I’m finally addressing what needs to be said given the behavior of fandom over the last few weeks. It took me a while because I wasn’t entirely sure what to say that didn’t have me go off on a tangent with my point hiding like a needle in a haystack.
I’ve been seeing a lot of horrific actions from fandom lately, but what’s even worse is that a lot more well-meaning fans are getting sucked into anti rhetoric because they are terrified of being wrong and becoming a potential target. That’s insidious.
Accusing people of something as strong as pedophilia because their ship has an age gap is not social justice. Sending people disgusting images of gore and child pornography because you deem their ship immoral is not social justice. Creating block lists of “problematic” blogs because you don’t agree with their content is not social justice
AND ALL THESE ACTIONS DO IS TURN PEOPLE INTO TARGETS AND CREATE MORE VICTIMS VIA MOB RULE.
It’s disgusting and such actions aren’t fooling anyone. Because this isn’t about protecting fandom and survivors, this is about dictating fandom behavior to feed their own inflated sense of self-righteousness. This is the reason we call these people “antis”. Their motivation lies entirely with disliking a certain ship or content creator, and using social justice buzzwords that Tumblr thrives on in order to spread fear and discourse.
Trust me, I’ve been in fandom longer than a fraction of you have even been alive. Morally policing fandom has NEVER ended well. NEVER. All it does is just create victims, and once one innocent person is driven away, the mob then turns its teeth on another, and the vicious cycle continues until the entire fandom just falls apart. It probably stems from a form of jealousy, a narcissistic need to have fandom enjoy things the way they do, and if they can’t have their fun then no one can. Then again, I’m not really here to rationalize such irrational actions.
So for those who find themselves caught in the middle and unsure what to do, I’m going to ask that if you see this kind of “anti” behavior to please recognize it for what it is: just someone who is using buzzwords to wave around their superior sense of morality and nothing more. Like, seriously, what kind of person sees an event that specifically talks about dedicating a week filled with nothing but positivity for fandom and they immediately start tearing it down? What kind of person makes callout posts and block lists that call for fandom to rally against a single individual just because they don’t agree with said individual’s content? What kind of person thinks it’s okay to slander and accuse others of heavy crimes like pedophilia just because a certain ship is in competition with their own?
Such sanctimonious behavior isn’t unique to fandom, either. As a parent, I see this shit all the time in the, erm, “mom fandom” I guess we can call it. I’ve seen people accused of child abuse for using formula instead of breastfeeding. For letting their kids watch more than an hour of TV per day. For not feeding their kids organic food straight out of the dirt. Ridiculous? Yes, and this whole “anti” behavior is ranked right up there on that ridiculous level. And both these groups of people are coming from the same exact sanctimonious place. So you’re damn right I don’t buy into anti rhetoric about how they are just “looking out for fandom”. Bullshit. And that bullshit is the same everywhere.
Nobody here is saying you can’t be uncomfortable with things, of course not. But there are a lot of things in this world that you are going to be exposed to that you don’t like, that make you uncomfortable, that will trigger you. There are only two healthy ways of dealing with this:
One, you can engage that person in a conversation, explain your stance, and then listen to their response. No, this isn’t tone-policing. You don’t know anyone’s story or their motivations. Nothing in this world gives you the right to be abusive to another human being that sits behind your screen.
Two, simply don’t give that person your support anymore. Unfollow, block, and move on with your life. Don’t turn someone into a target of abuse. Don’t create a victim.
THIS APPLIES TO ALL FANDOMS
… for some time it has been known that women and girls with ADHD are more likely to internalize their symptoms, saying things like: “I’m stupid” or “I can’t do anything right.” They are easily embarrassed and humiliated by the consequences of their ADHD symptoms and behaviors.
…
Even when a girl is hyperactive, her behaviors may often look very different than they do in a boy. A girl with ADHD may be hypertalkative or hyperreactive (crying a lot or slamming doors) – behaviors one may not typically think of being associated with ADHD.
… a girl may also demonstrate a whole host of other behaviors. She may react to distress experienced in the classroom (low self-esteem and poor academic performance) by developing avoidance behaviors exhibited by headaches or stomachaches or a true school phobia where she is unable (or refuses) to attend school. She may become shy and withdrawn within the classroom… poor organizational skills may occur in the form of messiness, disheveled appearance, and/or grooming problems. Her poor social skills exhibited by bossiness, shyness, interrupting or excessive talkativeness may result in outright peer rejection or difficulty making and keeping friends.
