deadcatwithaflamethrower:

Part 2 (with a link to Part 1) is here.

“Not all Muggle towns look like this,” is the first thing
Regulus says after they leave the train station.

“Oh thank Merlin,”
Sirius gasps in relief, because this place is a shithole. He has enough manners
not to say that to Lily, Remus, and Severus, who are waiting to meet them. It’s
probably on his face, anyway.

“I’m so glad I warned the intelligent of the pair
beforehand,” Severus says.

“So am I!” Sirius turns around in a circle, his jaw hanging
open. “What the fuck happened to this place?”

“Industrial pollution,” Lily says with a sigh.

“What the fuck is that?”

“Do you pay attention to anything, ever?” Remus asks,
grabbing Sirius’s arm when he stares at the blackened buildings too long.

“Unless it’s actively trying to kill me or has the potential
to make me dead? Not really,” Sirius replies. Severus turns around and gives
him an odd look that isn’t quite calculation, but he doesn’t know what it
means.

Then it becomes bug-eyed astonishment when Regulus tells
them the plan. “You actually want to meet
my Mother?” Severus asks in disbelief.

Regulus sighs and rolls his eyes. Sirius thinks he’s been practicing
Severus’s moods, even if those are usually jammed in Sarcastic. “That was the
plan, remember? What else did you expect us to do?”

“Fucking well bloody lie
about it, that’s what!” Severus retorts, hints of an accent that is definitely
not Pure-blood Posh leaking through. Sirius thinks that sounds a hell of a lot
more interesting than Magical Oxford nonsense.

Sirius stops gawping at buildings and stores—he does not
know what crisps are but he wants them immediately—to snort out laughter. “Snape.
Severus,” he corrects himself, because somehow during the Great Library Hunt
for Animagus Hints, he stopped calling Severus by his last name. It’s still a
bit odd. “Shading the truth, like Regulus did this morning, is one thing.
Outright lies? I’d rather not be poisoned for dinner, thank you.”

“Lie detector spells,” Regulus explains when the others look
horrified. “They’re in place in every public area of the house, though after
Uncle Alphard visited, I’m certain they’re only keyed to respond to myself and
Sirius.”

Sirius is about to respond to that when the buildings open
up. A narrow path leads to a grassy expanse that is sudden in its green openness. There is some rusting metal
something-or-others perched here and there on the grass determined to grow in
the midst of all these black-stained buildings, and kids are playing with a
spotted ball on the far side.

He doesn’t even realize he’s abandoned the others and walked
straight to the entrance to the field until he hears Remus trying to get his
attention. “What?”

“It’s a decent park, mate, but we still have a few blocks to
go,” Remus says.

Park. This is what a park is supposed to look like? Sirius
imagines the rusty things are probably not meant to be rusty, though some
mental kids are climbing all over it anyway. A park isn’t supposed to be an
ornamental patch no one visits. It’s a…a playground. He thinks he’s heard Lily
use the term.

“What do you see?” Lily asks curiously.

Sirius’s eyes are locked on kids their age who are running,
wild and free, even if the game they’re playing makes no sense at all. “Freedom.”

“But—they’re just playing,” Lily says, but Sirius doesn’t
know how to explain it any better than that.

Regulus tugs on Sirius’s arm. “Come on. They’re going to
think we’re perving on them, Sirius.”

“Right.” Sirius follows the others, but he does look back.
Once.

Severus’s house is the one they reach first, a little
cottage-looking house on a street named Spinner’s End. Mrs. Snape, one former
Eileen Prince, gives them a sour look when they enter her sitting room. She has
black hair and black eyes, like her son, but the resemblance ends after that.
Her nose looks like it’s been broken two or three times, her lips are so thin
they almost don’t exist, and she is plump where Severus insists upon
impersonating a well-fed rail. Sirius thinks Severus is pale, but Mrs. Snape
insists upon being sallow in a way that looks like jaundice.

“I thought you were taking this lot to be the Evans’ problem
today,” Mrs. Snape sneers at Severus.

Sirius glances at Severus. Okay, maybe Severus never needed
a mirror. Mrs. Snape could give the mirror
itself tips on how to sneer to the
most vindictive, derisive effect. Severus is downright pleasant in comparison,
and that’s just entirely fucked up.

Regulus got them this far. Sirius is eldest, so he gets to
play his part now. “Hello, Madam Snape.” That causes Mrs. Snape to eye him like
a bug just wandered into the room and started speaking French. “My apologies. I’m
Sirius Black, and this is Regulus Black.” Regulus gives her his best charming
smile, which outshines Potter’s best efforts any day. “Our mother Walburga
Black wished for us to remember her to you. She recalls you from Hogwarts, you
see.”

“Walburga Black. Remembers who I am.” Mrs. Snape’s eyebrow
is climbing in disbelief. “Really.”

“Of course, Madam,” Sirius answers, adding a touch of
confusion to his voice. “Why would she not? Your presence is the very reason my
brother and myself were allowed to visit your village.”

Mrs. Snape narrows her eyes. “I see. I hope you are not
expecting favors or the like from me. You must earn them.”

Sirius smiles. “As is properly Slytherin, of course. Should
I pass along any messages to my mother on your behalf?”

The woman is practically squinting at him now. “Tell her I’m
pleased to be recalled by such an…illustrious
family, and the Black scions are welcome whenever they wish to visit. As long
as they spend their time elsewhere,”
she adds, glaring at Severus.

“Thank you! I will pass that along properly,” Sirius says,
and then gladly beats a hasty retreat with the others.

“I have never, ever, ever heard you speak like that before
in my life,” Remus declares when they’re
beyond the Snape family garden’s boundary.

Sirius is sticking his tongue out of his mouth. “I knowf!
Geth ifth off!” He mimes removing rubbish from his tongue. “Ugh. I bloody well
hate that nonsense!”

“Thank you for speaking normally again. I wanted to stab
you,” Lily says, making an absolutely appalled face. “That is not how they speak in Wizarding London!”

“No, that’s not how they speak in Diagon Alley,” Regulus corrects
her. “Wizarding Pure-bloods in London are really that bad.”

“No, they’re worse. Ugh,” Sirius whines.

“Now will you knock off with how unnatural my accent is?”
Severus asks Lily.

Lily grins at Severus, which always makes her eyes seem
brighter. Sirius is still not convinced they’re not dating. “After hearing how
much worse and pretentious it could be? Sure, I’ll leave it be, Sev. After
this, meeting my parents should be easy!”

“Easy stressful or easy traumatizing?” Sirius asks.

“Easy confusing,” Remus says when Severus and Lily are
baffled by the question. “You’ll like electricity, by the way. Just don’t stick
anything metal into the outlets. Might kill you.”

“THEIR HOUSE IS BOOBY-TRAPPED, TOO?” Regulus and Sirius both
yell in horror.

Severus stares at Sirius hard from the corner of his eye. It’s
that odd, unidentifiable look again. “You weren’t kidding about the poison at
dinner, were you?”

“Huh? No, why? Who jokes about poison?” Sirius asks, still
trying to figure out how they’re going to deal with Yet Another Booby-Trapped
House. Regulus’s shoulders are hunched, ready for fucking mutated doxies behind
every closed door. “What other booby-traps do we need to worry about aside from
deadly electricity traps?”

Lily sighs while Remus plasters his hand over his eyes. “All
right, maybe this won’t be as easy as I thought,” she admits.