Oldest Child Things
-Frustrated perfectionist
-Never Good Enough
-Works really hard to prove doesn’t care about other people’s opinions
-Cares too much
-Internal/eternal screaming
-Always ends up being the mom friend
-Bossy
-Skittish bundle of nerves or complete lump of oblivion
-Panics when criticized
-Unhealthy coping mechanisms
-0 or 100 all the time, no inbetween
OH JUST @ ME NEXT TIME.
The adventures of Unassuming Hufflepuff continue. In an Unassuming fasion.
Summer at the manor was quiet except when Granddad insisted
on morning target practice in the range set up in the back garden. Doctors
argued with him about it, but Granddad insisted that shooting revolvers kept
the arthritis at bay.Doctors, Uh has noticed, really do not like it when a cure
that should never work actually does work.“ALEX!”
“MY NAME IS UH, GRANDDAD!” Uh shouts back, closing
their book with a sigh.“WHATEVER!” Graddad replies from the garden. “YOU HAVEN’T
BEEN ON THE RANGE YET THIS WEEK!”Uh puts their book aside, vacates the bench on the balcony,
and then climbs down the support column to land in the back garden with a
thump. “Granddad, I have a wand. I don’t need to shoot anyone when I can
hex them. Besides, guns don’t work at Hogwarts.”“No, modern
guns don’t work at Hogwarts,” Granddad corrects Uh cheerfully, clearing
the barrels of both revolvers before handing them over. “But if you go old
school…”“Fine.” Uh gives up, loads the revolvers,
obliterates the two remaining targets the manor staff have yet to replace, and
then hands the emptied weapons back to Granddad. “There you are. Can I
please read my book now?”Granddad is staring at the targets, a distant look in his
eyes. Uh would almost call it sadness.No, not feelings, not again! This is still not Uh’s job!
“Sometimes it amazes me how much you take after
me,” Granddad says, tilting his head at the targets. “Then it’s your
Gran, and the way you both bury your heads in books. Then it’s Lin with the
magic and the swords…and then there’s your dad.”“I don’t take after Dad at all,” Uh reminds
Granddad.Granddad reaches over and ruffles Uh’s long hair. “Alex
always wanted to fix things, too, sweetheart.”Fine. Uh will at least admit to that. But at least they
don’t go wandering off and get lost for three years and counting.Granddad knows what they’re thinking. “Sweetheart, I
still blame your Uncle Jonathan for that.”Uh nods. That is also likely. Uncle Jonathan is…like that.
Gran always says he took after their great-grandfather, who was a bit mad, and
then Jonathan’s service in World War I made everything worse.Uh is halfway back to the manor before they realize.
“Wait. Granddad! Old school? That was a terrible pun!”
*happily shrieks and waves fic at their entire follower list* GO READ THE THING! IT IS AWESOME!
guys, we need to talk about eowyn
So I get really narky when people pull the whole ‘oh Eowyn’s
storyline came to such a sucky ending; she was really cool going around killing
orcs and Witch-Kings and then she got shoved into a traditional girly role by marrying
Faramir and becoming a healer’ thing, because no. No-no-no-no-no. Not only does that
stray dangerously into the territory of ‘women only have worth if they’re doing
traditionally blokey things’, but that misses almost the entire point of Lord of the Rings.Tolkien was in the trenches in the first world war, right?
He got all that ‘for death and glory’ shit shoved down his throat, that was the
whole point about the war, it was when so many people came to see how awful and
misleading all the propaganda about winning glory through violence and death was. And Tolkien’s work completely shows
that: it’s why the hobbits, who’ve never craved power or battle the way men do,
are the heroes of the book; it’s
why strong men like Aragorn and Faramir are shown to be lovers of peace rather
than war. It’s why the quote – but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for
its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory; I love only that which they
defend – is so poignant and beautiful, when
seen in the context of all Tolkien had gone through. He’d seen all but one of
his closest friends die in an utterly pointless war; the prevalent message in
his books is ‘if you’re going to have that many people die, let it be for
something worth dying for.’ (Like
defending your home from the lord of all darkness, for example.)And Eowyn
might be a fantastic female character, but she’s also got so much development
to go through, and she’s by no means perfect. I find it really interesting that when Eowyn talks to Aragorn
about wanting to go off and fight she never really actually mentions protecting
her people, but speaks about wanting to ‘face peril and battle’, and to
do ‘great deeds’. And it’s not that Eowyn doesn’t want to protect her people, because of course she does, but she’s also got such a
driving motivation within her to do glorious and fell deeds simply for the sake
of valour and renown. It’s one of her defining features, having an attitude
that got so many young men killed in the war and which, obviously, Tolkien
would have been very wary of.(Also, I think, there’s so much in Eowyn that wants to prove
herself to be more than ‘a mere woman’; because twice in that conversation she
asserts that she’s no mere ‘dry-nurse’ or ‘serving-woman’, but a member of the
house of Eorl and therefore capable of greater things. There’s almost this
slight sense of Eowyn considering herself more than ‘just’ a domesticated woman that I
sometimes get from her in the books? Which is very sad – the idea of Eowyn having less regard for others of her sex who do mind the house or raise the children – and why I so love that ‘I am no man’ moment in RotK. Eowyn’s no longer hiding herself, or dismissing fellow women as the weaker sex,
but acknowledging and embracing the fact that women in all their forms can fuck you up.)And then we reach
the Houses of Healing, and Eowyn yearning for death in battle just like her
Uncle Theoden, and basically buying into that whole world war one ethos that
Tolkien would have considered so poisonous. Which is why her friendship and
courtship with Faramir is so fricking beautiful.
