun and entertaining (hello, smelling things that most people aren’t), and it too causes issues with food. If the food has certain smell components, I can’t eat it (as in, gag reflex is not my friend).

(Also, green leafy things do indeed taste gross, and it takes a fuck ton for them to be remotely edible, usually enough other flavor for me to overload and go nope anyway. I keep just saying they taste like chlorophyll, because there’s nothing else that tastes like green leafy things except other green leafy things. I’d rather nibble the delicate new still-white parts of grass, they taste better.)

Sweet is also a trouble for me – never feed me synthetic sweetners or stevia or HFCS, because they all taste gross in their own way. Most sythetics taste like wax, aspertame tastes like someone’s attempting to stab my tongue, HFCS tastes like rotton fruit, and stevia has an ear wax aftertaste. Sugar often tastes too sweet, and honey is my sweetener of choice.

Yogurt is a texture issue (yogurt is bad, sour cream is good, because of the texture difference). So is anything gritty-in-suspension. Or certain kinds of slimy, usually of the reminds-me-of-mucus kind of slimy.

(I am not actually hitting allergies here, because that’s an entirely different issue, but there are those as well.)

So, other issues that could make for picky eating, as well.

jabberwockypie:

morgynleri:

jabberwockypie:

otahkoapisiakii:

the-mighty-birdy:

pain-and-missouri:

pain-and-missouri:

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can! 
❤️❤️❤️

I’ve got three slots left, and remember, I can do groups for +$50 a person!

See, I spent way too long looking at this and trying to figure out why stabbing someone would be cheaper than poisoning them, because like, that’s WAY more labor-intensive.

Because if you stab someone, it’s kinda obvious they were murdered. If you poison someone, if you’re good, you can make it look like an accident or natural causes. So of course you charge more for making it look like an accident.

Okay, true, but shooting someone is even MORE obvious that you murdered them – because with stabbings it could be argued that they tripped and fell onto something sharp 25 times.

But shooting could be an accident, too, though you have to talk very fast and be able to hide any motivation to shoot them in the first place. Or self-defense, especially if you do a good job with hitting center mass, and can make a case for being afraid for your life or others. Just have to set it up right.