Patricia Quinn, 100 Questions and Answers about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls (via robotslenderman)
I don’t know all the reasons why I like dark things, and I don’t think I need to know them all, but… I was just looking at the blog of that person who said I “dehumanize and fetishize” gay men, and I saw that he was quite young (15) and his blog was all full of pastel colors and references to his mental illness and something dawned on me that I hadn’t thought about in a Tumblr context at all.
Part of my PTSD is about experiences I had in hospitals, and because of that one of my triggers is… not pastels, all by themselves, but like… have you ever stayed in a hospital as a kid? And everything is covered in soothing soft colors and all the nurses wear scrubs with like… cute animal drawings on them and everyone talks in a sing-song voice and reassures you things won’t hurt when they OBVIOUSLY will and you’d rather they tell the truth, accept that you have good reasons to be scared, and get it the hell overwith?
Yeah, I think I just figured out why those kids’ blogs give me a weird tingly feeling of creeping dread.
And I think I figured out, also, where my intense leeriness of “safe spaces” and trigger warnings comes from too–even though as a person with PTSD I’m supposed to want them.
It’s because in my experience, people who were trying to make me feel safe were LYING. They were lying because it was in their interest–in mine, too, but in theirs–for me to feel calm and soothed. For me not to feel despair, or anger, or blind screaming rage.
…Is it any wonder I like the stories where the people with the knives and the cruel smiles and the mind games are blatant about it? Or that I might want a few knives of my own, even though I have no desire to hurt anyone who isn’t going to get off on it?
I don’t want those kids to not need safety.
I want them to stop pretending safety looks the same for everyone.
Yes, this.
When people tell me “You’re safe,” I don’t think of Helpful Adult saving me from the monsters under the bed. I think of my teachers, saying the people who hurt me would never do such a thing, and I should stop lying because I was perfectly safe. I think of the people who used to hug me until my lungs wouldn’t fill and my ribs creaked, and got away without a whisper of a reprimand. Because they were pretty and soft, and I was cold and harsh.
That’s not safe, to me. That’s the most dangerous place in the world, because the people who live there will do anything- anything at all- if it means they don’t have to acknowledge how nasty their walled garden has really gotten. Because if I defend myself, they can’t pretend anymore. And they sure as hell won’t defend me.
THIS.
I have experienced a lot of passive-aggressive emotional abuse in my life and let me tell you – my abusers had a vested interest in keeping me calm.
Upset means resistance. Upset means that they have to face the damage they’ve caused. Upset means that you may finally realize that you should leave. Upset means that you might just get up and leave. So they soothe you. They make you doubt the validity of your feelings. They make you feel guilty for getting upset. They make you think that the issue was your fault in the first place. They make you feel like getting upset is pointless. They make you feel like you have wronged them and yourself by being unhappy.
You do not have to let yourself be soothed. You do not have to let them take the fight out of you. If you do not feel safe; you do not have to feel guilty for getting yourself out. You do not have to feel guilty for being upset when someone has wronged you. You do not have to feel guilty for seeking your own brand of safety.
This is the most poignant description of what it actually feels like to be helpless in an institution that I’ve ever read.
It’s a special kind of violence to be hurt and to be told that it’s kindness. It’s intensely intimate and perverted. Succumbing to it is… spiritually destructive in a way that I have a hard time putting to words. Just… in my safe space I’m always fighting because as long as I continue to struggle that very special form of violence can’t take hold of me and I’ll be okay.
Like… when I get triggered about some of these experiences I’ll even have fantasies about dying while resisting. I mean… I don’t want to go into details because super triggering but… just think about that for a moment.
“It’s a special kind of violence to be hurt and to be told that it’s kindness. It’s intensely intimate and perverted.”
My experiences are not exactly the same as yours, but this, yes.
This is why I have such intense reactions to unkind SJ, whether it’s “sit down, shut up, and listen” (gee, what might that resemble?) or “representation means heroes with no serious flaws.”
Because that particular “shh, shh, shh, if we pretend utopia is already here, it soon will be” lie has hurt me EVERY TIME I’ve heard it.