Remember that quote I wrote earlier? That’s from Faramir. He’s not backing down
from conflict, he’s in no way less of a ‘real man’ than anyone else; he’s just
saying there needs to be more to the fight than simply having a fight. There needs to be a reason; something worth
fighting for. Eowyn recognises that Faramir is a good man in every sense of the
word: he’s strong and valiant, but he doesn’t fight simply to prove himself or
for the sake of winning glory, he fights for other people. And Faramir gently challenges Eowyn on her
idolisation of battle-glory and encourages her not to scorn gentleness or
peace, and he’s so freaking good for her.(Seriously. Can we just stop for a moment and think about how
wonderful Eowyn and Faramir are for each other: Faramir encouraging Eowyn to
turn towards life and healing and openness while never denying her strength or courage, and Eowyn giving Faramir the
validation and security he never got after so many years of an awful
relationship with his father? I honestly don’t know why I don’t get all giddy
about these two more often, because they make the very best otp.)And the result of the departure of the Shadow and her
friendship with Faramir is Eowyn’s decision that ‘I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I
will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.’I think that last bit is so important because I’m certain
that Tolkien doesn’t mean for Eowyn to immediately pack up her sword and shield
and become a good girl sitting at home with her knitting and waiting for the
men to return home after the fight – after all, she’s going to be the wife of
the Steward of Gondor and there’s a lot of mess to clean up after the War of
the Ring. Eowyn’s probably still going to find herself defending hearth and
home from time to time. But the important thing is that she’s no longer
defining herself simply by the doing of valiant deeds; she’ll no longer compare
herself to the great warriors of her house and feel lacking simply because she
hasn’t killed as many men. Most importantly, she’s not going to take joy only in the songs of the slaying, in
destruction and death. Tolkien was all about healers symbolising life and
rebirth, and Eowyn’s decision to become one – to aid in the preservation of
life rather than the taking of it – is so beautiful. I don’t think Tolkien ever
wrote Eowyn’s ending to make her reclaim her ‘lost femininity’; I think it’s a
lovely way of adding to the ever-present theme in Lord of the Rings of hope and
frailty and healing and friendship over glory and battle and strife.Ah, fuck, you’re gonna catch me smiling and crying about this excellent and terrific piece of analysis you got here OP. Thank you for sharing this 💖
thank you
the thing about Eowyn is that it’s very clear that her attitudes towards battle don’t come out of a healthy place. and I don’t just mean a place of “war is glorious” or “fighting is more worthy than ‘womanly’ things.” there’s some of that, yes (and who could blame her, really, growing up among the songs of great men and great deeds, while feeling an ill fit for the role in life she was forced into?) but there’s something else too.
when Eowyn’s being tended to in the Houses of Healing Gandalf and Aragorn talk about how she’s been suffering for a long time. Aragorn says that there’s been a darkness over her since before the Witch King ever got to her. when Eomer is confused because he never noticed anything, Gandalf points out that Eomer at least could ride out and defend his country when it was under attack but Eowyn had to stay home and look after Theoden while Wormtongue corrupted him and abused her.
Eowyn went through hell. she was trapped in an awful, awful situation, watching her country crumble and her people suffer, war break out, her brother get exiled, her uncle who was like a father figure to her become ill and twisted by the machinations of this horrible man who was leching on her in his spare time, and there was nothing she could do about it. nothing but sit at home and tend to Theoden and watch.
the narrative and characters come about as close as they possibly can without using modern language to saying that Eowyn went through severe depression culminating in serious suicidal ideation. all of which fits into the ongoing themes in the book about how war can psychologically affect people.
yes, Eowyn wanted glory in battle, but I think that largely came out of her desperate need to just do something when for so long she was effectively powerless. and even after killing the Witch King, which I think can be pretty much universally agreed to be about as good as it gets when it comes to glory in battle, she was trying to get back in the fight. she’s literally wandering around the Houses of Healing with a broken arm angry that she’s not being allowed to fight some more while the healer begs her to go lay down already.
and that makes sense to me because at that point what Eowyn wanted wasn’t to do great deeds and be praised for them. she wanted to die in battle–gloriously, yes, but she wanted to die. and then she doesn’t. and she doesn’t know what to do afterwards. and the war is still on. and everyone’s gone to attack Mordor and she’s been left behind, again, and again she cannot do anything but wait.
and then she meets Faramir, and Faramir understands her because he has been through the same things. he has watched his country come under attack from within and without and been able to do nearly nothing about it. he has been the unfavored one in the shadow of a sibling who was a great warrior. he has seen his father die. he has been hurt by the Nazgúl. we have both come under the same shadow, and the same hand drew us back. Faramir doesn’t magically step in and make Eowyn better because he’s a man. they help each other because they are two people who can relate to the hell they have been through and they hold hands and walk back into the light.
I don’t see Eowyn’s story climax as being a woman who goes “oh, I’ll stop being badass then and let the men do everything.” I never have. I see it as Eowyn choosing to live, and that to me is the most amazing, profound strength, to overcome everything she has been through, to fight through the hell in her own head and the darkness that has plagued her and to start moving forward.
deciding to live when you have spent so long only wanting to die is not an easy thing. it is an act of tremendous courage. it should not be mistaken for weakness simply because it coincides with putting down the tools of war.
Everyone should aspire to a cat’s understanding of healthy relationships
-they are vocal about their emotional as well as physical needs (alerting you when they need affection or entertainment in addition to when they need food), demonstrating an excellent example of self care and open communication
– they can enjoy being in a space with you while you’re each doing your own thing, demonstrating the healthy boundaries and separate interests
– they also like learning about what you’re doing and being involved in your hobbies (e.g. sitting on your laptop, cuddling while you read a book or knit a scarf or play a game)
-they consistently enforce their boundaries. first with nonverbal communication, then verbal (hissing/growling), then violence (scratching/biting) when needed, demonstrating that it’s 100% appropriate to defend your bodily autonomy by any means necessary, even against those you love and depend on.
-they demonstrate the importance of ongoing consent by respecting their ability to change their mind during physical affection and stop at any point
For those of us worried about potentially being wiped out because Tumblr is a fucking dumpster fire, this link tells you how to at least back up your Tumblr: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360005118894-Export-your-blog
A bit about what Garak and Andy really mean to me.
I was just thinking about how
much Garak means to me as a queer person because he’s a queer character and how
grateful I am that Andy has kept being insistent all these years upon Garak
being pansexual even when corporate people were pushing against it. I wanted to
talk about how I see Garak as a positive role model–which is probably fucking
weird as hell since he is a spy, assassin, torturer, and a number of
other ‘nasty’ things.But there are so few queer characters, and Garak is strong,
clever, intelligent, witty, loyal, creative, and unashamed of himself as far as
his sexuality and gender expressions go. Garak is portrayed at times as
effeminate, and yet he will fucking kill you, okay? It’s so powerful and awesome
that Garak embodies BOTH these things. I mean we live in a culture where
strength = masculinity, and effeminate men are portrayed as being ‘weak’
which ties right into women being portray as ‘weak’ too. Garak says fuck
that shit I am a badass, and I can also make you a lovely cocktail dress that
will turn all the heads, and either way I will blow your fucking mind.I was thinking about how Garak must deal with claustrophobia,
crippling anxiety, addiction, and probably depression too though that’s not as
explicitly indicated in the show. But no doubt he has felt that in being an
exile–he felt so bad that he turned on his wire just to escape and to deal with
his life. Garak has many emotional problems, but he stays alive. He keeps
fighting. He keeps doing his thing. He is an outsider on this station full of
people who are not like him, full of people who hate him, full of people who’d
probably rather see him dead–and if that doesn’t sound like the shit that is
going on in the U.S. regarding the LGBT community and other minority groups, I
don’t know what does. Many of us live in this place where we feel like we are
lost, unwanted, feared, loathed, treated as people who are disgusting, wrong,
and undeserving of a happy and productive life. A lot of us in the LGBT
community feel like outsiders, like exiles in our own world. But Garak keeps
moving on. Not only that, but at the end of things, he gets to go home again.His home is destroyed by war, but he does get to go home. He
gets to find his place again. There is still some bit of hope there even though
so much bad has happened. To me… that kind of gives me hope that maybe I will
find my place one day too.I just love Garak so much, and there are so many reasons why,
but these reasons are deep and personal. I think there are a lot of other
people who understand this too. Garak does seem to be a favorite among queer
folks in this fandom and the reasons are obvious.I’m so thankful that Andy made the choices he did, was bold
enough and brave enough to say, ‘fuck it I’m going to do this’, has been
consistent through the years in insisting that Garak is queer, and that he
portrayed this amazing, complex, character who faces so many obstacles but he
keeps on going and living even if it’s only out of spite, or instinct, or
whatever.After the election, there were tons of helplines and suicide
prevention numbers all over my facebook feed because people in the LGBTQIA
community were so terrified. We still are. Our country has elected a man whose
platform would see our marriages ended, our rights taken away, our people
forced into torturous conversion therapy, and hormone therapy ended for those
who are transgender or nonbinary. My best friend was very upset over the
election and at one point I told her–we must keep fighting. Garak and Damar
wouldn’t give up. I was thinking about them huddled down in the basement while
outside Cardassia is being destroyed by their enemies, about them facing the
Jem’Hadar, Garak charging forward screaming FOR CARDASSIA. Later she told me
that it was ‘silly’ but that telling her that they would not give up had
helped her find a source from which to draw strength.Sometimes shows are just shows, stories are just stories, and
characters are just characters.But sometimes they are so much more than that.