I’m learning now that the roots of a lot of my trauma was this exact “your life is perfect, you’re not allowed to feel anything other than happiness, you’re ungrateful,” yelling more if I cried, any inkling of talking back or standing up for myself was met with twice the punishment, etc
So while it’s understandable that those in a dark place seek softness and gentle color, and there’s nothing wrong with that, those of us forced into it seek the grime as a form of truth and expression that wasn’t allowed for us, or a fictional playground of violence and anger where we can actually scream our frustrations onto a canvas.
And telling people that they should ditch such exploration for holy goodness is just another form of telling us our anger shouldn’t exist
Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese?
GO VEGAN.
WRONG
That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.
This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.
Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.
…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?
Militant vegans can fuck right off
Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older. Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).
Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum. They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.
In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows. Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working. I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment. So, nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty.
Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed. Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected. I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.
reblogging for educational purposes.
reblogging for people being schooled
This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you.
I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda.
Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg.
So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too.
P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!
Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head. Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.
“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”
I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain @thehornedwitch
Happy to explain! See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y’know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham. Anyway, back to the mouse. One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen. All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM. Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing. By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly. Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs. They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim. Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.
Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again.
Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying
Will I’m using it as a compliment
I love farm animals.
“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”
If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again.
I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got stories.
I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to eat herself because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself.
Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.
I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean destroy. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.
Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. They are still dinosaurs.
Thankfully they are small dinosaurs
and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to
BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels
soon after the events of ‘the search’ garak casually says “i’m afraid i won’t be able to have lunch with you today” and doesn’t understand why julian looks that unnerved
Garak walked through the open doors of the infirmary. It was early, but such a visit was necessary. He had a client of sorts arriving at the station that morning who wished to discuss important matters. He needed to alert Doctor Julian Bashir to the abrupt change of plans. He half expected the dear doctor not to be at work that early, but as he entered the doors, the doctor looked his way and offered a polite but puzzled smile.
“Good morning, Garak,” the doctor said as he turned completely towards him, the central console abandoned, “Is there something I can do for you?”
“No, I’m afraid not,” Garak said. He stopped an arm’s length away, “I’m only here to inform you of a change in plans. I’m afraid I won’t be able to have lunch with you today.”
Something washed over the young man’s face. It widened the doctor’s eyes, paled his skin, tightened his lips in. Garak blinked. His own certainty over the matter nearly wavered. He thought to turn to peer behind him, but with those brown eyes frozen on his face, he was certain it was his words that triggered the reaction.
“Doctor, is something wrong?”
Julian blinked. His mouth flapped open, shut, open. Then his eyes jerked away.
“N-no, I’m sorry,” Julian said, “It’s nothing.”
“I’m afraid your appearance betrays your feelings, my dear doctor,” Garak said. An invitation. Julian wavered physically, perhaps mentally, at the suggestion. Then he sighed.
“Remember when I told you about the changelings taking us? And the computer simulation of the station?” Julian asked.
“Yes.”
Pause.
“Well, you were on the station, of course. When we were on the way to the escape pod to escape the attacked station, you helped us. Before we got there though, you were shot, and… you died. I tried to help but there was nothing…” Julian’s voice drifted, sank, disappeared. Then he lightly shook his head twice. “Before you died, you spoke to me. Your words were, ‘I’m afraid I won’t be able to have lunch with you today.’ Word for word.”
Ah. Well that certainly explained the grave face the good doctor had put on, and the continued lack of eye contact. What a transparent man. Delightful, but as see-through as the station’s glass. Garak smiled softly.
“How unfortunate. I apologize for triggering such a memory, Doctor. That was not my intention. If it is any consolation, matters are not so dire. One of my off-station clients is arriving on the station this morning and wished to speak with me over lunch. I’m afraid their arrival and meeting is important enough to miss ours for. If you would like, we can meet for dinner this evening. Perhaps it will ease your anxiety over the matter.”
Julian finally looked at him again.
“Only if dinner won’t be a bother,” Julian said.
“I wouldn’t offer it as an option if it were problematic,” Garak said. Julian smiled again. It was delicate, near fragile, and sent fire through Garak’s heart for a moment. He batted down the flames.
“I’d like that,” Julian said.
“Excellent. We can dine wherever you wish. How does nineteen-hundred hours sound?”
“That’s fine.” There was a lightness in Julian’s voice again.
“Good. We can meet outside my shop.”
“Sound good. Thank you, Garak.”