I hope that Andy really knows how much he is appreciated, and
how much of an impact he has had on some of us. A lot of us have few people who
stand by our side. It is good to know that on a fictional space station there
is this guy with scales and a well-tailored tunic who would sit down with us at
lunch and tell us that we are okay.
Last night I made a bit of a blunder. I wanted something short and
ridiculous to watch on Netflix, and instead I ended up watching The
Princess Switch. Now, it wasn’t spectacular, but I found it
entertaining (the second-hand embarrassment wasn’t even crippling,
just existent enough for regular pauses). I was however rather
cheesed off that there was one character who was some kind of
background helper figure, implied to be either Santa helping everyone
achieve their Christmas wishes or some kind of benevolent angelic
figure.Old white dude.
Old white dudes and predestination crap pisses me off, especially
when they’re not clearly coded as Santa or benevolent supernatural
being. Otherwise it’s just creepy.I was musing about that more this morning, and my brain coughed up a
random comment about how the only old white dude I’d be comfortable
as the mastermind behind a romance is Nate Ford –then I flashed to @dharmaavocado’s brilliant Star Wars/Leverage crossover
fic (here, here, and here!), and then THIS happened.Under a cut due to spoilers for The Princess Switch (which you don’t have to know, and if you’re inclined to watch the trailer you’ll basically see all the major scenes inspiring this). Also Rex/Obi shenanigans, and Cody/Vos because that was somehow a thing that happened?
Hugs for EVERYONE*
*hugs you all* Because today is a day for hugs, and I’m going to run out of spoons if I go putting hugs in everyone’s ask box.
Feel free to reblog this to give a hug to every one of your followers.
*who is comfortable with being hugged. If you do not like hugs or are uncomfortable with physical contact, or even just prefer not a hug from someone not a mutual friend, cookies or other snacks suitable for your dietary needs and restrictions.
In Harry Potter’s third year of Hogwarts, Professor
Trelawney decides a mess of tea leaves in a teacup is not a mess, but a Grim,
the black dog of death. Everyone ignores this after the initial fuss dies down,
but it isn’t exactly forgotten.It’s reasoned in Houses that are Not Gryffindor that Potter
has actually tried to die for the previous two terms already. Trelawney might
be an incense-laden fraud, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Three
times, even, if you’re in possession of a Time-Turner.Thus, on Christmas Day, everyone staying over during the
hols awakens to find that the massive gaudy star on the Great Hall’s Christmas
tree has been replaced with an ornament painted up to eerily resemble the head
of the Grim.Harry thinks it’s hilarious. He waits until the holiday is
over to thank the twins for giving him a laugh.George and Fred glance at each other. While an excellent
idea, this was not their doing.This is unacceptable. Their status as the school pranksters is at risk.
The twins decide that they will find this obvious Kindred
Spirit and enlist them in the joys of terrorizing Hogwarts’ staff.What they don’t expect is how difficult this task will be.
They also don’t expect the result: a Hufflepuff so unassuming that they looked
over the blond kid’s hair at least twice before realizing they were overlooking
their culprit.“Oh, that’s just the curse,” the Hufflepuff says after
introductions are completed.“Aren’t you a Muggle-born?” George asks.
The Hufflepuff shrugs.
After a bit of conversation, George and Fred decide two
things:The Hufflepuff is a quiet, elusive, pranking genius.
They are adopting Unassuming Hufflepuff post-haste.
Well, three things, really. Unassuming Hufflepuff is so
unassuming that they could get away with murder, if they were so inclined.None of them realize that this new alliance means that they
will eventually save the school from Sirius Black.