“No, thank you.” Garak turned, paused, then looked back at Julian. “Oh, and doctor, I would never be so foolish as to let someone on the station kill me with a phaser. I’m aging, my dear, but my senses aren’t dulling quite yet.”
Julian’s smile warmed.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Garak nodded, turned, and left the infirmary, happier with the day’s events now that matters were settled.
Writing the copyright page is legitimately giving me a heart attack. Either that or I’ve fucked up my meds. Aaaaah. I’ve only ever had to do this for other people before. I can’t believe I’m writing my own copyright page.
Also hi it’s 4am and I’m still a raging insomniac, how we all doing?
Oh, educational moment, just in case you ever need to write one of these things, they are actually really simple. All it consists of is
You can also get away with writing just all rights reserved if you want, but it’s often better to go into more detail, things like “all rights reserved, no element of this book may be recreated or distributed except with the express permission of [either your name or your publisher]” tend to hold up a lot better when it comes to suing someone for stealing your work, as does adding in the disclaimer spiel that all elements of the book are fictional and you totally didn’t base that one character on that one guy/place etc etc. You don’t technically need one, but it’s good to have. Like underwear ie cover your ass.
The copyright page is also a good place to give your contact details, such as author website or email, and to also credit your artists/editors/people who helped you get the book in print. If you are going through a place like Barnes and Noble for distribution, I think you need to buy your own ISBN regardless of whether epub or not, but I’d need to look that up. As it stands you don’t need an ISBN for kindle publishing or self distribution, although I know some people think it’s a good idea to, and honestly it’s good if you can afford it. I can’t at the moment but I likely will at some point.
(This does not include fanfiction written for
fun, you are welcome to play in my sandpit <3)
Please only purchase authorized electronic copies
of this story. If you have somehow obtained this book through other means and
have enjoyed it, please consider buying an official copy from [weblink].
The author appreciates your support and despite
popular belief, does not subsist on the tears of readers alone.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or
are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book contains content of an explicit and mature themed nature, and is intended to be enjoyed by those of and above the age of consent.
The author does not assume responsibility for
third-party websites or their contents. (As an aside, <—this is how I get out of saying I’m not responsible for the weird vampire kink y’all are gunna post on Ao3 just in case some puritan mob gets their pantaloons in a twist over it and decide I’m responsible for your lack of morals lol)
Cover art by _____; cover design and layout by _____.
Edited by _________
Digital copies of Hunger Pangs are available for purchase on Amazon, Patreon or by contacting Joy at [info @ weblink]
For Trade Paperback visit [weblink].
I’ll likely edit this again and run through it a few more times before I consider it finalized but yea. Job done. That’s a copyright page.
I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough time. It’s hard dealing with health issues.
Autistic burnout is when the stress in your life outpaces your coping skills in such a way that you are no longer able to handle the things you once were. This often results in the loss of abilities you once had, either temporarily or permanently. It can also result in an increased frequency or intensity of autistic traits. For instance, if you are normally verbal, you may find yourself going nonverbal more often or find yourself semiverbal all the time. You may suddenly have more difficulty with everyday tasks due to an increase in executive dysfunction. Further, sensory issues tend to become worse.
Burnout is typically exhausting and can mimic chronic fatigue, depression, and/or anxiety. Burnout is a lack of resources to deal with the demands of life. For more info, check out the following links:
a lot of the time it can seem like all of the nonbinary people out there are teens/kids but older nonbinary people exist and it’s important that we recognize that being nonbinary is not just a kid thing that people grow out of!! nonbinary adults exist!
I hate that social media has commodified performative grief and outrage to the point that every fucking person thinks that every tragedy that happens needs to be addressed by them, personally. I hate that there’s an expectation that everyone make some grand statement and that if you don’t do it, you must be heartless or hate the victims. We’re not all celebrities or politicians. Not every voice needs to be heard at all times. The world probably doesn’t NEED anyone’s take if it doesn’t contain new information. Processing things silently isn’t bad and it doesn’t make anyone a bad person and I honestly much prefer it to a lot of the self-serving bullshit you see when something awful happens in the world.
I fall into that trap. Most people do. It’s shit and it produces a lot of shit sentiment. “WHY AREN’T PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!” is my least favorite sentence in the world right now. Most people, when it comes to tragedy, have nothing to say. Most uninvolved people, in these circumstances, should say less.
There's a Mirror on the Wall 